I was talking with Lynn yesterday, she's a friend of mine who's a psychologist and we were discussing a mutual friend of ours who always seems to be in one dilemma after another. I started out saying how sad it made me feel when I thought about all her problems and Lynn told me I was foolish. I was a bit taken aback at first because I thought she was cold and heartless and then she said something I hope I always remember ? these 17 words she told me?

?For things to change, you must get a picture of what you want them to change to.?

I let the words sink in for a few minutes and then realized how right she was. Our friend focuses all the time on what has happened to her, she's always a victim because she can only see herself as a victim. So I thought about those 17 words in the context of dating and relationships and I think she might be on to something there too. If you see yourself as single and dateless, why not try changing your focus. See yourself as someone desirable who hasn't found the right one.. yet!