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by Sajjad, Saj

My beloved brother came to me so depressed. Itried very hard to help him and to comprehend the source of his depression andmisery. I have often felt his pain with my experience in marital relationships.My brother is a newlywed. He worries about his failure to solve his maritalproblems and daily clashes with his wife. I felt his pain as well as hiswife's. Neither of them had the chance to fully understand how to be a husbandor wife. I told him that Allah SW has made us in constant need, with our physical,emotional and financial needs. However, the emotional needs are the mostimportant of these. Allah SW says in the holy Quran it is He (SWT), "Whoprovides them with food against hunger and with security against fear (ofdanger)."

Fulfilling these emotional needs is very important to the establishment of astable martial life and family. These needs include:

The Need For Love
This is by far the most important type of need. Unfortunately, couples have atendency overlook it. The need for love in its general meaning is vital for thecontinuation of the marital life. Therefore, couples should renew their lovecontinuously. The following are some of the methods that nurture love betweenhusbands and wives:

Do notmake comparisons between the engagement period and the marriage. It is justunfair. Both have their own conditions. Couples frequently worry about theabsence in their marriage of the intense emotions they felt during engagement.They forget that these feelings mature into other types of love and expressthemselves in much more mature ways.

Do not surrender to life's problems and burdens. Marital life can get complicated, especially when children enter the picture. Couples feel the real everyday pressures of caring for their children, their homes and their spouses. It is easy to become overwhelmed and forget to smile or laugh.
Do not use other couples as the standard for yourselves. Husbands and wives should absolutely refrain from making any comparisons with other couples. For instance, the husband must not tell his wife so and so is better than you, nor could she tell him so and so is better than you. It offends him or her. And it is not always the case that the other couples situation is what it appears.
Be forgiving of each other's shortcomings. Couples should look past minor failings and concentrate instead on the positive. The focus should be on good deeds and the encouragement of anything that promotes harmony, respect and love.
Simplicity. Life is already complicated enough. Couples should work to simplify it for one another. The home should be a sanctuary from the stresses of life. The actions of the Prophet (PBUH) are a guide to us in this regard.
Express your love. Couples should express their love to each other by all means possible. They should nurture this love, strengthen it and enjoy it. Unfortunately, some cultures do not promote the male's explicit expressions of love because they associate manhood with toughness. Our Prophet (PBUH) again was the most compassionate and loving husband. His gentleness with his wives is also a guide to our relationships. This expression may be needed more and more when the wife goes through difficult physical times, like pregnancy or delivery. A loving touch, a gentle word, a smile, or a comforting word are often all it takes to assure the other side of your love, support and appreciation.

TheNeed For Freedom
The type of freedom needed here is acomprehensive freedom in all aspects of life. It includes:

Financial freedom. The husband should always give his wife some money to spend it whenever she feels necessary, even if his income is limited. Women need to feel secure financially. This is why Islam mandated the dowry to women.
Freedom of independent opinion. Both sides should not impose their own opinions on the other. They should respect the independence of the other and respect the difference in their views. Viewing the spouse's opinion as silly or belittling it in any way does not contribute to a healthy marital relationship.
Social freedom within the guides of the Shari'a. Men should have full confidence in their wives when they seek to go to school, visit family, visit friends or seek a job as long as both sides are performing their duties toward themselves and toward the family. Both should realize the need for restrictions on these freedoms. However, the margin of freedom should be respected.

TheNeed For Success
Husbands and wives need the assistance of eachother to succeed in anything they do, even if it is simple matter. No one oughtto ridicule what the other is doing, but encourage the other to be their best.

The Need For Change
Daily routine needs to be broken sometimes. There is a need for a walk, a trip,a change in the house decoration, going to the park, to the zoo, etc. Theseactivities renew life and provide it with energy and continuity.

Sexual Needs
Sex is natural and both sides should work hard to fulfill the needs of theother. Couples should not shy from admitting the existence of some sexualproblems. There is no harm in that. Both should work on them and seek sexualfulfillment. Statistics have shown that 70% of marital problems are of sexualnature.

