|
||
Thousands of black singles online have found dates and built relationships.... you can be next. Here's why you might consider trying: You have a busy life, like most professionals you have so much to do and so little time. You don't want to spend hours at a singles bar "hoping" to meet someone. You definitely have too much class to pick up someone in a nightclub or bar. With black singles online personals only a few minutes are required to search new ads, check your email, respond, all from the comfort and safety of your own home.
Online personals allow you to quickly and easily meet the kind of black singles you are attracted to and share something in common. You can select the age, city, education etc. For more in depth selection, you should really take the time to answer all questions honestly and accurately in terms of who YOU are and WHOM you are seeking. The clarity must be in your mind for it to manifest online. This will keep you from being played and eliminate those who are not worthy of your time. Online dating is ideal if you are tired of meeting the same type of people at the places you hang out and you have no idea where or how to find a different breed of black single...your kind of person.
How about safety? Online personals are safer than meeting singles at bars or night clubs, even safer than in church to some degree. Churches are notorious for picking up sanctified women (and men). Most people let their guard down in church. Believe me, the players and playettes are counting on your doing just that.
By taking your TIME you can protect your identity until you are sure you want to take the relationship to the next level. There should be no rush to meet anyone online. The medium is one that you can CONTROL. Do not allow anyone to take this from you. Do not “meet” someone if you are unsure or unready to do so. TAKE YOUR TIME! By talking to each other via email, you can feel your new friend out, see what makes them laugh and how they deal with day to day living. Time gaps may be just hard work or may be they are really in a committed relationship and don't want you to know. Keep your emails to keep track of information given until you actually meet face to face. Most people who are players will slip up several times over a month or two. It helps if you can catch them ahead of time.
All this would sound as if I am opposed to online dating. That could not be further from the truth. I have my own online dating website, Classy Black Singles. What I really would want is you not use online dating as a substitute for good common sense. Graduate from email to phone conversation. You should be able to really TALK with someone even if they (or you) are shy. Liking someone from the heart tends to loosen those lips. That is when those long, long conversations come into play. Even men who “claim” they don't talk do and WILL talk to the right woman! When you feel comfortable, arrange for a meeting in a public place. Leave your information with at least one other person. And when you meet that special someone and wedding bells are ringing, please by all means come back to me and let me know. I love to hear love success stories!
1. Gentlemen, if you meet a woman online that you actually decide you're going to see after that initial first date, great. If after a week of dating that woman she tells you that she loves you, run! This is your typical, garden variety needy, stalker cling-a-lot. She'll cause you nothing but grief and sleepless nights as you worry about whether you'll come home to find your dog boiling on the stove.
2. Ladies, if you meet a guy online that you actually decide that you're going to see after that initial first date, great. If after a week of dating that dude, he tells you that he loves you, run! This is also an example of your typical, garden variety, needy, stalker cling-a-lot. He'll cause you nothing but grief, and sleepless nights of erasing his wacko stalker messages from your voicemail.
3. Ladies, if you meet a guy online, who looks more like a homeless man in person, he probably is. If he doesn't want you to see his car, run. I spoke with a woman, who met a dude who parked so far away on their first date that this woman couldn't get a look at his car at all. He showed up to the date in grubby clothing, and couldn't be verbally clear about exactly what it was that he did for a living. Needless to say, she never saw him again.
4. In the online dating process, people lie. Don't shoot the messenger; I'm just speaking the truth. Generally they lie to make themselves seem more attractive to members of the opposite sex. But for some reason, they don't think about what the opposite sex is going to think or do, when they actually have to meet. What are you going to do when she sees that you're not actually 6'2”? How are you going to explain why you lied, without looking like a jackass? At that point, it's already too late. Rule #1 says “Anyone who will lie about something as obvious as his/her height or weight, will lie about anything else.” It's true. Listen to it. Remember it. Adopt it like a religion people.
5. Remember gentlemen, women look at everything. Don't think you can put one over on her with those beat up Nikes. If you told her that you have a good job, make decent money, don't live at home with mom and dad, but you show up to the first date in a ratty old, shredded leather jacket, and a sweater and pants that look like you just pulled them from a Goodwill bin, she'll walk. And she should.
6. Ladies, if he shows up to that first date, looking as though he just rolled out of bed, run.
7. If he's already seated at the restaurant/coffee shop when you get there, and he doesn't stand up to acknowledge you in some way (ie. a handshake...), leave. This guy's got something to hide with regard to his physical appearance. It's either his third trimester beer gut, or the fact that he's actually 4'11” tall. Just get atta' there.
8. Ladies, if you meet him for the first time, and he wants to split the bill, walk. But if it's your decision to pay for your own coffee or lunch...great!
9. If he's already been married four times girls...need I say more?
10. If he/she still has a close relationship with his/her ex (unless they have kids, in which case he/she should be close to the kids, not the ex), maybe you it's best to keep looking.
Chris A. Cameron.
Copyright 2006 Chris A. Cameron All Rights Reserved