“It's hard to get to know ladies without them expecting some type of a commitment right away. Sometimes I ask them out just to check them out and see what kind of person they are. I might ask a lady out on a few dates just to hang out with her and get to know her on a deeper level. The problem is, after one or two dates, she thinks we have some sort of a commitment going, and then gets all upset if I don't want to go out with her the following week.”
-Single Confused Guy
“I think it is impossible for a woman to be ‘just friends' with guys they like. I don't even try to ask them out if I am not almost 100% interested in building some kind of a relationship, because the moment you ask them out, they expect more. You know… they say they want a guy that they can be friends with, but they don't give the friendship a shot. They want to move right on to the next stage.”
-Single and Loving It
“I still can't figure out why women get so caught up in wanting a relationship to develop so quickly after just meeting a guy. I am hesitant to ask out a few of my female clients because they automatically assume that this is more than just a business meeting, especially if I arrange more than two meetings. In the line of work I do, it is very common to meet over lunch or dinner and discuss the strategic plans for their organization. For some reason, I always run into problems with the women that are not married. I guess because I don't have a ring on my finger, they assume that I am looking for someone. I am in a satisfying relationship with my partner, and I am not looking for anything or anyone else.”
-Single & Happy
“Guys always get blamed for wanting to move things along pretty quickly, but women are just as bad. The moment you ask her out, she is ready to walk down the aisle. Slow down ladies… slow down. (He laughs.) Stop trying to move things along so quickly.”
-Laughing Out Loud
“It's better not to even ask out a woman if you are not serious about pursuing some kind of a relationship. I asked out one lady, and then a few weeks later, I asked her friend out because I wanted to get to know her. Well, the first lady I asked out had a fit. She cursed me out… talking about she can't believe I had the nerve to ask her friend out after asking her out. All we did was go out for drinks… no sex… no strings attached. How in the world did she figure we had something going? See… this is what I mean. Women figure that once you ask them out, that's it. All friends, sisters, cousins… everyone else she knows is off limits. Yeah right! Her best friend didn't feel that way, but it didn't matter because she was also crazy… in a whole different way. And you all wonder why you can't find somebody.”
-Age 36 & Not Dating Friends
“You don't even have to ask a woman out for her to think something is going on. They get mad when you are nice to them, and then start being nice to someone else that they know. I work with a couple of attractive ladies, and if I give a little bit of attention to one of them, and maybe start talking with a different lady a little bit more than the other one, they get mad. Women are crazy! I am not even dating her, and she gets mad. What sense does that make?”
-Single & Working Hard
Z's Thoughts:
When I discussed this issue with my single girlfriends, to my surprise most of them agreed with this topic. A few of them said that they have pointed this out to other women. One of them said, “Tell the men to go to hell!” As you can see, I have a very diverse group of girlfriends. Keep reading… it gets better.
One of my best friends (Denise) said, “They don't know how to be friends. If I am only your friend, then I am not sleeping with you. Brothers always want us to be friends with benefits. Friends don't sleep with friends… how about that? That want you to cook for them… sleep with them… treat and wash their dirty underwear, and then five months later, they still want to be just friends!”
As you can see, my friends are pretty opinionated. But here is the question: Does she have a point?
“I just don't like it when they don't have their stuff together. All I want is for you to have what I have, and that isn't too much— a car, a decent job, a decent home or an apartment. Not living with your grandmother or aunt and catching the bus everywhere at the age of 33! If we go out on a date, we can go Dutch. That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is when I have to come and pick you up. That is such a turn off for me. How are you going to be 33 years old and not have a car? Then, when I do pick you up, you don't even offer gas money! That is such a turn off for me. Having a means of transportation is a basic thing that I shouldn't even have to discuss. We are both full grown adults— come on now!”
-Young Widower
“Don't ever put yourself out there to be in a relationship if you can't take care of yourself. You need to be prepared to give in some way— emotionally, spiritually, mentally… something! At least have something to fall back on in case you get laid off from work. To not have a plan is just irresponsible.”
-Single
“I just wish that men knew how to dress and take care of themselves. They don't want to go to the doctor for regular checkups. They don't want to get their teeth whitened. They don't want to keep their nails together. I think they think it is not macho to do those things. This is a new age. Guys do this stuff now. Take care of your skin. Keep it smooth and soft in the right places. Smell good. Invest in some nice cologne. Buy a few nice shirts to wear out. You don't have to wear suits everyday, but have some kind of a variety to your wardrobe.”
-Retail Clerk
“Some of these men need to get their acts together. I am also talking to the ones that have a good job, and make a lot of money, but still stay broke and have no future because they blow all of their money away on partying, drugs, women, cars, or whatever. They are just as irresponsible as the ones making less money. Invest in your future! Get some stock options. Put the maximum amount allowed in your 401k. Keep some money in your savings account for a rainy day. Buy a couple of houses if you can and plan for your future! Just because a man may pull up in a Navigator does not impress me. Show me your diversified funds. Show me your retirement plan. Show me some saving bonds or something. You know what I'm saying?”
-Young Entrepreneur
“When you have a job with benefits, it allows me to believe that you are a responsible person and care about yourself and your future. I want to be with someone that can take care of me if I lost my job. Can you support me and my two daughters if I got laid off? I am not saying this to sound like a gold digger, but I have struggled long enough in my life, and I work very hard to support my girls, but if I should fall on hard times, I want to be with someone that is solution oriented— someone that can pick up where I left off and take care of the family.”
-Single Parent
“It's hard finding someone that is truly committed to God, and has the desire to lead his family to heaven. I get approached by a lot of guys, but I have no real interest in them because once I start talking about my relationship with God, they try to act as if they are into reading their bible or whatever, and I quickly find out that they are just playing games. If he is not serious about loving God, I am not serious about being with him. I believe the only way a man can truly love me is if he knows about the love God truly has for him.”
-Christian Single
Z's Thoughts:
Many of the women I spoke with said that a man doesn't have to be a doctor, lawyer, or make six figures to impress them. They said as long as he is working in a job that allows him to take care of himself, or his responsibilities, that is fine. Oh… they also said he must have benefits.
So, if you are working at a company and you don't even get health insurance, you might want to try finding another job. The women seem to be pretty turned off by men that can't get a regular check up.
Guys— what do you think about the comment from the Christian Single?