In conclusion my dear brothers and sisters, if love and compassion existsbetween couples, they should be able to solve any problem facing them. I prayto Allah SWT to grant all couples happiness and prosperity. Let us all rememberthat life is so short and we should enjoy it.

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Descartes has been indicated as the first modern philosopher. He is renowned for having made and important connection between geometry and algebra that brought about the solutions to geometrical problems by way of algebraic equations. He is also famous for having promoted a new conception of matter which allowed for the accounting of physical phenomena by way of mechanical explanations. However, he is most famous for having written a relatively short work, Meditationes de Prima Philosophia ( Meditations on First Philosophy), in which the Existence of God and the Distinction between Mind and Body are demonstrated. This was published in 1641 and provided a philosophical groundwork for the possibility of sciences.

Today, Descartes Meditations is by far Descartes's most popular work, though this would not have been the case in Descartes's day. Descartes Meditations opens by developing skeptical questions concerning the possibility of knowledge. Through a series of several carefully thought out meditations, six meditations to be exact, the reader establishes groundwork for the possibility of knowledge (scientia). Descartes Meditations uses skepticism as a vehicle to motivate his reader to "discover" by way of philosophical investigation what constitutes this ground.

Descartes Meditations was dedicated to the faculty of the Sorbonne, which was the divinity school of the University of Paris . Descartes was a devout Catholic and had no desire to offend the Church, though he certainly hoped to make a contribution to its understanding. There are two driving issues behind Descartes Meditations: proving the existence of God and the immortality of the soul through natural reason. Here are some samples of Descartes Meditations 1 and 2:

Descartes Meditation 1 - OF THE THINGS OF WHICH WE MAY DOUBT .

1. SEVERAL years have now elapsed since I first became aware that I had accepted, even from my youth, many false opinions for true, and that consequently what I afterward based on such principles was highly doubtful; and from that time I was convinced of the necessity of undertaking once in my life to rid myself of all the opinions I had adopted, and of commencing anew the work of building from the foundation, if I desired to establish a firm and abiding superstructure in the sciences. But as this enterprise appeared to me to be one of great magnitude, I waited until I had attained an age so mature as to leave me no hope that at any stage of life more advanced I should be better able to execute my design. On this account, I have delayed so long that I should henceforth consider I was doing wrong were I still to consume in deliberation any of the time that now remains for action. To-day, then, since I have opportunely freed my mind from all cares [and am happily disturbed by no passions], and since I am in the secure possession of leisure in a peaceable retirement, I will at length apply myself earnestly and freely to the general overthrow of all my former opinions.

This is just one of the twelve paragraphs that's in Descartes Meditations 1, which is all about Descartes establishing his ideas about the world in which he can doubt their truth.

Descartes Meditation 2 - OF THE NATURE OF THE HUMAN MIND; AND THAT IT IS MORE EASILY KNOWN THAN THE BODY.

The Meditation of yesterday has filled my mind with so many doubts, that it is no longer in my power to forget them. Nor do I see, meanwhile, any principle on which they can be resolved; and, just as if I had fallen all of a sudden into very deep water, I am so greatly disconcerted as to be unable either to plant my feet firmly on the bottom or sustain myself by swimming on the surface. I will, nevertheless, make an effort, and try anew the same path on which I had entered yesterday, that is, proceed by casting aside all that admits of the slightest doubt, not less than if I had discovered it to be absolutely false; and I will continue always in this track until I shall find something that is certain, or at least, if I can do nothing more, until I shall know with certainty that there is nothing certain. Archimedes, that he might transport the entire globe from the place it occupied to another, demanded only a point that was firm and immovable; so, also, I shall be entitled to entertain the highest expectations, if I am fortunate enough to discover only one thing that is certain and indubitable.

This is just one of the sixteen paragraphs in Descartes Meditation 2; here he lays out a pattern of though, sometimes called representationalism, in response to the doubts forwarded in Meditation 1, arguing that this representational theory disconnects the world from the mind, leading to the need for some sort of bridge to span the separation and provide good reasons that the ideas accurately represent the outside world.

Descartes Meditations I, II, III, IV, V, and VI, are writings that discards all his beliefs in things which are not absolutely certain, and then he tries to establish what can be known for sure.

Article Source : Unhappy Marriage

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