Divorce Disputes

Disagreement among couples leads them to file a divorce but most of them agree on one thing - a peaceful separation. They don't want to fight a battle in the courtroom accusing each other of misconduct and quarrelling over child custody and property. Most of them are determined to avoid a bitter clash that they have seen their friends and relatives endure.

The main causes for such conflicts are:

• Pension - It is the biggest area of dispute. The reason for dispute is post retirement, a regular source of income is guaranteed.


• Division of spoils ? To share what one has earned pinches one and all. Everybody wants to have the maximum share. This results in claims and counter claims from both the parties.


• Another issue is division of marital assets - Who gets what from the division of existing property often leads to bitter quarrels being fought in the courtrooms. Women are given special consideration in the U.K. in this regard. She can claim not only the entire asset that her husband has brought to marriage, but also his future earnings. The husbands are also supposed to support them throughout their lives.


• Child custody ? The most common courtroom chaos that one gets to witness is claim for custody of children by both the parents.

In spite of knowing the consequences, there are couples who end up in a courtroom. They quarrel over petty issues like who had paid for what and who owns what. They entrench themselves in the war of attrition and at the end, each one is left with the bitter feeling of being cheated and guilt.

Divorce and Attorneys

Often couples turn vulnerable and they turn towards the solicitor's office for claims and counter claims. They end up with scars not from the divorce but from the way they obtain the divorce. The money they spend on the solicitor could have been brought to a good use.

Divorce attorneys are a different breed from regular attorneys and their sole aim remains to make money out of someone's misery. They do not care a bit about the problems that couples are facing. They treat the divorcing couples as money making machines. Lawyers are driving people to the costly courtroom wars, away from the cheap mediators, to boost their fees.

Many couples could have settled their divorce cases with lesser expense and lesser animosity if they would have opted for an out of the court settlement through mediation.

It is a regulation in the U.K. that all the solicitors have to advise for mediation first, in case couples approach them for a divorce. But most solicitors advise adversely in fear of their ?fat- cat? share going down the drain. Report states that divorce cases consume almost ?328 million every year. The reports also state that the solicitors deliberately lengthen the divorce cases and fuel differences among couples to maximise their fees.

Divorce is the most personal horrible episode that a person undergoes in his or her lifetime. In case of a messy divorce, when the petitioners go in for a court settlement, they have to dry their dirty linen in public. The courtroom scenes turn nasty when the couples start accusing each other for what each one has suffered because of the other. With the temperature mounting, the tempers break lose and outrageous accusations start flowing. All the personal episodes are revealed and things are no more private.

Messy Divorces - The Last Word

The answer for all this is collaborative procedure for the divorce. This process is used to resolve all kinds of issues ranging from child custody to division of property.

It is a hard fact that both the parties end up losing in a divorce and children stand to lose the most. During break-up, things may seem unfair, but ending it in a messy way has far greater impact than losing what was due to them. Anger is definitely not the solution in a divorce and especially if you have children.