We experience this idyllic feeling when we are around another individual who has charisma; better yet, when we feel undeniably magnetic! Our posture is more erect; we are more confident and attentive; our communication is crystal clear.
The dictionary defines magnetism as 'the strong attractiveness of something; for example, the power of somebody's personality to influence others.' Previously, we talked about how our physical and verbal presentation guides other's perception of us.
What about our attitude, level of confidence and emotional state? Being more transparent than you think, people easily read when you are confident or not.
"Katherine Hepburn once referred to her arrival in Hollywood by saying, "I was bringing myself as though I were a basket of flowers!" How wonderful to feel that way and to be able to say it!
"If Hepburn hadn't had her confident sense of self she could never have swept through Hollywood as triumphantly as she did. In Ms. Hepburn's era, women held the role of cute, snuggly, sexy or gorgeous -not at all like the self-determination, patrician fortitude, self-sufficiency, and sparking beauty she exuded.
"People do walk through the door of your expectations—especially if the expectations are unquestioning and sure. Katherine Hepburn's strong sense of self not only propelled her into being a star; as everybody knows, she stayed one." Doe Lang, Ph.D., in "Charisma, Discover and Unleash Your Hidden Powers".
I often hear people say 'once I lose that extra fifteen pounds my confidence will soar. I'll feel much better about myself and then I'll ask for that promotion.' This is conditional acceptance. Do you want conditional acceptance from others? Then why limit yourself? Your sense of self is more wisely developed through the fascinations that occupy your mind and your heart.
You've experienced being in the presence of someone who is both large and confident as they own the crowd. They accept themselves as who they are here and now. It doesn't matter if you are tall or short, thin, overweight or have a bad hair day, your level of confidence or magnetism determines how people respond to you.
This week, consider what makes a person magnetic. Be specific. Think of celebrities, politicians, individuals whom you respect and those whom you do not as you can still learn from them. What traits do they have? Which of these traits do you have or would you like to develop? Polish up that magnetic personality. You'll get extra credits if you position yourself in a place to be around and learn to influence others from individuals like this, and are feeling magnetic yourself. Enjoy your discoveries and have a great week!
Funny. Humor is just plain powerful with women. If you can keep her laughing, you will go far.
Intelligent and Creative. Intelligence is sexy IF it's used in a way that's interesting to her. Use your creativity and intelligence to surprise her with ideas, fantasies and unexpected things that charm her.
Educated. Education is attractive to women as long as it's used in an interesting way. Some women are actually intimidated by education, as they're not educated (This usually works in your favor).
Classy and Cultured. If you have class, women pick up on this. Do your shoes and belt match? Do you understand interior design and color contrast? Do you know about different types of wine? Do you like foreign movies? Do you understand fashion? Do you like Frank Sinatra? Do you enjoy exotic foods? Do you
Dominant. Women have an unconscious attraction to dominant men. The dominant males in some primate groups account for up to 75% of all the mating, while the less dominant males go without. Same goes for humans.
Notices Significant Details. Women don't just notice details; they USE them to try to be attractive and attentive. If she is wearing a sexy outfit, she didn't put it on by accident. If her hair is done nicely, it wasn't a fluke. Women are very impressed and attracted to men that notice these details.
Unpredictable/Predictable. Here's a paradox. Women are drawn to men that they can't control or predict. They obsess over guys who flirt and give them attention, then don't call the next day. Predictability is only attractive when it comes to choosing a HUSBAND. Then a woman usually wants a man who's VERY predictable.
Enthusiastic, Fun, Happy. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a killjoy. Some men get upset and pout when a woman is happy, and try to put down the things that she enjoys to sound superior. This is usually a HUGE mistake. Enthusiasm is infectious and attractive.
Adventurous. Women are instantly attracted to men who like to do extreme, adventurous, unusual, even dangerous things. It's exciting. Adventurism is sexy.
Aggressive. Women love men that know what they want and go after it. Passion is a sign of life. I'm not talking about the kind of aggressive that turns into date rape. I'm talking about the kind of aggressive that turns into setting a goal and then going after it with passion and getting it no matter what.
Confident/Cocky. Women are magnetically attracted to men who are just a little bit too cocky. Just a little bit. This is a tough one to explain. Many men take this to mean 'overly arrogant' which is not what I mean. If you watch Pierce Brosnan in 'The Thomas Crown Affair' or Clarke Gable in 'Gone with the Wind' or Tom Cruise in 'Top Gun' you'll get an idea of what I'm talking about. The confident/cocky trait is mild overconfidence combined with humor.
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