Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.
We often grow up believing various misconceptions about anger, such as:
v Nice people do not get angry.
v We might lose control or go crazy if we share our anger.
v If someone gets angry with us, we must have done something wrong.
v People will not love us anymore if we get angry.
v Its okay to get angry if we can justify our feelings.
These misconceptions do not work for us in our day-to-day relationships. So, what do we do with our built up anger? Well, we tend to do one of two things with it. Either we hold on to it or we act it out in inappropriate ways. By holding on to our anger, we eventually struggle with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and /or physical kinds of problems such as headaches or ulcers. If we explode with our anger, we may say or do things we eventually come to regret. Neither of these approaches will work for us.
First, we need to be aware of a few ideas about anger. We have a right to feel angry. Other people also have a right to feel angry. But we need to deal with our anger in appropriate ways. Dealing with our stored anger may take time and effort. Learning to appropriately express our anger takes patience.
Here are some ideas on how to deal with anger:
Allow yourself and others to feel angry. Acknowledge your thoughts associated with your anger. Look for patterns in which anger usually occurs. Identify areas where you need change. Practice talking openly and honestly about anger without acting on it. Take responsibility for your anger. Other people are not in charge of your feelings. Use physical outlets such as playing ball or yard work to release some emotional energy. Write a letter to the person with whom you are angry, but do not mail it. This helps to deal with anger without anyone ever knowing.
As we begin to deal appropriately with our anger, we need to be easy with ourselves. This is especially true if we have been holding onto our anger for a long time. Do not overly focus on anger or look for reasons to become angry. Remember to be patient and to allow some mistakes, because this is how we learn.
Our anger is okay to express when we need to.
In these trying times it's imperative to stay motivated.Change your mind and you change your circumstances.Change your thinking and you can change your life.
How do you do that? Here are 8 essentials for creating balance:
1. Focus on what you have, not on what you don't have. There will always be someone worse off than you. Whether they're facing a financial crisis, health problems, grief and loss, or something else. If you know someone like this, think of one thing you could do to help them.
For example, there's someone at my church who recently lost his father. A group of us decided to take food to the family. Helping someone gets your mind off your problems. And it makes you grateful for what you do have. You start focusing on the positive. As Denis Waitley says, "You are either the captive or the captain of your thoughts."
2. Feed your strengths, starve your weaknesses. Researchers note the average person has 50,000 thoughts a day. Most of those thoughts are negative. Your mind is like a computer or the crew on a ship. And what orders you give it will determine what you get.
What you dwell on becomes your destiny. What you focus on the longest becomes the strongest. Spend as much time as possible in a job, or in your life in general, in areas that utilize your strengths. Work doesn't have to be a four-letter word!
3. Practice self-control, self-discipline and a strong work ethic. This is a paradox, but doing the things you like least first helps in creating balance. Practicing good work habits, especially early in the day frees up time later on for doing things you enjoy. And you feel more deserving.
The most successful people are those willing to do what others don't want to do. They've mastered the challenge of overcoming procrastination. Live by the motto, "Just do it.Not by the tongue-in-cheek saying I saw on a t-shirt in Hawaii recently which said, "Just do it-tomorrow"."
4. Decide what really matters. Make a list of those activities and individuals that put a spring in your step. What gives you energy and makes you laugh?
For example, spending time with my boyfriend's family is terrific because they're hilarious. I always have belly-aching laughs when I'm with them. Laughter really is the best medicine. Conversely, what detracts from your life and drags you down? Start phasing those things out of your life.
5. Focus on having fun. No matter busy and stressful your days, schedule some time for fun. In creating balance, what makes you happy? For instance, this weekend my man and I are taking our dogs on a day trip to Flagstaff, Arizona. Being at 7,000 feet in the pines helps me "fill the well." There's nothing like crisp mountain air and the smell of the pines to make me forget the cares of the world.
6. Spend time in silence. Make an effort to get more sleep. Studies have shown getting enough sleep helps reduce cravings for carbs and sweets. Temporarily turn off your cell phone, Blackberry, TV or car stereo. Before bed spend quiet time in prayer or meditation.
7. People-pleasers: Learn to say no. Or, if there's something you must do, ask for support. Don't try and do it all yourself.
8. Concentrate single-mindedly on one task until it's complete. Stop multitasking. Sometimes when you try to do 10 things at once, you end the day not having completed anything.
Lastly, it's been said that survivors of emotional, physical, or circumstantial difficulties practice eight things: strong spiritual belief, sense of humor, strong support system, a connection to nature, goals, proper nutrition, openness to new ideas, and get sufficient rest and exercise. In creating balance, which of these can you create today?
Both Mark Webb & Colleen Kettenhofen are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Mark Webb has sinced written about articles on various topics from Dating and Romance, Cure Anxiety and Marriage. Mark Webb is the author of How To Be a Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships?. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 value). Just visit his website at. Mark Webb's top article generates over 40500 views. to your Favourites.
Colleen Kettenhofen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Fitness, Difficult people and Leadership. Colleen Kettenhofen is an Arizona motivational keynote speaker, author, and presentation skills trainer. She has spoken in 47 states and six countriesfor top corporations and associations since 1995. Topics: managing people,leadership, difficult people, l. Colleen Kettenhofen's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.