I was on a walk and a group of young men were headed toward me - late teens - four of them - walking shoulder to shoulder. There was not going to be enough space for me to stay on the sidewalk unless one of them gave way. My negative expectation was that they would make it difficult for me - it's happened before. As I got close to them, I smiled and said " How you doing?" They answered by asking me the same question. They also moved and gave me room to stay on the sidewalk.
I reflected on that little scenario, and was kind of ashamed that my expectation was that they would give me a hard time. But I felt good that - even though I didn't feel optimistic - I acted it. And the result was a pleasant exchange and we all went on our way.
How often do we let negative expectations cause negative behavior? How often do we let negative expectations create negative results? If you're like me, it's more often than I like to admit. And yet, when I work to overcome negative expectations and project positive behavior, I am pleasantly surprised. Things end up better than I expected.
What I've learned is to spend more time on positive behaviors, and less time trying to dwell on the reasons for negative expectations. How to do that?
The first step is awareness. After years of fine tuning our expectations based on our personal experience, the media, generalizations and a host of othet inputs, we act based on some really imbedded beliefs. The behaviors we adopt seem to happen so automatically we don't realize them. And those behaviors are the architects of our outcomes. Start building awareness by listening to yourself. Do you hear negative messages about how things will turn out - a sales prospect that won't buy, a proposal that will be rejected, an invitation extended but refused? If you do - and almost all of us do, you've got some expectation and behavior work to do.
Now that you've identified a negative expectation, it's time to create a positive behavior to overcome it. Look back at the sales call, the proposal, the invitation and see what could have been done to project a behavior that expressed a positive outcome. Perhaps that question that started "Would you like to-----?' could be stated differently. That proposal that apologized for the time it took to present it would have been better served with a statement of benefit. Perhaps that sales call that started with a thank you for your time could have started with a positive statement of value to the prospect. The point is to replace behavior based on negative expectations with behavior based on what we desire to be the outcome.
The next step is to learn from the result of the positive behavior - help the outcome challenge the beliefs and biases that led to the negative expectation in the first place. But don't try to over analyze where the expectation came from. Use the time to create and reinforce positive behaviors. Done often enough, the outcomes of the positive behaviors will change expectations. That's what's so great about having your actions lead your expectations.
Then do it again - and again. I guarantee positive results. I know a smile and an engaging question - "How are you doing?" work wonders with contacts. I learned it by forcing myself to use it - again and again. My expectation of people contacts has changed for the better - through my own positive actions. So will yours.
Thoughts are powerful things; whatever you put your focus on will grow. Imagine that your mind is a garden. You can fill your mind with beautiful flowers or let it become overgrown and out of control with weeds. What is it to be? We can't have two opposing thoughts at the same time! If you want a flourishing garden; out must come the weeds.
Positive thinking leads to a positive attitude. Maintaining a positive attitude is really a decision to be happy, it's your choice. Buddha summarized how to remain happy no matter how bad things may seem when he said," Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us be thankful.
Positive thinking is not easy to achieve as we are geared from a young age to think the worst of most situations. Look at the daily news headlines, its all doom and gloom.
Positive thinking is something we can all profit from and we need to be reminded of this often. It might be reading a quote every morning or getting up each morning and saying,"Today I will think positively". Positive thinking is quite literally just that. Replace thinking about the things that could or have gone amiss, with the things that you have executed well or those things that have worked out as you anticipated or better. It will become an actual lifestyle that is the basis for everything that you do.
Positive thinking is like a pair of eyeglasses. Having the right pair can make all the difference. There is a technique called re-framing. I guess it is taking that pair of glasses off and putting on another pair. Re-framing would be choosing to interpret the situation in a positive way which you would previously be looked at in a negative way.
Re-framing is an excellent way to break the negative attention cycle, and it helps prevent you from getting pulled into the negative downward spiral. Once it becomes a habit, the whole world and everyone in it are seen in terms of "what is right" rather than "what is wrong". It is a way of presenting old situations in another frame. It is seeing the glass half full; not half empty.
This requires practice! That right its a practice! This type of thinking is incredibly powerful.
You don't want to live next to an abattoir? It could be worse, it could be an ammunitions factory run by psyco's. It's a paradigm shift. It's looking at life and events in life in a new context. It's like looking at a painting - you can choose where to focus your attention and from there base what you will feel. Its a powerful stratagem. It changes our perceptions about the situation, and will therefore effect our actions.
In fact research makes it clear that positive thinking and attitude is more important than any other factor when it comes to ensuring success. Negative emotions may suppress the immune system for up to 6 hours following the negative emotional experience.
Positive thinking should be the mechanism we use to support good outcome in our lives. It will maximize positive emotions and therefore productiveness and therefore a better quality of life.
Both Andrew Cox & Lynn Zingel are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Andrew Cox has sinced written about articles on various topics from Computers and The Internet, Travel and Leisure and Politics. Andy Cox helps clients align their resources and design and implement change through the application of goals focused on the important few elements that have maximum impact in achieving success - as defined by the client. He can be reached at. Andrew Cox's top article generates over 9900 views. to your Favourites.
Lynn Zingel has sinced written about articles on various topics from Sleep Disorder, Energy Healing and self improvement and motivation. Lynn Zingel is the author and editor of . Here you will find words of . Lynn Zingel's top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.