The threat was imminent: Michael Bay, not one of the better-liked directors in Hollywood,
was helming the Transformers movie. His designs for the beloved characters were
quite the departure. The game, of course, is a rushed cash-in. The Internet has
been screaming about the movie since it was announced, which means every fan who
knows the universal greeting is going to be filing into theaters this week to see
just how bad the film is. Surprisingly though, after seeing the film last night,
Michael Bay might not have spit in the face of your childhood after all.


Our film begins in the Middle East, and we find out quickly that one of our boys
has a baby back home. That's never a good sign. Soon the base is attacked by a phantom
helicopter that has the markings of an Air Force MH-53 Pave Low that was believed
to have been shot down, and in the ensuing firefight the giant robot tries to break
into the government's computers. Clearly, the alien threat is looking for something.


Back in suburbia, a teenager named Sam Witwicky is buying his first car to impress
a girl way out of his league, and after an amusing scene with Bernie Mac he has
in his possession a beat-down yellow Camaro with a hanging bee air freshener that
says "Bee-Otch." The car just happens to drive itself and provide background music
to impress said girl. You see, this boy had a grandfather who made an amazing discovery
years ago, and one of his artifacts has some very important information on it: information
that could turn the tide of a very old war between two sets of very large transforming
robots.


When Sam is attacked by a menacing cop car by the name of Barricade and is saved
by Bumblebee in his true form, he finds out that he's firmly in the middle of a
brutal conflict that could destroy the planet. Bumblebee calls in the reinforcements,
and we're introduced to the rest of the Autobots, including a gorgeously animated
Optimus Prime who is again played by the incomparable Peter Cullen. If you have
fond memories of the character, they won't be ruined here.


The movie switches between very vicious-looking battle scenes (watch for the showdown
between Optimus Prime and Bone Crusher on the highway; it drew cheers from my audience)
and some funny scenes with the human characters. The government stuff can be a little
tiresome, and a menacing but apparently bumbling branch of the government called
Sector 7 does very little except pad the running time. But the second you begin
to get bored, there's another piece of fan service and a giant fight to pull you
right back in.


The bar has been raised for special effects here: the Autobots and Decepticons feel
heavy and absolutely real in every frame they're in. There are long, lingering shots
of the models in full light, and I couldn't find a CGI character that pulled me
out of the movie or made me think I was seeing something that wasn't actually there.
This isn't only a special effects film though: it's safe to say the careers of Shia
LaBeouf and Josh Duhamel have been made by this movie, as they both provide exactly
the film needs with expert, precise performances.


On a side note, I definitely could have done without some of the easy potshots at
Bush and some of the more political humor; it will only anger right-leaning audience
members without adding anything to the movie.


There are cheesy moments, and the film could have used a firmer editor, but for
fans of the original cartoon it's pure bliss. There are too many great scenes and
surprises to ruin here, so I'll leave the specifics out, but I will say that Michael
Bay has delivered a film that stays true to the source material while updating the
franchise for a modern audience. The tech-geeks in the audience will be driven crazy
by some of the "hacking" scenes, and that's a testament to how good the movie really
is. When you can forgive the giant alien robots and accept them as real and focus
on the terrible use of computers in the movie, they've done something right. The
scenes with the Autobots rolling down the highway in vehicle mode look great, and
while the Decepticons don't have a lot of character development, StarScream does
great in every scene he's in, including a breathtakingly-shot dogfight with a group
of F-22 Raptors.


This is a must see if you're in the mood for a strong, loud movie. Fans of the Transformers
and newcomers alike are going to have a lot of fun. So don't wait and just go and