You do not understand how it is "you" that is creating your own reflection in life. So you wish for something from outside of yourself to relieve you of it all. Someone comes along and offers you "golden balls" that is going to magically dissolve the very thing that you get up to without awareness.

You can certainly receive "siddhi" - juice, power - from outside of yourself but this juice cannot relieve you of your own daily activity.

You can meditate and go "inside" and hope for some revelation to relieve you of your own pain, but alas, this is not going to do it for you either.

Internally "out there" or externally "out there" is not going to have you standing freely in the reality of who you already are. Going "within" means aligning your focus of attention to that which already is. And it is flowing through who you think you are. It is flowing through your mindbody. Without it your mindbody would not even be.

Going "within" means getting in touch with who you already are - your "areness," your "amness." that which is already flowing through your mindbody - who you think you are.

It is this "motion of seeing" that is flowing through your very eyes right now - this very thing that you keep on failing to recognise. Recognise means to know again.

You already know who you are but you have turned your back on it for so long that it appears that you know it not.

Who you are is this "motion of aliveness" that is flowing through your eyes right now. Aligning your focus of attention to this very "seeing" and coming to rest as this very "aliveness" has you standing free of who you think you are.

It is through the practise of this "seeing" that you begin the journey of self discovery. The mindbody begins to unravel from falsehood. You begin to have moments of standing clearly as who you already are.