But it's not just women. Ten years ago women spent ten times more than men did on beauty products. Now we spend four times more.

From deodorants to sunscreens, Americans use an average of seven skin care products daily. Supposedly, women in Shanghai, China use twenty. If that's true, Mary Kay is turning Red China pink.

Lipstick shades go from Playful Pink to Passionate Purple, but none of them last as long on my lips as they do on the rim of my coffee cup. My grandmother didn't believe in using lipstick. If women wanted their mouths to look better, she thought they should smile.

I smile when I see the promises made by hair care products. There are shampoos to make hair curlier and straighter. There are conditioners to make it less frizzy, fuller and shinier. I buy whatever is on sale. Basically, hair is protection for my body. I'd rather spend my money on my body - and I do.

Laugh lines, scowl lines and character lines are euphemisms for wrinkles; and the price of anti-wrinkle cream is enough to cause me more lines - worry lines. The good news is there's an impartial website that rates the top ten anti-wrinkle creams. The bad news is mine isn't one of them.

Fifty years ago Marilyn Monroe would have been rated one of the world's most beautiful women. By today's standards she'd be considered short and chubby. She'd be in the "but doesn't she have a pretty face" category.

Models have to have more than pretty faces. They have to be tall. I'm never going to be 5'10". If I added three inches to my height by wearing heels, I wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Models also have to be thin. Some resort to cocaine. Others become anorexic or bulimic. Let's face it. Models don't model real life.

In China girls' feet were bound because tiny feet were a sign of beauty. In Africa women made their lips bigger by putting plates in them. They made their necks longer by wearing more neck bands. Thankfully, things have changed. Eventually thin won't be in - but fat chance that will happen in my lifetime.