It is often difficult to preserve control of your natural impulses while others close to us make us angry. It can be still more difficult with the cost of living raising every year and bringing more pressure into our lives, and as if that is not sufficient the legal and political system is regularly putting more stress on us everyday.
Most of us deal with the stressors in life as they come our way, but a few of us cannot and become out of control. Management is frequently the best answer for treating anger; but then, the individual must be ready to admit their actions are leading to more problems and be prepared to obtain a solution.
If a person react violently, verbally abusive, assaulting others and so on, it not only leads to trouble for the person that is out of control, it also causes difficulties for others. Normally when a person has anger issues he or she will attack other people perhaps physically or mentally or even both. The angry person will often attack in a way that belittles, humiliates, harms, or threatens another. This person truly needs to learn to manage his or her anger, because anybody around him or her is affected to a certain amount.
Anger is mainly the inability to restrain our basic impulses, needs and emotions. If a person is out of contact with his emotions, it frequently creates a chaotic mind. Anger is not necessarily a bad thing, when and if a person is threatened; it is always good to have an amount of anger to protect you, but when a person doesn't have any control at all then it will lead to problems.
Anger, sadness, joy and happiness are all parts of our emotions, and when we have those emotions in control we can live a productive life. However, when we begin to target or attack others then it is more and more difficult for us to handle our life and anger.
One clearly recognized example is school bullying, for a few children going to school is a nightmare, each day a bully will antagonize this child pushing him beyond his limit of control. The child may hold his feelings in for a period, but eventually he or she is going to loose control, due to the fact that none of us is prepared to continue permitting someone to make our lives miserable.
Sorry to say, when this child gets to his or her limit and returns the attack on the other youngster, he then becomes the culprit and is frequently punished. The bully could quite often get away with his actions, and once the victim takes action he or she is frequently punished. The school personnel will often say why didn't you tell me what was going on? However, the fact is the child most likely told the personnel and in my experiences, they seldom act. The out come is that now we have two children with anger troubles and more people in trouble. This is merely one of the numerous reasons why a person cultivates anger to the point at which they feel they have to retaliate.
Each time we are angry we feel it in our body and mind. Our body will often tense up if we feel angry. If you feel this tension then it is time to step back and take control. Ask yourself, why am I mad? Why do I feel this way? Asking yourself questions might help you find the answers if you search your mind hard enough.
Generally after a person has developed a level of anger that is out of control, they will frequently strike out at people even if there is no justifiable reason. The person may have just moved something that belonged to that person and they respond by saying something like, you stupid moron, why in the hell did you move my belongings? I cannot believe how stupid you are. Why do you bother breathing? This is completely inappropriate behavior; the angry person may attack physically by kicking, hitting, punching, spitting, or causing other types of harm to the individual. It is vital to get management in play if you have anger problems.
If you cannot control your emotions then one day, someone will control them for you. Anger is great if you have it under control, but when you loose control somebody, someday will pay and that someone in most cases will be you as well as the trail of victims you leave behind you.
Roger Overanout
Of all human feelings, anger is probably the most difficult emotion to restrain. Being able to manage it well is the real mark of an effective person.
So, what are ways to manage anger? Here are some tips:
1.Breathe. Anger is an abstract term used to encapsulate that feeling of rage and passionate displeasure over something, someone, or maybe even yourself. It may feel so overwhelming that you normally seek ways to release it. You imagine yourself bursting into pieces if you fail to do so.
However, simply releasing it and exploding in fury often times result to a mess - leaving a trail of hurt feelings, unkind words, and damaged relations.
There is a better way of releasing anger systematically. Just breathe - inhale and exhale. Fill your brain and body with oxygen, and then count from one to ten. If you have an extremely negative thought about someone, try counting from one to ten until the anger subsides.
2.Never release your anger on persons or objects. This is the usual mistake of people who could not contain what they feel. Never punch someone or pound the mirror for you will only hurt yourself. Do not throw that flower vase! It is made of genuine China porcelain and is expensive. Do not throw your engagement ring! It is a handcrafted heirloom and it belonged to your fianc??s great-grandmother.
The list can go on but the bottom line is this: there is no point of lashing out on people or objects. You will only regret your actions; and there is no sense of accomplishment in having to pay for items that are ruined. The damage has been done and you will only feel deeply remorseful.
3.Refrain from doing anything when you are angry. Rational thinking evades you when you are overwhelmed or engulfed by emotions. In that state of fury, it is almost impossible to be rational about the things you do or say. It is only after you unleashed the anger that you begin to realize the greater damage that has been done, and then you feel regret and sorry afterwards. Even if you do ask for forgiveness, sometimes it is just too late. You have already hurt someone's feelings irreparably.
To prevent complicating things, seek relief from solitude and quietness. Be quiet. Do not curse ? you may be liable for slander, defamation, or verbal abuse. Control yourself.
If you have to say something, make sure it will reap positive results. In one of the training sessions on personal development, one speaker shared this technique: If you feel angry with someone, say to yourself, ?I bless you and wish you well?. This will allow you to transform the situation into something favorable for both parties involved.
4.If you really, really need to express anger, leave and go somewhere else. If you badly need to say something or shout, go some place where no one could hear you. Go to the washroom and shout as loud as you can.
Better yet, release your anger by shouting in front of the mirror. When in front of the mirror, you will realize that anger does not look good on you at all. In some cases, people laugh upon seeing weird, contorted, and funny versions of themselves in the mirror.
5.Evaluate the reason for your anger. When you are already calm, look at the bigger picture. Realize that you may be putting the blame on others, forgetting that you are also accountable for the misunderstanding.
Ask yourself. What caused your anger? What triggered your fury? How did you react? What was the result? What will you do the next time? How can this experience turn you into a better person?
Sometimes, the problem might only be in the way you look at things. Maybe it is time for a change in perspective, after sensing bitterness, pessimism, and skepticism, as this will hamper your capability to establish meaningful relationships with people. Rather than taking this disruptive route, take advantage of the lessons that can be learned from such experience.
Both Roger Overanout & Abbas Abedi are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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