There are many reasons why women flake out, some legitimate, most not so legitimate. And many of them flake to test you to see how you're going to respond. Flaking is one thing I just will not tolerate, but I used to have a big problem with it until I discovered how to put an end to it for good.

What I'm going to do is share an email from a subscriber who's having issues with this, then let you know how to handle it

Hey King…

In the beginning I'm very successful at getting women to laugh, I bust on them and show that I'm very confident and women love that. The problem I'm having is after I get the girls number I'll call and have a great conversation. I talk a lot with them on the phone and they tell me that they want to see me.

But I set up a date and something always comes up, and they leave off with something like call me tomorrow and I call and then they don't call back and I end up losing contact. I'm not sure but I think that they're testing me to see if I will be submissive to there behavior because I usually tell them it doesn't matter and maybe well get together later. Maybe I should be more arrogant and tell them I see that this isn't working and tell them I not going to put up with it.

I don't know but this is the only problem that I'm having and it needs to get fixed what do you think I should do? I also have good communication with them till they cancel and then it fails after they cancel.

Thanks
Brett

JA: Thanks for the email, Brett—I used to have the same problem myself. Your answer is actually in your question—you “talk a lot with them on the phone.” If you're talking with them on the phone, you're not building mystery and intrigue. There's no reason for them to want to meet you—you've already told them all about yourself.

You're trying to do too much on the phone. Your only purpose when you call them is to get them to agree to meet you in person, and then set it up so they don't flake. That's it.

When you call them, briefly get them laughing, then get them on the subject of things they hate. They'll tell you something, then ask you what you hate (this is reciprocity). Here's what you tell them: “I hate rude people, don't you?” She'll say yes—all women say they can't stand rudeness.

Then tell her this: “you know, what I really hate is when someone makes a commitment to be somewhere at a particular time, and then they flake out. To me, the rudest thing a person can do is abuse another's time. Don't you agree?” She'll agree.

Then briefly move onto to another theme (letting her do most of the talking), then end the conversation (you should end it first, not her). Set up a meeting, and once you have the date and time, say this: “Great, I'll see you at at . Can I count on you to be there—you're not one of those rude people are you?” When done correctly, this is magic. If they flake, then they'll be admitting they're rude and flaky, something no one wants to be known as.

If she says to “call her and see if she's busy” you need to immediately put your foot down and tell her that you don't do “maybe meetings” and that if she can't come up with a firm date then perhaps you shouldn't meet. Be firm, not rude.

There's one other way around all this, and believe it or not, it's the best solution. When you first meet her, instead of asking for her phone number (a bad thing to do, anyways) simply set up a meeting right then. Then exchange “contact information,” but do NOT say you'll call to confirm.

You expect her to keep her word to show up. Many times what happens is, she'll call to confirm (a good sign), and all you have to do is say, “Yep, I'll be there—I do what I say. See you there.” Do NOT talk yourself out of a meeting by blathering on.

If you put these secrets to work for you, Brett, you'll see your “flaking rate” drop to near zero, and you'll quickly get a reputation as a guy who's “good with women.”