If someone had suggested to me several years ago that the only way of making money was to stop needing it, I would have felt quite angry. How could I stop needing money when I was behind with my mortgage and struggling daily to pay for food? All I could think of was "How do I make money fast?" Yet, day after day, the answer eluded me.

Have you ever felt that the more you need money, the more it seems to escape you? One of the main reasons for this is because when you feel "needy" you are more likely to take whatever is on offer without proper research.

In the early 90s I had paying lodgers to try to supplement my income. When both moved out at the same time I was thrown into a state of dire "need". In this state of mind I took the next applicant to come along, who turned out to be extremely unreliable. He paid late, he ran up a 300 pound telephone bill and refused to pay it, and stole food from my fridge. I took him to court for the telephone bill and won, but he only paid me back in monthly instalments, which didn't help me much.

Now, if I had let go of my need and waited for someone of proven reliability, things would have been a whole lot better.

If you feel that you really need money, try asking yourself what would happen if you didn't get it. Look this fully in the face and ask yourself what you would do then. And then? By looking at the realities of your situation in this way, you may find that even if you don't get the money that you think you need, you will always find some other way forward.

Sometimes our fear of not having money stops us from really looking at the situation in this way. We refuse to look beyond our own fear, and then our fear actually increases because we feel we are facing something unknown.

Here's another question: How long could you go without this money before you would be homeless?

Very few people will answer this question in days. For most people it's usually in months, or even years. In fact, for some, the answer may be never. Most people have friends and family who would never allow that to happen, or at least help out in some way until you are back on your feet.

So, if you have months or years before things get really difficult, why not use this time to try a new way of thinking?

I remember when I was an actress it was often said that the people more likely to be successful in an audition were those who did not feel desperate to get the part. The same thing applies with money.

Try this experiment. Give yourself an amount of time that you know you can survive before things really go pear-shaped, and decide that during this time you will work with the assumption that you do not need money.

I have heard of people doing this and doubling their income within a few months.

You see, when you let go of the fear and stress of neediness, your brain is free to create and be inspired with new ideas and opportunities. While you are in a state of fear you are operating at an extremely ineffective level. You limit your ability to reason and create a vision.

Imagine if you could ask for what you want without the fear of losing it if someone says no. If you own a business, increase your fees. If you are in a job, ask for a raise.

Your ease and lack of desperation is far more appealing to people than if you deal with them out of neediness. We all know how unattractive desperation and neediness is and how attractive a more relaxed attitude is.

But what if I really DO need the money now?

If your situation really is dire, you need to be taking care of this as a priority. Get realistic about your finances. By looking at the stark reality rather than avoiding it, you may find that things are not as bad as you thought, or that a solution makes itself known.

Work out exactly how much time you can go on before push comes to shove, and write out a plan of action. Above all, don't be a victim. Take charge and believe that you have all the power to change your life. When you feel in control, you feel less needy, and in turn you will create more opportunities for yourself.

Always check your motivation for any money-making task. Are you doing this because you want to, or because you feel you should, or because you are desperate? Notice how the last two deplete your energy levels and the first option increases them. Acting out of enthusiasm and passion because you are enjoying what you are doing is the ONLY way to make money and build lasting financial freedom.