We all know the situation, it happens on the TV News every night. The person who's just been flooded out; or seen their house disappear off the end of a cliff or been burnt to the ground; or had a child kidnapped or ransomed; is asked by the interviewer with the intrusive microphone: "How do you feel?" In England, and America, we are all expecting the usual result. They will be brave. Despite being frightened, angry, lost, ignored or assaulted, we anticipate that they will gulp, take a deep breath and tell us how things will be better in the morning; they will pick themselves up, dust themselves off and start all over again; they will soldier on, and it isn't the end. No matter what the disaster, for some reason we expect people in the West to be universally brave and looking forward in a positive way. After years of having it drummed into them, losers, victims and worse are always expected to 'think positive'. Why? What comfort can you derive from a hurricane, a forest fire or a plane crash? Okay, it's true, they might feel better after a good night's sleep, but can't they be allowed to shriek, shout and complain - just the once?
Perhaps the reason that such 'positive thinking' is being fostered in schools, home and in numerous self-help books, is that it doesn't come naturally to many in the population. How many times have you had the experience of hearing a colleague is due for promotion, only to ask them and they dolefully reply, 'I suppose it means more responsibility, more work, longer hours'. But you'll get more money, you say. 'I'll be paying more taxes', they say, or 'Well, it might help but it won't pay off my credit card'. Sound familiar? Yes, 'negative thinking' comes naturally to lots of people, and if thermostat hadn't been so resolutely switched to 'positive' by years of harsh training and exhortation, it might be the natural state for most of us.
It's false, says Oliver James, the psychiatrist, in his new book 'Affluenza'. Worse, it's certainly not natural. In other parts of the world, such as China, it is quite usual to see the bad side of events, and, he suggests, thanks to Confucianism, quite okay to see both the positive and negative in everything - Yin and Yang, and all that. Contrary to Western expectations, it doesn't make people down and defeated. Quite the contrary, it simply means that these people are a little more realistic about life, and can recover from setbacks more easily, knowing that neither bad or good is more prevalent, and a tragedy today is no indicator that tomorrow will be the same or worse. Sunshine and showers, it's all good, all part of the fabric of life, and putting on 'rose coloured glasses' doesn't make the world a better place, or even make it easier to bear.
If there's a role for stressing the positive, says James, it's not in thinking but in planning. If you want to plan your future, then it helps to imagine that things will generally come out better than they are today, and may even be a lot better. That doesn't mean lose yourself in unreality, or fail to appreciate when things go wrong. But it's a pre-requisite of believing that such things are worthwhile, to want to look forward and put ideas together for building that vision. In other words, don't bother with 'positive thinking', you don't need it. Just stick to 'positive planning', and it will get you where you want to go.
That, he concludes, will be a big weight off your mind. Instead of bravely smiling through, putting a positive gloss on everything that happens, good or bad, you can focus on what you want and put your efforts into making it happen rather than interpreting reality in only a positive light. After all, he says, that's the ultimate measure anyway, isn't it? If you're determined and set on a path to great wealth, fame, fortune, or any of the other things that people in the West hanker after, the real test is in the bank account, the size of your house or car. It won't do to have a smaller car but be 'thinking positively' about it. At the end of the day, it isn't the thinking that's important at all. It's the action, and anything that moves you forward towards your goal is good, in fact 'positive'. That doesn't mean that 'negative' is bad, of course, in action terms, because your path may very well be a cross-country course, with hurdles, walls and hedges to clamber over, hills to climb and streams to ford. To get there, you need to stretch and make the effort, but above all, know that you've got a plan to reach the finish line. It's that 'positive plan' that helps you reach your goal, not the time and effort invested in 'positive thinking' along the way.
For centuries, the Hindus have practiced yoga and meditation, which is how they got their famous wisdom. Success is not about powers of education or skill; it's all about mastering control of yourself and your mind; positive thinking! You need to guide yourself into facing life and facing problems that arise with your own vision. Inner strength and peace, a combination if achieved will be your key to winning every life challenge.
See, this is the trick, to see every problem as a challenge. You have to decide inside yourself that you will walk over every stone to get to a better place. This is the golden rule of positive thinking. Simply move forward, using every force in your life. You need to look at your previous life and remind yourself of your achievements. Highlight all your turning points where you had to make leading decisions. Even though you might have taken those decisions subconsciously, but they provide you with an inspiration and proof of how your subconscious mind can lead you into success. It's a sign of having natural positive thinking in your mind that will get you out of a crisis.
You need to be focused on what your goal is. Albert Einstein quoted, "The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once" So set up an action plan to help you with your goal setting. Positive thinking about what you really want now and what you wished for before will help. As you organize your day to day events, be prepared to keep tripping over. That is when you should smile and even laugh at yourself. A simple application of the law of attraction, where the world gives you back what you send out, not making out if desired or not. Positive thinking of the notch you just fell into will turn it to a life experience giving you more knowledge and wisdom to never fall into it again.
In such cases, positive thinking will only be induced if you are surrounded by positive people. Someone who has just come out of a divorce should not hang out with recently divorced people. They lack self confidence and would only draw away from you more of it. Therefore associate with optimistic people who will grant you a chance to relax and enjoy. Positive thinking is contagious so keep close to such thinkers!
To add to your happiness you need to think of the lucky moments in your life; another way of positive thinking and applying the law of attraction. The more you think of the lucky things that happened in your life, the luckier you get. You'd be most fortunate if you're thankful to all the blessing you have in your life. You need to throw away your worries and have faith that those lucky moments will keep happening. Feel the happiness in your future, and smell the scent of it. Don't be surprised when you run into it around the corner. Positive thinking is like having a genie that makes your wishes come true.
So how do you get yourself out of your current bad mood to start your positive thinking wheel running? Just knowing that you are in a bad mood is the key. Walking out of this dark area needs a strong decision, and a friend to walk you out. Wanting to be alone is more negative than positive thinking. If it's hard to find a friend, then you have to get it out on paper. Tell an imaginary friend about the reason you're depressed. At the end, you have to highlight the source that's been giving you negativity. What next? Eliminate that source at once. So if something worries you, get it over with, and if it's something you cannot change, learn to accept it.
If you know what makes you happy most, I'd say you cling to it tight. This applies to work, home, relationships and your everyday life. A positive thinking about your career, might make you flip it over at several points of your life, when your needs naturally change. I personally switched between medicine, marketing and writing, one after the other. Even though my goal setting didn't include changing careers, but I was content with what I did every time.
It's not just a long term thing, but also on day to day terms. Use your positive thinking in everything you do, and choose to do what you love. Take a break and play that computer game you can't resist. Invite some friends over for a long forgotten gossip. Get liberated from feelings of liability. In the end, your subconscious mind should keep repeating, "I am whatever it takes, I will succeed!" This in turn invokes the law of attraction and moves you towards attaining your goals.
Both Mike Scantlebury & Stephen Campbell are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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