We've all seen couples go through messy divorces, and we've probably all wondered if something could not have been some sort of earlier prevention. Are you facing a possible divorce? Do you wonder: How can I save my marriage? Often we hear of couples going into counseling. Why? Because counseling allows someone to mediate when couples are dealing with sensitive issues. But for couples that want to save their marriage, this is a great beginning, and it proves divorce is not the only solution. Other things couples need to do, beside counseling, are really quite simple. Here are four things to consider that will improve your odds of success for those that want to save their marriage. Two people living together will always have differences. Perfect marriages only exist in romance novels and myths. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize it is possible to "save my marriage." Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient; the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained. The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can "save my marriage." Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to "save my marriage." Just because something breaks, don't throw it away. Fix it. Fixing things takes effort, but in the end, it is better than abandonment. That is certainly true of marriage. When both parties have a save my marriage point of view, both will want fix things that break, even if it takes effort. Walking away takes no effort, but has no reward. Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals it, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can "save my marriage.
When I work with failed marriages, there are several characteristics that are common among many of them. My mentor always said the big four causes of divorce are pornography, premarital sex, lack of a blessing for the marriage from at least one parent, and neglect. We've seen plenty of other factors, but these seem to come up with more regularity than most others.
Some of these factors get more attention than others. Many pastors and church leaders will discuss the harmful effects of pornography and premarital sex. And they will often discuss the husband's responsibility to love and nurture their wives as well. But few will ever discuss the importance of parental blessing on a marriage.
In today's culture, getting parental blessing on marriage is thought of as old-fashioned. Perhaps it is. Many people don't think it's necessary for their parents to approve of their future spouse. Still, there are a lot of great reasons to seek out the blessing from parents before walking the aisle. One of the biggest is authority.
You may be aware that marriage is based on authority. Ephesians 5:22-27 makes that very clear. In this passage, Paul reiterates the God-designed authority structure for the family.
When you get married, there is a transfer of authority. The bridegroom is no longer under his parents' authority, but is establishing his own household under God. And the bride is moving out from under her father's authority and under her husband's authority.
If any of the parents doesn't bless the marriage, then the transfer is done in rebellion.
And we have seen that a marriage established in rebellion will have more than it's share of struggles. What's worse is that most of these people have a terrible time solving their problems because they haven't learned how to solve problems according to God's Word. Failing to get parental blessing is often a symptom of that.
So, if you're thinking about getting married, make sure you get your parents' blessing. It will get your marriage started on the right foot. It won't guarantee a successful marriage, but it will go a long way in that direction.
If you are already married and didn't receive the blessing of a parent, then go to them and ask for their forgiveness. You can't change the marriage, but you can restore the relationship. It will also do away with the rebellious spirit in the marriage and help to restore a proper authority structure. And it could save your marriage.
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Allie Arensen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Gardening, Family. If you need more information, watch the free video at and start to "save my marriage":. Allie Arensen's top article generates over 9900 views. to your Favourites.
Steve Kroening has sinced written about articles on various topics from Investments, Asthma and Health. Steve Kroening writes for Success magazine and also publishes Wisdom's Edge. You can get Biblical tips on health, finance, relationships, parenting, and success, delivered to your email inbox every week. Simply visit. Steve Kroening's top article generates over 27100 views. to your Favourites.