Distress or Eustress

Teenagers have an assortment of stresses in their lives, but we must not try to extinguish them all. If we want to introduce teens to teenage stress management, we must first teach them to distinguish between bad stress (distress) and good stress (eustress).

* Distress is a negative force that leaves its victim wallowing in despair, unproductive, and frustrated.

* Eustress is a positive force that leaves its owner happy, productive, and anticipating good.

If not taught this first lesson of teenage stress management, teens may resort to destructive and abusive habits.

Teenage Stress Management at Home

Your teen's stress will likely begin at home. It may, in fact, have first made itself known when he was a toddler. The ongoing determination to gain independence is, in itself a stressor. Teenagers have other stressors, too, that originate within the home.

* Changes in their bodies
* Complexion problems
* Unsafe living conditions due to parental abuse
* Chronic illness in the family
* Family financial problems
* Separation or divorce of parents
* Death of a loved one
* Death of a family pet

Such stressors, if allowed to go unmanaged, can lead to anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, physical illness, or poor coping skills such as drug and/or alcohol use. Teenage stress management is needed to cope with stress at home.

Teenage Stress Management at School

School introduces additional stressors into your teen's life.

* Academic demands and the frustration of not meeting them
* Problems with friends and peer pressures
* Changing schools
* Teachers' too-high expectations
* Taking on too many activities

These stressors, too, call for teenage stress management techniques.

Teenage Stress Management Techniques

If you are involved with teenagers, you can give them specific teenage stress management techniques they can use. These ten will get them started.

1. Go to bed on time. Teenagers' bodies need more rest than most of them get. Stress can be handled better by a well-rested teen.

2. Get up on time. A day that begins with a rush begins with stress.

3. Simplify and un-clutter your life. You don't have to do everything.

4. Pace yourself. Allow extra time for big projects. Space them out so you aren't faced with many difficult tasks at once.

5. If you can't do anything about a situation, don't think about it. This includes the changes in your body and complexion.

6. Live within your budget. Don't use credit cards.

7. Be quiet and listen. That alone will keep a lot of stress at bay.

8. Laugh and then laugh again. Don't take yourself too seriously.

9. Be kind to unkind people rather than get angry at them.

10. Develop a forgiving attitude. You won't feel distress if you can forgive.

Behind Teenage Stress Management

Whenever we find ourselves in a situation that appears to be difficult, or might be painful, our minds and bodies undergo changes that prepare us to respond. This "fight, flight, or freeze response” turns on the stress reaction.

Happily, the stress reaction can be turned off the same way. If we decide that the situation is not difficult or dangerous, our minds and bodies can undergo changes that help us relax and calm down. This "relaxation response" turns on a sense of well-being.

If we can enable teens to develop a "relaxation response" through teenage stress management, they will feel less helpless and more in control.

Parents Applying Teenage Stress Management

Fathers and mothers can apply teenage stress management in a number of ways.

* Learn stress management techniques and set an example by using them in your own life. You are the best role model for your teenager.

* Counsel your child while he or she is young regarding changes they can expect in their bodies and their lives.

* Be alert to signs that your teenager is being negatively affected by stress. Think through ways of reducing specific stressors.

* Teach your teenager the stress management techniques you learned. Include breathing relaxation and progressive muscle relaxation.

* Listen to your teenager with your heart as well as your ears.

* Watch your teen's schedule to be sure he or she is not taking on too much.

* Be sure your teenager knows daily that he or she is loved by you.

Teenage stress management will succeed best if it is taught with love, and supported consistently by your own example.