Self esteem is how a person feels about themselves. Most of the time we can be our own worst critics. Not feeling good about how you look or your personality can lead to anxiety when you are in a group. You may be shy and reserved even though you want to talk to other people. Having self esteem doesn't mean you are always confident or that you think you are better than others. It just means you have accepted who you are and you are willing to live with it.
Having self esteem doesn't just happen, it is a process. Many people go through an awkward stage during adolescence. It can be hard to like yourself when you are always comparing yourself to your peers. It can be difficult to be an individual when to be popular you have to be like everyone else. Yet life isn't always like high school and that will pass. Yet at the time this is a very important time in a child's life. Parents need to remember what that was like so they can offer support.
Parents need to realize how important self esteem is. Teaching children from an early age to find good qualities in themselves is important. It will allow them to be happier and healthier individuals. A poor self esteem can affect a person in many ways. They may decide to drop out of school or have a hard time keeping a job. They may withdraw from other people and turn to vices such as drugs or alcohol to feel comfortable around others.
There has been a great deal of information in recent years to link poor self esteem to those with depression. Counseling is often a very effective tool in order to help with this. Changing behaviors and seeing yourself as others do is the first step of developing your self esteem. Relationships can be detrimental at times to a person's self esteem as well.
For example they may have a partner that calls them names and tells them they are stupid. They may get the impression from them that no one else will ever want them. Over a period of time they come to believe this. The self esteem a person has is very important to their overall happiness and mental stability.
Many experts have the believe that a poor self esteem is directly connected to depression. This is due to the various assessments that are completed in mental health establishments. It is often the poor self esteem that leads a person to withdraw from various types of social situations.
It can also allow them to self destruct various types of relationships. They may not believe that someone so great would actually care about them so they end the relationship. They may continue to push that person away until they decide to leave them. That scenario though tends to just reinforce their belief that they aren't good enough for anyone.
There is a substantial amount of information out there to indicate that the reason so many adolescents in our society suffer from depression is due to their poor self esteem. This is why so many health classes in junior high and high school cover self esteem. They also do various types of activities in order to help students get a better image of themselves. Youths tend to classify themselves by how others see them or how they perceive that others see them.
Many adolescents simply aren't ready for the transitions that will occur. Even a jump from junior high to high school can affect them. In junior high they are an upper classman and have their friends around them. When they enter high school though they are the new kid on the block. Many of their old friends are now scattered and they have to struggle to assess their own identity.
Adults can also suffer from poor self esteem and depression. Yet the fact that most bouts with depression start out in adolescents make sense. Research on groups of adults with depression have found that when they are feel negative about themselves is when the depression is at its worst.
Due to the correlation between self esteem issues and depression, many doctors and mental health professionals now require therapy. They don't want to just give the individual some medication to take. The combination of medication and therapy really seems to help them to reduce the effects of depression and to improve their self esteem.
Literally, your self esteem is the esteem in which you hold yourself. If you perceive yourself to be inadequate, unworthy, unable, etc, you hold yourself in low self esteem. This will probably affect your behavior and how you communicate with other people. You might find it harder to look people straight in the eye, and you might fidget if you feel nervous. People may think of you as nervous or timid and less likely to recommend yourself for a pay rise, or to easily put yourself forward for a promotion. You might also let others walk all over you.
Sometimes we can go through periods when life is a bit tougher, perhaps after a divorce, or relationship breakdown. A situation like this, or perhaps losing a job through a company downsizing or relocating clearly not something for which we can be held to account, can lead to a temporary loss of self-esteem.
So self-esteem is not a fixed thing. Our lives are generally full of change. We begin, as does everyone else, as a child, and very dependent upon our parents and other adults. Part of this dependency is for approval, love and support for nurturing.
If we are fortunate, we are treasured, made to feel comfortable in our achievements and failings. We can't all be top of the class, or make the school sports teams. We may achieve things some of the time, but not all the time. Many people are highly valued in their lives, their work, and their social networks, but this is not dependant upon coming first, getting medals.
If on the other hand we are unfortunate and don't have kind, loving and supportive parents, maybe it is because they don't understand how important self esteem is. It may be that our parents don't have the self confidence to enable them to help us. We learn to assess ourselves also by how our teachers and friends treat us. We might have a great home life, but for some reason get picked on by a bully or group of bullies, and as a result can be scared, and feel our self esteem drop like a stone.
The main thing is to see our self esteem as something that we can affect ourselves. We can learn to recognize when our self esteem is getting a bit delicate, and when we need to give ourselves a boost. Positive thinking and a positive attitude is now recognized as a very valuable tool in managing our lives. This can benefit ourselves individually of course, but it is also important in that it can benefit the lives of those around us, and particularly those who depend on us.
Of course some people appear to have oodles of self esteem really worryingly too much self esteem in fact. They behave as if they are the only people on the planet. This is not a good level of self esteem if it makes a person too selfish or too demanding. If someone doesn't respect the people around them, and only respects themselves, they have an unhealthy level of self esteem.
This unearned self esteem has been linked with bullying, violence and aggression. A too high opinion of ones self can result in unpleasant behavior to others, aggressive language and mannerisms and being overly loud and opinionated. . If we become really only concerned with ourselves, our own rights and entitlements, we are showing signs of excessively high self esteem.
So what we need to aim for is a healthy level of self esteem. Not too much, and not too little. With a healthy level of self esteem, an individual is likely to have a sensible view of their character, their ability, and their potential. Being able to make sensible evaluations of ourselves and others is far less stressful than having an overly high or low view of ourselves.
With a healthy level of self esteem we can more likely maintain calm, rational thought processes and behavior. We can deal with difficult situations more easily if we have a reasonable level of self esteem. We are less likely to become defensive or aggressive, and we are less likely to appear flustered, bombastic or nervous. Calm behavior is likely to result in others feeling more confident in us.
So it is definitely in our interests both in feeling better in ourselves and the realization that others will feel more comfortable in our company, if we have a good level of self esteem, neither too high, nor too low.
Both Ronen David & Allan Wilson are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Ronen David has sinced written about articles on various topics from Depression Cure, Beauty Procedure and Family. Ronen David is the chairman of "Malam" (an Israeli organization supporting and representing those dealing with mental disabilities). He is the author of the "How to Cope With Psychosis & Schizophrenia Self Help Handbook".Visit his web site and learn. Ronen David's top article generates over 368000 views. to your Favourites.
Allan Wilson has sinced written about articles on various topics from Health, Small Business and Home Improvement. Allan Wilson specializes in providing ready made affliliate sites and private label articles. To speed up your website creation results visit Allan's site at: