Barry is feeling extremely down. He has a poor job, little money, ordinary relationships, unhappiness, argues with people, his boss treats him poorly, and overall he feels like he is going no where in life. Barry feels other people are to blame for his poor life. He feels like a "victim of this world". If Barry's circumstances are similar to yours or you have at times felt like this, then you need to continue reading.
Take a moment and look all around you. There are indicators everywhere of who you are as person. This brings up the question:
"Your surroundings, the circumstances you are in, and the people in your life, are they there because of you or are you there because of them?"
Read that through a few times if you didn't understand the question. This is like the old question "Did the chicken hatch before the egg?" but my original question to you has a definite answer.
Regardless of what you believe, how victimized you feel, how much you blame others, how much self-pity you have, or out of control you are in your life, everything around you is because of you and not the other way around.
I call this "accepting radical responsibility". It is "radical" because taking normal responsibility for who you are and who you become is not enough. The quality of your relationships, how you communicate with people, and everything else about your life was once and continues to be created by you.
If you're scared of public speaking, it is your fault.
If you broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, it is your fault.
If you haven't got that promotion, it is your fault.
If your team at work doesn't see you as a leader, it is your fault.
I'm giving you some "tough love" here because you need it right now in your life. Even I need to be told of this frequently to remind myself of taking responsibility.
One of my personal problems was a feeling of self-pity. You know how it feels. "Oh, poor old me. I try so hard but nothing happens. I'm so unlucky." That kind of self-talk and type of emotions are extremely damaging to your emotional well-being and the quality of your relationships.
Self-pity is a killer of self-esteem. Nothing will destroy good self-esteem more than self-pity.
Coming out of my slump where I had poor communication skills, I read a lot of helpful advice yet still had that dangerous emotion... self-pity.
I'll be honest with you, I still occasionally experience the emotion. There's no denying that. We all are only human. No matter how good you are in conversations or controlling your thoughts, you will always slip up. Perfection isn't human. If you do reach such a level of perfectionism, contact me and let me know how you became God.
There's no point in beating yourself up over little problems. In fact, doing so would amplify your feelings of self-pity and further decrease the likelihood of your success.
I want you today to think of an area in your life that you are experiencing self-pity. What is an area you feel sorry for yourself? I'm 99% certain you have one so take some time to think about the question.
Do you blame your partner for having a less than intimate relationship?
Do you hate your boss because he/she hasn't promoted you?
Do you just hate people?
Having thought about the problem, now think about what these blame-filled emotions do for you...
...Done? Good.
WHAT THESE ARE DOING TO YOU IS DESTROYING YOUR LIFE.
I know it's so easy to blame people for being rude to you, having an argument with them, not making friends, or not following your advice. But this blame-game is all lies and excuses that stimulate your self-pity and stops you from becoming the person you want to be.
If you want to have the relationships, the happiness, or/and the success, than you need to stop playing the blame-game. Pull out the white flag and surrender. The blame-game is not a game you can win. You are predestined for failure by blaming anyone for any of your circumstances.
To get the relationships you desire, to get in control of your relationships, you must accept radical personal responsibility. By accepting radical responsibility, you will become an active creator of your life and relationships. You will stop feeling victimized by the world. Humans were born to create so start getting in control of your relationships and create the relationships you desire by accepting radical responsibility.
When you begin a home business, forget all the free time and endless vacations many people talk about. Your primary focus is going to be on making enough money to survive. One of the biggest problems new home business owners face is confusing income with profit and it is the profit that will determine if you are successful or not. There is money to be made in a home business, but if you cannot control the expenses, you may not survive on the home front for very long. Alternative home based businesses that require not start-up costs such as Yuwie for example are a great place to start.
Little things that may seem insignificant when you worked for someone else can quickly add up and detract from your ability to survive financially. To begin with your office is now in your home and you will need to treat the home, and its associated expenses, as part of the cost of doing business. One of the biggest expenses you will have is utilities and if you can reduce utility costs for the home, you automatically reduce your cost of doing business.
Most states have competition among suppliers of gas and electric and searching out the company that offers the lowest price and best service may save you a few bucks every month. A couple of dollars may not seem like a lot of money when viewed in the overall picture of running the home business, but over time can up to significant savings. While looking at your utility costs, consider how many lights you leave on when you are not in the room. It is a common error by most families and one the savings devices could be automatic motion switches.
Motion detectors built into the light switches turn on the light when a person enters the room and shuts them off shortly after they leave. This can be a beginning to reducing energy consumption and lowering the bills. Try switching to energy saving fluorescent bulbs that are as bright as incandescent bulbs and although they cost a little more are more energy efficient and should last longer.
Ask yourself if you really need to heat at 72-degrees in the winter. Knocking a couple of degrees off the thermostat may save another couple of dollars a month and with the reduced energy bill you may be able to go out to lunch once in awhile. Speaking of lunch, there really is no need to venture out to the restaurant or even a fast-food joint for a burger. You have a completely equipped kitchen and refrigerator in which your lunch can be stored and prepped.
Do not get caught up in the convenience of online postage companies. Many of them charge a monthly fee, even id you do not use the service. They can run as high as $15 a month just so the service is available. Buy stamps when you are out and save that service fee. You may also not need the movie channels on your cable. You are going to be too busy operating your home business to enjoy many movies and they only distract you when you are supposed to be working.
There are many home based business that cost little or zero start up capital. One such program is called Yuwie, it has no start up fees and will get you going on the path of at least learning the ins and outs of internet marketing if this is your choice. Yuwie is a social network that pays it's users.
Leveraging the internet you can really keep advertising costs to a minimum with classified ads and blogging both of which are powerful promotional tools and cost no money to use.
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Both Joshua Uebergang & Michael Van Masters are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Joshua Uebergang has sinced written about articles on various topics from Sociology, Parental Care and Marketing and Communications. Joshua Uebergang can teach you at his communication skills website EarthlingCommunication.com. If you're ready to accept radical. Joshua Uebergang's top article generates over 40500 views. to your Favourites.
Michael Van Masters has sinced written about articles on various topics from . For more information on how to start and build a home based business for free an with next to zero advertising options please visit Michael's site and grab his free success guide at. Michael Van Masters's top article . to your Favourites.