However there are those who are unable to effectively process their anger leading to a loss of control. These problems may seem insignificant and can be blamed on a stressful day at work or an inconsiderate driver. However if untreated anger problems can erupt into serious outbreaks of misplaced violence costing a person their job, loved ones, or even their freedom.
One common anger management tactic that has been thought to be effective is venting. Any kind of healthy cathartic expression of your feelings was thought to alleviate the burden of walking around with angry thoughts.
However, recent studies have shown that there is no evidence that venting works as an anger managing strategy. In fact in some cases it can be counterproductive and result in more angry behavior. Venting may appear to work but it only acts as a short term Band-Aid for a much more far reaching problem. One of the problems with venting is that it allows you to maintain your state of arousal when you should be trying to curb it.
There are a few things that you can force yourself to do to avoid an anger outburst. Although, your long term goal should be to treat the root cause of your inability to effectively process anger. Even though these tips may help you may need some form of therapy to treat the root cause of your anger issues.
Here are some things that you can do to alleviate your angry feelings. A simple thing to do is to take some deep breaths and slowly count to ten. If you can you can put on some good relaxing music and try to put yourself in a better mood. This is easily done in the car and a good strategy for people who have road rage.
You want to focus on the things that you are grateful for in your life, in addition if you are able to then calling a friend, family member, or your children is recommended. This takes your mind of the negative angry feelings and forces you to be put in a better frame of mind.
Other simple strategies include removing yourself from the situation like a time out, where you can relax, stretch, and move around. Ultimately you want to realize that you have full control over the situation and how you respond to it. A great tip is to re-frame how you've been seeing the situation; a lighter perspective can alleviate feelings of rage and anger.
These tips should be used when you feel an anger outbreak building to control the situation and save you from doing regrettable acts. They will not treat your anger problem but only help you manage it. If your anger processing problems have led to outbreaks of violence then you should seek professional help.
The emotions that actors are asked to display at the drop of a hat by his director are a marvel of control and skill and throughly enjoyable to watch and appreciate. I love to see them become mad, loving, playful or crazy knowing the control each of them has. I don't think I could do that, especially the crying.
How about your emotions? Do you have control over them? Or do they have control over you? You be making a big mistake if you allow them to control you. When you become a divorced parent, this is a very important area to tighten up because it drastically affects your children.
Here are a few test scenarios to see what is in control in your life, you, or your emotions. Just write in the answer - either ME or MY EMOTIONS.
1. I'm driving down the highway with the kids (who are arguing) and an old lady pulls in front of me without signaling and then drives under the speed limit.
2. I've just left work and have to pick up groceries in a hurry so I can make it to the Pre-School before 6 pm when an Asian lady cuts in front of me in line with her basket.
3. I have to get the boys to their soccer playoff game for the season. If I'm driving up to an intersection where there is a stop light for a train crossing and all the lights flash red just as I get there.
4. My boss hasn't spoken to me at work for over three days. She walks by my desk several times a day but it's like I'm not even there.
5. I don't want anyone to think that I'm doing a lousy job as a single parent, so I force myself to clean the house every weekend. It leaves me frazzled and without any alone time for me.
If you knew exactly what you'd be feeling in each of the five scenarios above, good for you. You're in control, so you don't have to read the rest of this article. If the majority of your marks said My Emotions, read on.
One of the good things about marriage is that each individual learns something from the other mate. But because Life Itself is a learning experience, and now you don't have your mate to learn from, you're going to have to be both the Bride and the Groom in your life. If you've got runaway emotions, your Bride has to be bridled, and your Groom has to be groomed!
Get a grip. When you find yourself running helter skelter into emotion land, pull up on the reins and tell yourself "Whoa there girl! Let's put a little bit of logic to work and stop these raging emotions." And that's when you get to use one of your most wonderful virtues, the virtue of reason. Reasoning, or thinking through challenges using logic or facts, is the universal cure for rampaging emotions.
There are at least two sensible ways to exercise your ability to reason: take a class at your local Junior College; find a friend who already uses reason and model yourself after him. It's entirely possible to develop this skill and control so that your children are benefited from their very best example - you - if you will exercise some authority over your emotions!
Both Steve Albright & Len Stauffenger are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.