What I really mean by exotic dancing is that I'm a male stripper. And by male stripper, I don't mean one of those Chip-N-Dale fellows. I'm hired to deliver strip-o-grams to ladies in their homes and offices. You know, the gag gift that the secretary pool chips-in on so they can embarrass their frigid friend on her birthday.
For the most part, these jobs are run-of-the-mill encounters that rarely result in drama. The agency calls me with the info and I run through my checklist. I make sure the boom-box has batteries and is queued-up with Bon Jovi's ?Livin? on a Prayer.? Then I don one of my Velcro tear-off costumes. I have a few characters; doctor, cop, UPS and flower delivery guy. I load everything up into my Honda CRX and zip on over to the lucky gal's place and strut my stuff.
Like I said, most of these visits go off without a hitch. The recipient blushes and hides her face while her friends all screech in feigned horror, so proud of themselves for pulling off such hilarity. Well, the other day things didn't go so smoothly and I got into what you may call a ?situation.?
It started as a routine job out in the suburbs. Some friends chipped in to send this girl a strip-o-gram for her birthday, so I packed up and rolled out to the burbs. Now, when a group of girls spend a couple hundred bucks to embarrass their friend, they wanna be there. Curiously, when I arrived there was only one car in the driveway. Since I was wearing my UPS costume and pretending to deliver a package, I went ahead and knocked. A lady looking to be in her 60s answered.
I switched on Bon Jovi and started my routine. It was soon apparent that this lady didn't know what was going on, but I kept dancing. Just when I stripped off my costume I felt a sharp sting in my thigh. Looking down, I saw a blue blotch dripping down my leg. Then another sting, and another'I was being shot with a paint gun! Some crazy man was blasting me with paint pellets and shouting for me to get the hell out of his house.
Realizing that I was at the wrong place, I grabbed my stuff and hit the bricks. As I tore through the rose garden, my tender skin catching every thorn, I felt more welts forming on my bare back. This lunatic was unloading a barrage of paint balls on my posterior. I fumbled for the keys and got my bloody, paint covered butt in the car. I slammed that old Honda in gear and peeled rubber all the way back to the valley.
When I caught my breath, I performed a damage assessment. Except for some nasty abrasions on my nether-regions and 12 gnarly welts covered in blue paint, I was OK. In the heat of the melee I forgot about my car. Luckily, I had just installed some custom seat covers, a velour dash mat and a set of heavy-duty floor mats. The mud I tracked from the rose garden got sopped up by the floor mats, the blue paint on my back and butt was caught by the seat covers and the dash mat padded the blow caused by my boom-box being thrown into the car.
All in all it was a pretty harrowing experience. In the end, my agency contacted the offended party and a little pay-off calmed things down. The lady that was actually scheduled for my visit was sent another dancer and everyone was happy. I simply washed my seat covers and floor mats and got on with my life. I'm still dancing and the old Honda still gets me where I need to go.
Remember when you bought the car that you are driving today. If it was a new car, the outside shined and sparkled like a new diamond ring. Every time you opened the door, that new car smell swirls around your nose. You could see your reflection in the chrome (or chrome plated plastic) and glass from the dashboard and instrument panel. The carpet and seat cushions were clean and spotless. There were no scuff marks on the inside door panels, or on any of the upholstery. You were so proud and protective, that you no one was allowed to drink or eat anything inside your car. You would park, what seemed like miles away from the front of the stores, to avoid possible damage to the outside of your car from other cars or stray shopping carts.
Even if it was not a new car, it was probably cleaned and polished to make it look like it was new. So you still are able to experience that feeling of owning a new car. But a few years have gone by since you bought your car. Now hopefully you have been lucky enough that the outside of the car doesn't look like it has been in a shopping cart demolition derby. But even being extremely protective of your car's interior, just normal wear and tear, will still take a toll on your carpets, seats and other interior parts. The carpets may be worn or stained with the dirt and grime that we all transport with our shoes on a daily basis. The fabric on the seats are stained from food and drinks, that were once not allowed in your new car. The door panels and seats have scuff marks from the heels of shoes. But, it has been a great car and is still a great car, it just doesn't look as great as it once did.
You can make your car's interior look like new again, using a Vinyl and Carpet Dye that comes packaged in an Aerosol Spray Can. You can restore the original color of your car's carpet, on some occasions, it is even possible to change from the original color. (You may be able to go from a light color to a darker color, but never the opposite.) The Vinyl and Carpet Dye can be used on the seat fabrics, headliners, plastic and leather interior parts. Whether you are an experienced auto detailer, car enthusiast, or someone who wants to restore their car's interior themselves, Vinyl and Carpet Dye Sprays will help you achieve your desired results. Several considerations must be addressed in your achieving your desired results. Do you want the color of the Vinyl and Carpet Dye Sprays to match the color exactly or are you just trying to clean them up and make them all uniform in color? Why is this important? If you just want to clean up your car's carpets and make them look more uniform in color, you can go online to Vinyl and Carpet Dye manufacturer's websites and choose a color off of their stock color chart that you think matches your carpet color. Stock colors usually do not have a color matching lab fee like most custom matched colors do.
Clean your carpets of any dirt and grime. Make sure that carpets are completely dry before using the Vinyl and Carpet Dye Sprays on them. First it is advisable to remove a small piece of carpet from an unexposed area of the car and spray it to see what it will look like, before you begin spraying the exposed areas. If you have chosen a good close color match, and the color is acceptable, you can use it on the rest of the carpets. Before spraying, unless you have removed the seats and taken the carpets out of the car completely, you must protect the areas of your interiors that are not to be dyed or painted. This is accomplished by taping off the areas using a good quality tape and with paper such as newspaper. Leave only the areas to be sprayed exposed. The taped off areas will be protected from the overspray of the Vinyl and Carpet Dye Sprays. Before using the product, you must have proper ventilation when using an aerosol product containing paint or dyes. It is advisable to always spray the all of the carpets and that you don't try to spot spray. Spraying all of the carpeted areas, will help to promote uniformity in the carpet's color. After following the Vinyl and Carpet Dye Spray instructions on proper application techniques and if you chose a good color match, your carpets should look like new. Even if it is not the exact color of the original color, it looks good.
However, if you do want an exact color match as the original color of your car's carpets, this to can be achieved. It is just a little more time consuming and costly. You would need to send a sample piece of your carpet from an unexposed area of your car, to a Vinyl and Carpet Dye Spray manufacturer. There usually a color match lab fee for a custom matched color, normally around $50 a color. You should still test the custom matched Vinyl and Carpet Dye spray in an unexposed area of your car to check the color match.
The same considerations should be taken when using the Vinyl and Carpet Dyes on the other parts of the car's interior that needs to be restored. This is not a new product, it has been around for years and is used in many detailing shops, car dealerships and restoration companies.
Always follow the Vinyl and Carpet Dye instructions on proper use, ventilation requirements and other safety warnings.
Both David S. Brooks & Larry R Lewis are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
David S. Brooks has sinced written about articles on various topics from Cars, Brakes and Trucks. Whether you're an exotic dancer or an average commuter, a whole slew of can be found to protect your little car from mishaps suc. David S. Brooks's top article generates over 12100 views. to your Favourites.
Larry R Lewis has sinced written about articles on various topics from Cars, Interior Design and Home Improvement. Larry R Lewis, co-founder of Custom Finishes, Inc. () since 1984. Custom Finishes, Inc. manufactures custom matched, aerosol spray paints. Larry R Lewis's top article generates over 12100 views. to your Favourites.