In martial arts, for example, whether you are sparring for practice or in a tournament, you do not want your opponent to win. Even if the person across the mat from you is your best friend or your brother or sister, you still don't want them to beat you. There's nothing wrong with this attitude because the need to win is human nature, for both men and women, and it's what drives people to do their best.
But let's be clear -- winning doesn't mean breaking even. If you are an avid gambler you would not consider yourself a winner if you went to Las Vegas and played blackjack with $100 for three hours and left the table with $100. If your hockey or soccer team ends an important game in a tie do you consider it a win? Martial artists play to win and so do you.
Contracts are signed with each party's own interests in mind. Leading up to the contract is the negotiation, and the winning attitude must start there. This is not to say that the opposing party does not get what she wants out of a deal as well, but an experienced negotiator lets her have it on his own terms. The mark of a master negotiator is to walk away from the table with what he came for while letting the other party feel she got a good deal as well. Now that's skill.
Win-win suggests a tie wherein you, in the best case scenario, end up with a dissatisfying compromise. On the other hand, win big/win small means getting what you came for while still making sure the other party's needs are met as well. You will always get the best deal in bargaining if you follow more of a win big/win small philosophy.
When you truly win, it means you got all of your needs met and obtained as many of your wants as possible. You must recognize the difference between wants and needs and how to keep them at the forefront of your mind.
Too many people feel guilty if they win big by obtaining more of what they want from a deal than the opposite party seems to. Don't fall into that trap. They aren't going to agree to any deal where you are the only one to benefit. For all you know, they may be going through a divorce, job transfer, illness, need cash, have tax problems, or some other situation that you are helping them to resolve.
Bargain with your own interests in mind and assume the other party will do the same. A family had some large, unused items cluttering up their garage so they asked a hauling company to come over to give them an estimate. After looking at the freezer, file cabinets, and other assorted pieces of furniture the company quoted $200. The family told them they would have to think about it and reminded them that if they had to come back, it would cost them time and money for gas. At that point, the haulers offered to drop the price down to $175. The family stalled, suggesting that they might call in a non-profit group who would gladly accept the items and take them away for free. After a little more back and forth they eventually settled for $110. The family was prepared to pay at least $150 ? the minimum cost of having to do the job themselves -- so they won big. On the other hand, the hauling company still got $110 which, for them, meant they won a little as well. Certainly this was not a win-win but more of a win big-win small result.
To win big you must see an opening and go for it without hesitation. If a martial artist is going to break a brick with his hand he cannot hesitate or he is more likely to break his wrist than the brick. If you are selling a house and are still thinking of all of the fond memories it contains you will not get the best deal because your emotions will make you hesitate. It's probably better to wait until your focus is on your next house before putting this one on the market.
Believe it or not, many people negotiate with the intention to fail. Watch the words you say or think when a negotiating opportunity arises. If you hear yourself using such phrases as, "I'll try" or "I'll do my best" you are defeated before you even begin. These words say that you are playing to lose because you're giving an excuse for not winning. Instead, replace defeatist scripts with such phrases as, "When I win?" or "When I get the best deal?"
The principle here is "Always negotiate for the best deal you can for your side. Do not be concerned about fairness as long as the other party can protect his own interests." Start out with the intention of getting the best deal you can and you will.
Copyright (c) 2007 Michael Soon Lee
The main business mantra over the centuries has been 'The customer is Number One'. The next major shift in organisational management will be realising that any organisations number one customer should in fact be their employees. In fact recent research suggests that engagement of employee talent is the number one factor identified by CEO's in achieving success in the future. Similarly 90% of organisations are dealing with this employee issue at board level, because it is now such a critical matter for their survival. The reason being, if you look after your employees and engage and retain your best talent, then they will be in a better position to look after your end customers. Doing this companies are rewarded for their efforts by reduced staff turnover, improved productivity, commitment, morale, culture and customer satisfaction ratings. However, the majority of Australian companies continue to treat the serious issue of balancing competing work pressures and employees' personal life needs with a 'band-aid' effect by offering more benefits or 'perks' to win their loyalty. Despite the rhetoric of work life policies and self-imposed badges of 'employer of choice', the actions of many Australian corporations translate to gym memberships, lunchtime massages and volunteering programs. These benefits may be generous and well regarded by some employees, but they similarly may alienate others with unaligned personal interests. True work life balance is achieved when employees have greater clarity around what is important to them. Through company sponsored Self-Leadership programs employees are then organisationally empowered to support work life balance culturally, thus creating a personal and corporate win - win relationship. Innovative companies are sponsoring Self-Leadership programs so that individuals can take responsibility and make the tough decisions around work life balance, job fulfillment and personal financial management themselves, rather than look to employers to always provide solutions. Employee engagement may be one of the hottest management 'buzz phrases' at the moment, but the underlying social issue which created this concept remains valid: Australians are working harder and longer than at any other time in our industrial history and want to get back some personal balance and control of their life. We are in a generation of over-consumption and materialism which has further fueled the over-work epidemic. Our lifestyle expectations have escalated so rapidly in the past two decades that working harder and longer is seen as the only way to live the standard of life we desire. Yet research confirms that despite longer working hours and greater income levels, we are less happy than previous generations. But the backlash against excess has started and the ground swell is expected to gather momentum.
Both Michael Soon Lee & Ian Hutchinson are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Michael Soon Lee has sinced written about articles on various topics from Stress Management, Self Improvement and Motivation. Michael Soon Lee, MBA, is the author of the new book "Black Belt Negotiating" (AMACOM Books, 2007), a world class negotiator and martial artist. He has bargained on everything from major real estate purchases to discounts on gas for his car. Michael shows. Michael Soon Lee's top article generates over 1900 views. to your Favourites.
Ian Hutchinson has sinced written about articles on various topics from Self Improvement and Motivation, Treadmill Exercises. Ian Hutchinson is founder and Chief Engagement Officer of , specialists in. Ian Hutchinson's top article generates over 1300 views. to your Favourites.