Men tend to perceive conversation with mates as a form of competition or challenge-like playing office politics or jockeying for position in the passing lane. When we're asked a question, we don't just answer 'we want to give the right answer' (or the right excuse). If talking turns into a debate or argument, naturally we want to win it. If the conversation revolves around our partner's problems, 9 times out of 10, we'll move into advice-giving mode, trying to come up with solutions to the puzzle laid out before us.
Our adversarial attitude toward conversation is not just mental; it's physical, too. Conversation can be as stressful as any physical challenge men face in life. It actually quickens our heart rates and causes our temperatures to rise. Left unchecked, our impulse to wrestle with conversation can also cause tempers to rise and very quickly lead a conversation into the not-so-gentle realm of full-blown argument. But it doesn't have to be this way.
It's the basic nature of men to equate the rigors of conversation with more physical challenges. We don't talk about stuff; we do stuff. We're hands-on, proactive. Men get their identities from their achievements, not their relationships. Thus, we have a hard time simply having a talk, empathizing with a partner, commiserating with her. We need to talk to have a point or a goal, or to address a concrete issue that can be solved with advice and specific actions.
This is just the opposite of what women want. Usually, all they want is to feel that you've heard them, regardless of whether your conversation comes to a specific resolution.
That's not the only way we differ in conversational style. Just for your own edification, here are some other examples that reveal our competitive leanings when it comes to conversation.
Men issue commands; women make requests. For example, a man will say 'Close the door,' while a woman will ask, 'Will you please close the door?' This gives men power and makes women seem subservient.
While women initiate conversations, men interrupt a lot more and thus gain control of the discussion. In conversation, men like to give information, not get it. This, by the way, is why we don't like to ask for directions. So in summary, men really do need to learn how to just listen more. This will do wonders for scoring brownie points in courting women.
As I came downstairs to breakfast the other day, my wife stroked my cheek lovingly.
'Your skin is so soft!' she said almost wonderingly. 'I really don't know how you manage it!'
Now my wife is a dear, dear woman but she thinks that a soft skin is only achievable by using amounts of night cream, day cream, anti-wrinkle cream (not that she has any anyway!), protein cream and just about any other cream that the cosmetic companies can dream up.
She, like many other ladies, is convinced that many men have made a pact with the Prince of Darkness in return for facial skin that is not only soft but free from spots and blemishes. I will probably be marked for use as a bridge support filler or receive a nice pair of concrete overshoes from the League For Excessively Scratchy Chins for revealing the truth but I can contain myself no longer: men really do use skincare products!
There. I've said it. What a relief to finally 'come out' (about men's skin, that is). The thing that is different about men's facial skincare and that used by women is that men don't pay anywhere near as much for theirs - and that's because men do something to their faces every day that women never, ever do. They shave.
Now I know women shave their legs and sometimes other unmentionable bits. All we men know that. But they don't do it every day. So why does that make a difference?
Oh, well, the cat's out of the bag now so I may as well tell you everything. The act of shaving, when done daily, is an excellent exfoliant. A razor doesn't only take away the stubble from the chins and cheeks of the average male, it also removes quite a few of the old dermal cells. This tends to leave our homely pans soft and smooth - especially if you use (as an increasing number of today's guys do) a straight razor.
That's the reason why - when we're freshly planed off - the facial skin of your everyday male is as soft as a woman's that has had enough cream on it to make a raspberry pavlova. The only problem is that it doesn't last. Hence the tendency in recent years for an increasing number of guys to reach for the bottle.
The skincare-for-men bottle, that is. I'm not convinced that I am the first to have uttered this truth as to the original method of skincare for men - shaving - and doubtless the cosmetic companies' intelligence task force has been keeping their ear well and truly stuck to the floor over the years. So what do we have now? You got it in one - cream for men.
Oh, they don't call it 'cream'. Far too girly. It's called 'rejuvenating facial cream' or something equally crafty - it simply wouldn't do to call it 'day cream' or 'cool night cream', would it? It's done like this. After we men have carefully eradicated all traces of stubble, in proper manly fashion with some horribly sharp steel, we are smiled at from some webpage by an incredible hunk with biceps like footballs and a six-pack made of very large ballbearings who suggests that it would be a good idea to - moisturise our skin!
And do you know what the worst thing about it is? Yep. It works. Guess what I got for Christmas last year? Worse still, guess what I bought recently? Resistance, as has been said, was futile.
The male skincare culture steamroller is gathering momentum. We poor males, hapless victims of our own primitive but effective skincare method, have been sucked into mainstream skincare by forces we can hardly comprehend. What happened to the good old days when the only perfume men wore was good, honest sweat and we all changed our socks once a week even if they were reasonably pong-free? When boxer shorts were things boxers wore and after-shave lotion was considered only fit for wearing on a hot date?
Don't know about you but I sure thank my lucky stars they're firmly in the past! Now where's my anti-aging wrinkle-destroying masculine protein emollient?
Both Terry Leslie & Steve are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Terry Leslie has sinced written about articles on various topics from About Branding, Womens Health and Dating and Romance. If you have found my article interesting, I have come across a site which is at the moment giving away a massive free Book titled Secrets To Dating Beautiful Women. I have personally found this one of the best books on the subject of Dating and Relationsh. Terry Leslie's top article generates over 110000 views. to your Favourites.
Steve has sinced written about articles on various topics from Insurance, Computers and The Internet and Brakes. Steve Dempster is a recent and happy convert to modern men's skincare and doesn't mind anymore who knows it. about shaving and skincare products fo. Steve's top article generates over 49500 views. to your Favourites.