WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS? Assertiveness is many things to many people, but the most common definition is about speaking up and letting others know what we think and feel. It is about voicing our feelings; that is, putting the right word in a sentence that accurately describes our experience. In fact, jumping ahead a little, using just the right feeling word in a sentence is THE thing that will increase our assertiveness by fifty percent. I am a psychologist and in my private practice, I deal with eight issues or problems every day. Lack of assertiveness is one of the eight. Improving assertiveness skills positively impacts the other seven areas, usually right away. (For the curious, some of the other seven issues are low self-esteem, anxiety disorders, depression, relationship issues, etc.) In my practice I teach clients how to pick just the right words to use. In fact, I wrote an ebook that describes the nine primary feelings we humans have. At the back of the ebook I have listed nearly eight hundred synonyms for these nine feeling words. When it comes time to be assertive, all a client has to do is go to the back of the ebook and select the right word, and then use it in a sentence. Nowhere in my research is there a greater collection of feeling words. I have made the process very easy and put it in written form in a very easy-to-understand flow chart format. Learning assertiveness involves other things besides just choosing the right feeling words. Clients have to learn that being assertive is actually a good thing. Too many people fear being assertive because we think there is going to be conflict or negative feelings involved. These things are hard to avoid in life, so we need a technique to deal with them. Assertiveness is just the ticket. We all sometimes have to deal with negativity, regardless, because it is in the nature of our personal realities. But it does not have to be this way either; that is, focusing on the negative. I think our experiences are more often positive, or at least neutral. If not, then we need to consider how to create such a mental atmosphere, which again, is where assertiveness comes in. And, even if there is no negativity, which is the sought after goal of most of us, assertiveness is the technique of choice in dealing with our thoughts and feelings. The technique of assertiveness is very much needed to get what we want, or at least ask for it regardless of whether we succeed in actually getting something. (The process of being assertive is what counts.) Assertiveness, as I teach it in the office, involves five steps. We have to 1) know what we actually are thinking and/or feeling, 2) decide that our thoughts and/or feelings are important enough to do something about, 3) if so, fantasize a little about the possibilities of expressing ourselves, 4) then, once settling on a "plan," actually doing something or "working" the plan, and lastly, 5) assessing the results. I call the fifth step, "feedback." I describe this flow chart approach to becoming assertive in great detail in my ebook, entitled, "The Five Steps of Assertiveness." The process is very easy to understand, but we have to approach assertiveness, starting with step one. Most people try to skip directly to step four, which is the "doing" step. We tend to do this without thinking through the first three steps. Then, we scratch our heads in wonderment when "things" did not go so well. Actually, more people fail at assertiveness in steps one or two. Many of us do not pay much attention to what really goes through our minds. We are not "mindful," to use a popular phrase. Or, even if we do have some awareness of our thoughts and feelings, we tend to downplay their significance. We tell ourselves our thoughts and feelings are not important, therefore, why bother to tell anyone, much less do anything about them. This is a formula for non-assertiveness. For much more information about this and other subjects, see my website.
Dr. Griggs.
You'll need to keep the Atkins food pyramid in mind when you make food choices. The Atkins pyramid looks much different than the USDA Food Guide Pyramid. The base of the pyramid consists of protein sources such as eggs, fish, beef, chicken and tofu. On a daily basis, your diet should consist primarily of these foods. The second tier has low glycemic vegetables like salad greens, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus and spinach.
The third tier is made up of berries and avocado. Fruits should be used on an occasional basis after the initial stages of the Atkins diet. Vegetable and seed oils, cheese, dairy, nuts and legumes are used sparingly and in appropriate portions. While the FDA pyramid has oils and fats at the top peak, the Atkins pyramid places whole grain foods in this spot. Whole grain foods should be used very occasionally and don't make up the mainstay of the Atkins diet.
When you start the Atkins plan, you'll need to make sure you understand which foods are acceptable for your stage of the program. The Induction phase is the most restrictive, but it only lasts two weeks.
You owe it to your dieting success to stay within the acceptable foods list. One of the best ways to do this is to follow the Atkins menu plans that are printed within the New Diet Revolution book. There are also Atkins cookbooks and cookbooks that are geared toward other low carb diets that are helpful in formulating meal plans.
It's a helpful idea to use a cheat sheet of acceptable Atkins foods wherever you go. If you are out and about and hungry, the last thing you want to do is to try to think back in your memory to figure out what you can and cannot eat. Carrying a list of acceptable foods with you will make finding a snack or meal while out on the run easy. You can't always rely on "low carb" labels to tell you whether or not something is diet friendly. Ever since low carb became the new diet craze, manufacturers have been jumping on the bandwagon to attract Atkins dieters. They label items low carb to sell products and don't have your health in mind. Relying on foods from your own personal list is the best way to stay on the plan.
Another good resource for keeping track of the appropriate Atkins foods is an online diet program. There are several available. Some are free and some have a small monthly fee. The programs require you to register and then they provide you with personal weekly menu plans based on your needs and your carbohydrate gram level. There are normally printable weekly shopping lists that make picking up your Atkins diet foods from the grocery store easy and quick.
Atkins diet food is easy to find once you know what you are looking for. The books, food pyramid and online resources can help you make better food choices and stay on the diet for the long term.
Both Steven Griggs, Ph.d. & Jackie Serta are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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