I wish I could claim authorship of that line. I do not know who wrote it, but it is worth repeating:
It happens to all of us. We say one thing, and then take actions that directly contradict what we say. During a speaking engagement last week a woman in my audience said that she wanted to lose weight and to live a healthy lifestyle. When I asked her what actions she was taking in that direction, she said none. She confessed that she goes home from work and watches television for hours each day. How committed do you think she is to getting what she wants? In some cases, we ourselves are the only ones who suffer from our failure to live up to our words. In many other cases, our failure affects the people around us.
John, a gregarious middle-aged man, had an extensive social network. Many people liked him and considered him a close friend. His friends were comfortable confiding in him because they believed he would treat their confidences with discretion. John felt good knowing that his friends trusted him so much.
Unfortunately, though, John often broke his promises of discretion. While he said he would keep friends' confidences to himself, he did not always do so. He developed the reputation of a gossip. His cherished friends no longer trust him. They stopped sharing personal matters with him because what he said was inconsistent with the way he acted. John taught his friends to doubt his integrity. As they learned this lesson, he began to question his own trustworthiness.
I see repeated examples of such breaches of integrity. Clients tell me about similar situations causing conflicts in families, in church groups and in organizations. Almost all of us can recall having had this kind of experience. A breakdown of integrity causes loss of trust. Loss of trust causes reticence, unwillingness to communicate, which in turn undermines relationships. We naturally want to avoid this kind of threat to our friendships and professional associations. We have to "walk the walk" rather than simply "talking the talk." As we take more care to "practice what we preach", we become that much more trustworthy.
? In what ways do your actions contradict your words? ? How do these contradictions affect you? ? How do they affect others? ? What steps can you take to rebuild your personal and inter-personal integrity?
Remember, we are all human. We all make mistakes. Our goal is to become aware of our mistakes. Once aware, we must act quickly to correct any negative effects our behavior has caused.
I am interested in your thoughts and comments about this article. Is it helpful? Why? Why not? Go to the blog posted on my website and let me know your thoughts.
Copyright (c) 2006 Bill Pullen
I knew an ineffective leader who tried to lead by decree instead of by example. He would do things like mandate that the entire organization had to wear a particular dress code on Fridays which had previously been casual day. Then he would show up in sweat pants--completely disregarding his own mandate.
Another leader of a large non-profit organization was trying to cut costs so he laid off a large percentage of the workers. Then he spent $50,000 remodeling his office and corporate apartment. The amount the had saved by laying off the employees was huge compared to the cost of the remodel, but it didn't matter. Employees saw that he was saying they needed to save money, but he wasn't willing to curb his own expenses.
Other leaders get on to their subordinates for not being at work on time, but the leader them self doesn't show up until 10am or later. They feel that they are so important that the rule shouldn't apply to them. It doesn't work like that. People are going to follow the leaders example more than following what is said. Even if they outwardly follow the instruction instead of the example, they will make up for it in other ways that hurt productivity.
There was another organization that couldn't figure out why all the middle managers would just come and go as they pleased. It was difficult to find anyone who could make a decision and the managers would often come in late, take a two hour lunch, and then leave early. It turned out that the managers were watching the CEO, who did the same thing. They were all trying to emulate his actions and that included keeping very irregular hours and sometimes not coming in at all. Some of the managers tried to fix the problem by installing a time clock system, but it had very little impact because it didn't look at the root of the problem.
People will usually listen to what you say, but they really pay attention to what you do. You can't say one thing and do another if you want to be effective as a leader. Just because you think you are more important than your subordinates doesn't mean that they are going to assume you don't have to follow any of your own rules.
What you say is important. However if your actions are different than your words people will assume the actions are what is true.
Article Source :
About Author
Both Bill Pullen & Mark Shead are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Bill Pullen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Leadership. Pullen Associates is a coaching and consulting firm whose mission it is to help people be leaders in their families, communities, organizations and the world.. Bill Pullen's top article generates over 18100 views. to your Favourites.
Mark Shead has sinced written about articles on various topics from Debt Consolidation, Finances and Travel and Leisure. Leadership501 is a website with resources for leaders and people in management positions. Please visit to find out more about. Mark Shead's top article generates over 18100 views. to your Favourites.