My Grandma was thinking about car leasing when she unknowingly left some hot chocolate sauce simmering away on the stove one hot summer day back in 1994.
She was actually picking carrots at the time while I was taking advantage of the space indoors, speeding around the kitchen on my segway. I was pacing around our kitchen like steve irwin chasing the worlds most dangerous lizard, what a man, what a legend. Anyway...
You should have me, I was having an absolute blast when suddently I skidded to avoid a baby roo that had found its way into the house. I fell straight onto the hot sauce. Ouch!
Before I could perform an Irwin's dive away from the rattler's venom, I was covered in boiling liquid. I was sat on the kitchen floor holding my face when my Grandma returned from the yard.
I couldn't believe that she didn't even warn me about the hot pan that now had attracted 60% burns to my face, what a clown.
When I learnt that she had been day dreaming about car leasing and not looking after the sauce, I was pretty outraged. I gathered her things and slung her out onto the street then got on my silky segway and rode all the way to visit Karl my GP.
As I was looking like a firework had just gone off in my face, I decided against riding home on my seg. Instead I called a cab. When I got home, My Granny was actually lighting last years bonfire night showpiece rocket towards our letterbox. Unreal.
seeing as I had calmed down now, I asked her what she was playing at before. Apparently the idea about car leasing had distracted her, to the extent she had lost some more marbles in that brain of hers.
Unbelievable, the old girl was crazy, I needed help. To solve her mind boggling problems, the very next day I contacted a great car leasing service who helped me fix my Grandma and finally stopped her constant bloody complaining so I can get on my segway to travel the world 12.5 miles per hour.