Sure, there are lots of things to be angry about in our busy modern day life. But is it worth it? You're winding yourself up and alienating the people who care about you most. Hopefully the next statement isn't going to wind you up further, but you're maybe also being passed over for promotion because of your anger.
So it's time to do something about it!
Get angry at your anger!
1. Can you change the situation?
If you're getting angry about something over which you have no control, why are you letting it get under your skin? Some things were meant to bug us - heavy traffic on the freeway, the way the queue you've joined always moves the slowest, that kind of thing. But if you can't change the situation, don't get worked up about it. Because that will likely make it worse. Road rage will make you a worse driver and more likely to have an accident. Shouting and cursing at the cashier will put them into even slower mode and make their attitude worse.
2. Can you change how you react?
Now this one is actually under your control. You decide how you're going to react to something. OK, at the moment it's maybe hard-wired into your system that you fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. But that's your decision. Ultimately, your anger is your choice. Make a different choice next time - even if it's only a short 5 or 10 second "time out" before you let loose. Experiment. Catch yourself starting to get angry (you already know the triggers) and change your reaction. Even if it's only for a few seconds at first. Don't get angry about this - you've taken years to learn how to be the perfect angry person, don't expect to change to Mr or Mrs Nice overnight.
3. Small steps are often best
The last thing you want is to be sent on an anger management course against your will. You'll just be there growling with a group of other angry people. So start making the changes yourself. Small ones are good because your natural instincts won't fight them off. Turn the volume of your shouts down a notch. Cut your anger session short by a few seconds. Remember to breathe! This last tip is a good one - take a long deep breath, just like your mother told you to do when you were upset as a child. Fill your lungs with air - but not in preparation to shout at the object of your anger, just to feel better in yourself if only for a moment or two.
4. Congratulate and treat yourself when you control your anger
Chances are in the first stages no-one else will notice that you were less angry than normal. But you will. Congratulate yourself. Maybe even buy yourself a small treat. We work well with positive rewards, so give yourself a reward when you've curbed your anger.
Do you feel you have control of your mind or do your emotions control you? Are you feeling you act a lot like you did when you were a kid ? Do you say things you regret later and then beat yourself up?
You don't do anyone any favors when you express your anger while driving. It only makes you a hazard on the road plus it makes other people feel they also can vent and be childish. People react to the level of consciousness that is around them.
In the midst of driving if you see someone that is hitting the steering wheel, furiously honking or giving someone the finger don't feed their rage but ignore them. You don't want to antagonize someone more especially because their poor driving can impact lives. Realize that they are stuck in issues they don't have insight into and have compassion instead.
When someone is driving dangerously don't make eye contact. If you do they will probably take it the wrong way and feel challenged or belittled. When you are near them don't try to get back at them . Keep your own center and that is the best way to act in these circumstances. You can also call 911 if someone is really acting erratic or irrational.
Anger management tools enable someone to stay centered in the midst of tought situations. Through breathing and relaxation techniques you are able to keep things in perspective, not get bent out of shape and practice realizing that things will pass and your feelings can't rule you.
The beauty of anger management tools is that you can see that all the aspects of your life are improving. You don't just get calmer on the road, you'll also be calmer when your kids are egging you on or your boss is criticizing you or your mother-in-law is getting to you.
Sure you may slip a little or fall into reactions , but your intention to master yourself is the key. Often the roots and seeds are from our childhood and we have gotten stuck in old patterns. Remember these can be transcended and you can find true relief from past behaviors.
Both Trevor Johnson & Dee Cohen are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Trevor Johnson has sinced written about articles on various topics from Brain Power, Travel and Leisure and Web Development. Get more tips on and start your way to becoming a person people want to spend time with rather than avoid. Get more. Trevor Johnson's top article generates over 165000 views. to your Favourites.
Dee Cohen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Home Management, Medical Condition and Addictions. Don't be a slave to your emotions, but be the master of your unconscious with , and. Dee Cohen's top article generates over 22200 views. to your Favourites.