Exactly what issues need to be addressed? Do you have one specific issue in mind? Usually each of us has a need to become a lot clearer about what we want. This is true for all things, from things that are useful to avoiding sore, difficult or awkward feelings. The puzzle is to be able to get clarity and then to find the solutions to issues that trouble us. The 7 Words System offers a clear-cut instinctive sense of what is right that permits us to achieve a greatly improved feeling of what precisely we are looking for. This kicks off with the word No. At first we need name accurately what it is that actually we don't want, what is not useful, before we can know what we do want.
Conflict Management vs Conflict Resolution: HELLO is about openness and exchange.
What can you learn from others? Are you ready to make changes in your situation and way of doing things? The following phase connects to the word Hello. We need to make ourselves open to new possibilities if we have a desire to develop our breadth of solutions to the troubles that life throws up. Is that reasonably logical? To get something different we will need to broaden our horizons and look where we have not previously looked previously. New dreams, new contacts , new situations and new things are all facets of giving attention to something we have not previously faced. It requires that we replace old for new, that we have something to offer in adequate return for what we want to get.
Conflict Management vs Conflict Resolution: THANK YOU is about appreciating and valuing.
Always there is good to be found in the qualities of a person. How well are you expressing your appreciation? Among all open options, some are more desirable than others and we feel we want to treat them as having a greater significance, because we appreciate them more. This is explained by the primary word Thanks. Time and again, we forget the worth of what we have, then blindly move into ungratefulness and are likely to take things for granted. It's more than simply good manners to display our appreciation for things we attach importance to; it has an important part to play in helping us to accomplish our objectives . Unconsciously, we are pulled to what we convey gratitude for, and yet it's equally accurate to say that we are able to magnetize them to us too. We improve our charisma when we say Thanks and therefore, when we do so, we smoothly bring things to come to us.
Conflict Management vs Conflict Resolution: GOODBYE is about realization, decision, completion, and moving on.
Whichever way you go, from now on life has changed and will be forever different. Goodbye is one of the seven primary words and relates to a progression that has four steps. They are: realization, decision, completion and moving on. Goodbye is being said to a possible stage of change, and therefore is seen plainly as absolute dismissal of a workable path of action that we had been progressing towards and in future will not pursue. It is a crossroad point in our selection of potential futures. Goodbye is different from No in that it is clear that we have had connection already, which now needs to end contrasted with No's refusal to become involved in the first place. Sincere decisions cut the past away entirely and that penetrating quality gives rise to an opportunity that otherwise does not happen.
Conflict Management vs Conflict Resolution: PLEASE is about intention and cooperation.
How do you cooperate to find harmony? You do have a vision of a successful resolution? The future unfolds according to the things considered normal of what has gone before unless we take control of it and bend it to our will. This forces us to have a vision of how we want it to be; this vision has to be very clear, unambiguous and positive transformed into intention. They differ don't they - vision and intention? The first is to some extent illusory and the second is much more directed and willful. For a vision to become real there must be cooperation. Nothing can be done without winning the support of others - this takes expertise, doubtless arguments, even stimulation. It is not always obligatory to offer something such as money or money's worth.
Conflict Management vs Conflict Resolution: SORRY is about responsibility, remorse, repair and release.
Do you need to take responsibility and feel genuine remorse for your part in any conflicts and tensions that occur? Sorry, the sixth word, is best seen as repairing harm done because we've been inattentive or unmindful to the needs or wants of someone else. The best strategy is to make sure we avoid the need to say it by being considerate beforehand. Why? Well it's because anyone we upset may well act against our better purposes and lower our odds of achievement of our goals, so it is simply more sensible to respect others as well as ourselves. It is all about being responsible, having some feelings towards someone whom we've upset and making compensation when we've gone astray . Only then is it feasible to forestall or repair bitterness and release the everlasting unpleasantness that otherwise would strengthen and worsen.
Conflict Management vs Conflict Resolution: YES is about accepting and surrender.
Not every path is workable, that's the whole point of our being creative individuals...are you truly trying to find a way that works for all concerned? The last phase of our 7 Words structure relates with acceptance; there are times when we simply have to endure what we cannot change. The word is Yes. It would be lovely wouldn't it if we were able to make the world exactly the way we envision it - but in reality we can't. We always need to take what comes, and to take what is not exactly what we asked for.
The paramount technique is to have conviction that everything in the end turns around to our advantage, that the modifications to our plans are all improvements when considered in the perspective of the longer term. Without doubt it's not easy to see it when we are still close and attached to our desires of course not! Still hold your fire and you will see that the unanticipated occurrences, the surprises and defeats are actually the best bits veiled as misfortune.
