I pride myself in being the kind of husband and father that takes an active part in helping care for my children. If they woke up in the middle of the night or needed fed or diapers changed, I would help out as often as I could to take the burden off my wife. So when we were on a family outing to the local shopping mall and my son needed to go potty it was only natural that I should take him. I had taken him several times at home as he was making the all important switch from diapers to big boy underwear. We were both pretty comfortable with the routine. There would only be one teeny tiny little difference this time. This time it would be a public restroom experience.
Thinking back on my own crucial steps toward manhood, I thought this might be a little intimidating for my little man. When I was his age my family used to go to the drive in theater (remember those?). Mom would put me in my pajamas before we left home. When we arrived at the show, I would consume large quantities of juice and before long I was in need of relief. My dad would dutifully escort me from the car, through a seemingly endless maze of vehicles, up and down the hills, lit only by the images flashing across the giant screen, to the public restroom at the snack bar. I can still remember dad being perplexed by my need to go so bad while in the car, then taking so long to go once we actually reached the restroom. Sitting my naked behind on a strange seat in a row of booths with strangers on either side, it was all just too much. Even worse was waiting in a long line of strangers, dancing around in my pajamas holding my crotch while I waited to attempt to go in the totally open public peeing trough. Forget about it.
With this in mind, I intended to make this as easy as possible for my son . He seemed eager. He was excited by this whole ordeal, this giant step from baby in diapers to manhood. He was ready to make that step. He charged right into the men's room with me right beside him. I escorted my son to the first empty stall, and got him prepared and on the seat. The first obstacle was that the hole in the seat was a bit larger than the one at home and it was not the complete circle of comfort he was used to at home. At home he had a little plastic doughnut that made the hole a little smaller complete with a front deflector shield that made the process relatively fool proof. Now he had to balance on the edge of an abyss, use one hand to aim and the other to hold on to daddy. That extra inch of clearance on each side was the difference between sitting comfortably and struggling to keep from getting his bottom wet. I held him steady so he could relax. Which he did. So relaxed in fact that he took the opportunity to look around.
My son observed a pair of feet in the stall next to us. ?Hey, there's somebody over there,? He announced in his outdoor voice. Honestly the whole quiet voice thing seemed beyond his understanding. If he had something to say, there was no sense being shy about it. "It's alright," I replied in my inside voice. I took a glance down at the strangers feet myself and noticed that they were at least three inches longer than my own. ?How's it coming there son?" Trying to keep my son focused. ?Are you going potty over there too?? my son inquired of the mysterious feet. ?Just let the nice man go potty and you go potty too,? once again attempting to remind him we did come in here for a reason. ?Are you about done little man??
It was quiet for a moment and I thought perhaps the worst was over. But no. The man next door made a sort of sloppy sound. The kind of sound that you just hate to make in a public restroom. That was a sound you really only wanted to make in the comfort and confines of your own private bathroom at home. If you have to make such a sound in a public restroom, you really hope no one else hears it. Unfortunately public restrooms these days are designed by the same people that make concert halls so they have roughly the same acoustics. Not only did my son hear it, he felt obligated to comment. He said the same thing I had said to him when he made that sound, ?Hey, sounds like DIARRHEA!? Diarrhea, was not even a public word when I was growing up. Now we have to hear about it on television commercials. Even so, it is still a word you just do not want to hear in public. I looked again at those gigantic feet. I thought, if he stood up he could probably punch me right over the top of the stall. ?Are you about done there son?,? I asked hoping that this would all be over soon.
Finally he was finished. As he was bending over so I could wipe his little tush, his head got down below the adjoining wall. Still using his one-volume-fits-all voice he asked, ?Do you want my daddy to come and wipe your bottom too?? Mercifully the owner of the feet next door did not feel the need to answer. Thankfully, those feet and their owner just stayed put while I wiped, zipped, buttoned and packed my son out of there like a thief stealing a loaf of bread. I kept him tightly tucked under my arm and I didn't set him down again until we were back beside my wife. "Is everything alright, you look dazed?? my wife asked looking at me. ?Well sure, yes, it went fine, but if a really big guy starts coming toward us I'll meet you back at the car,? I said. ?Why, what's wrong?,? she inquired out of genuine concern. ?Well it's nothing really except our son just asked a very large pair of feet if he wanted his daddy to come and wipe his bottom too... By the way, next time he needs to go, it's your turn.?
While there's probably not a parent alive that looks forward to potty training, remembering that the other side of this training means no more diaper changing can motivate anyone to take it on! Of course there's more to it than just tossing out the diapers; potty training means teaching your child independence and self-reliance and is the first step toward taking care of himself or herself. But of course you want to make sure you handle this transition properly; having your child feel as if he or she is doing something wrong or is disappointing you when they don't immediately respond to potty training is not going to accomplish anything and will just increase frustration and tension between the two of you.
Keep in mind that potty training usually starts around the time a child is able to stay dry through the night. If they wake up with a dry diaper this signals the fact that their bladder is developed enough to control; trying to force potty training before that and the child may not physically be able to control their bladder or bowels. For most children this is somewhere between 18 and 36 months but of course will vary for each child. Never go by an older child's schedule or what someone else you know is doing with their own child.
You also need to make sure your child can handle all the physical requirements of potty training. Can he handle removing his pants, opening the lid and climbing on the toilet, and so on? Children of smaller size may not be able to handle these things quite yet, so you might want to wait another few months until they can. Work with him when it comes dressing and undressing before you're even ready for potty training so that he doesn't need to learn everything all at once.
When you are ready for potty training make sure you don't start this during any other stressful times in the child's life. If you've just moved, gained or lost a pet, or for any other reason have stress in the home, put this off until the stress is subsided. Remember that children get overwhelmed much easier than adults and so can't quite handle so many things all at once. Put off potty training until a child doesn't feel stressed and upset and nervous about anything else.
Talk to your child about potty training and that this is what the bathroom is for and that it's time for him to start using it like a big boy. Be very careful to put him on the toilet and hold him safely; remember that this is a big and scary bit of equipment for him and no doubt he's afraid of falling in! Anticipate when he will need to use the bathroom so that he can connect the toilet with potty training. Purchase some "big kid" undies and have your child wear them; make sure he understands you don't want him to get them wet so he needs to tell you when he's ready to go. Make this a positive time and give the child a positive reaction when he approaches you. Make sure you never act as if being ready to use the potty is a bad thing or an emergency; this will just give the child more stress and fear.
A reward sticker program is used by many parents when potty training. Every time your child uses the toilet successfully, he gets a sticker on a chart. After so many stickers he gets a reward. The reward should be small and a non-food item; you don't want to have the child associate unhealthy foods with rewards and of course they need to earn their stickers as well. Usually rewards should come every couple of days. A new ball or other small toy can suffice.
Remember that you'll have setbacks with potty training just as you do any other type of training for your child, so take things in stride and just keep encouraging him.
Both Jeff Sliger & Blair Critch are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Jeff Sliger has sinced written about articles on various topics from Fitness, Spa and Internet Marketing. From Jeff at . Jeff Sliger's top article generates over 8100 views. to your Favourites.
Blair Critch has sinced written about articles on various topics from Kids and Teens, Cooking Tips and Health. Married with two children: Jeremiah (4) and Noah (2) Former Kindergarten Teacher Current Home Maker/Entrepreneur