We all have our own concept of love. Love might mean different things to different people. To some love is care, to some it is concern and to some others it is compassion and so on. Whatever ideas one might have about love, you will agree that to be able to love someone we should be able to devote our energy and time to those we love. It is more so in a marriage. In a marriage relationship, love is solace, kindness, tenderness and so many other nice feelings.

For all we know, there's no one can get married without love in 21st century. Surely, without love, a marriage relationship would be colorless and tasteless. Being with a person without love, you would not know what your life is aiming for and whom you are living for. Moreover, you should learn how to love yourself before trying to develop a capability to love.

How does self-love help a marriage? When you love yourself and your partner, you tend to change your attitudes and approach. There are certain abilities involved in the love you extend to your partner: You would listen to him without judgment, you would recognize his emotions and needs, you would freely express your feelings without fear or reservation, you would take his criticisms in constructive ways, you would give him freedom to think and act in ways that does not harm your relationship in anyway.

When you are capable of showing the above qualities, a sense of deep intimacy is achieved between you and your husband. You might have conflicts, because no two people can live without differences. But these qualities will make both of you deal with conflicts in positive ways. You would handle your conflicts in a healthy way where you do not forego your own needs. This kind of freedom will build a stronger bond between the two of you. In fact conflicts make your relationship stronger than breaking it.

How do you build your capability to love your spouse? To love your spouse in healthy ways, you can do the following:

1. Treat your spouse like the way you treat yourself.

2.Do not be disturbed by differences.

3.Accept the way he acts and what he is, since he is a product of his life circumstances just like you.

4.Respect each other.

5.In spite of differences of opinion just learn to agree to disagree.

6.Do not try to snatch his freedom.

7.In case he disagrees, let it be. Don't try to fight against and hurt your relationship.

8.Do not be demand for his attention or love. This is hard because his love and attention means a lot to you. But love never comes on demand. Instead, be patient and loving and you will be returned with love.

9.There may be occasions in life when you may do things for him just because you love him. But that only adds strength to your bonding.

Marriage requires love, care, concern equality and compromise in all matters. It works only when both the partners work at their relationship as a team.