James Burgess 2008
Whenever you work with people, conflict is inevitable. The tension created by daily conflict either results in wasted time, decreased productivity, and poor decisions or the sort of internal competition that pushes each individual to do their best, if for no other reason that convince their coworkers that they can do it.
This inevitable conflict is either destructive or creative. The destructive conflict is toxic to relationships and hurts people and organizations and this is the one that needs managing. In my experience creative conflict seems to be cultural in nature. It's how the people themselves react and address each other and the situations they face together.
If you've ever seen "American Chopper" on the Discovery Channel you know what I mean by creative conflict. There is a lot of yelling going on. These guys are not shy about sharing their opinions when they disagree with one another. If you were a stranger who walked into their shop you might think WWIII had broken out.
In fact, that is how they relate to one another - there is no ambiguity, they tell it like it is in the moment. Imagine how much more they accomplish because they use the tension to air their different opinions, right now - and then get on with it. It's possible that this is just a TV show and these guys have nice quiet meetings in the board room, listening to various committee reports, before the speak up, but that's not likely. I bet they are who we see them as being.
In three decades working with family businesses I have seen dozens and dozens of companies who harness conflict creatively, and in so doing get the most out of everyone as well as optimum results overall. They don't waste time on what's not working just because it was the bosses idea. They stop what they're doing and point out the other person's mistake then show them how to fix it. Nothing and no one or their opinion is sacred - it's all about getting the job done.
Sadly I have seen experts try to get them to change their behavior, be more polite to one another and offer more politically correct input in an ever more constructive manner. In other words they (the experts) want other people to be more like them.
So instead of helping their clients manage the destructive conflict that exists, they are offering suggestions on how to fix what isn't broken.
I am talking about the conflict that distracts employees and managers from otherwise productive use of their time. Studies reveal that up to 30% of a typical managers time is spent dealing with conflict. And that 42 percent of their time is spent reaching agreements with others when conflicts occur.
Sometimes destructive conflict is simply because the people don't like each other. In the universe of family owned companies sometimes brothers, sisters, cousins, and in-laws are thrown together in ways none of them like. Conflict is the only way they have of displaying the frustration they feel about the situation they're in.
It is no wonder that an estimated 65% of performance problems result from strained relationships like these. Between employees who are not happy with each other - not from deficits in their training, skill, or motivation.
The most common way that destructive conflict shows up is about "how" a certain task should be accomplished. I met a farmer once whose son (age 50) refused to do things the way he wanted them done. He sited an example by driving me on the back of his four wheeler (you could not get there any other way) to a field that illustrated his point.
He and his father before him had always plowed the field north to south - his son was plowing it east to west. I am not making this up. It didn't have anything to do with soil erosion, conservation, or the environment - he was doing it this way against his dad's wishes, just to get his goat. And it was working.
I bet you can think of things at your company that are being done a certain way because that's the way they've always been done. And if you're the one who wants to change history, good luck!
Destructive conflict about how things are being done, what things are being done, and whether or not a certain thing should even be done can paralyze the organization.
Wasted time arguing about things that don't matter, an unwillingness to consider another person's point of view based on their experience, and the blame game when the results are in all cry out for a self-help process you can use to manage your differences so that all conflict is creative.
The end result of a successful self-help mediation process is that you (as a group) turn together and focus on the challenge or opportunity you all face. You see the problem as the stumbling block and not your coworker.
Self-help mediation tools allow two individuals the opportunity to discuss their assumptions about the other person's motives. In many conflicts the simple process of testing these assumptions face to face using active listening skills will resolve the issue entirely, because the parties realize the conflict is simply a misunderstanding.
Self-help mediation tools pave the way for more effective decision making. Obviously decisions made under conditions of conflict are going to be inferior to decisions made when cooperation prevails. If ongoing conflict (even a low grade resistance to cooperation) is present between people who share decision-making authority, the resulting decisions are likely to be flawed by the power struggles between those people.
As business owners we know that good decisions must be based on an optimum quality and quantity of objective information. So when information is withheld or distorted by those we are depending on to provide it, the decision cannot be the best one possible.
There is now doubt, workplace conflict resolution strategies - especially those that will allow you to do it yourself - will save you money, time, energy, and enhance your workplace by helping you make better decisions, retain your best employees, and design a future course for the business everyone will actively support!
Both James Burgess & Wayne Messick are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
James Burgess has sinced written about articles on various topics from Mothers Day, Alternative Medicine and Culture and Society. Free Questionnaires and Mini Courses are available on the 7 Words website () where you receive free text about your special interests in 7 Words (. James Burgess's top article generates over 18100 views. to your Favourites.
Wayne Messick has sinced written about articles on various topics from Employment, Education Toys and Marketing. Wayne Messick's web site has and resources to help you grow your business. If you are a small busi. Wayne Messick's top article generates over 12100 views. to your Favourites.