We all believe that we would never date someone who is married and agree to be "the other woman" or "the other man" but this happens quite a bit. Many times we meet someone that we really like, we enjoy spending time with them, and when we are emotionally invested that is when we learn that they are married. In other instances we just ignore our typical moral judgments and we continue to date the person who is married despite what we have always told ourselves.
Dating someone who is married can be challenging in many respects, especially if they are still married and living with someone who doesn't know that they are seeing you! You may find that it is a bit exciting at first, because sometimes it can be very exciting to do things "on the down low" and be the mysterious person that your love interest sneaks away to. After awhile though, it will start to become bothersome to most people because they cannot see their lover when they want to, and they can't call when they want to, and you may even end up spending holidays by yourself.
Sneaking around is only fun for awhile and then it becomes a burden. When we really like someone we want the world to know that we are with them and when you are dating someone who is married it is really difficult to do this. When sneaking around stops being fun you have two options. The first option is just to stop seeing the person and go on your way. You can let them know that it was fun while it lasted but that you are not willing to continue leading a life that is a lie. The other option is to keep dealing with it.
Many married people who are dating outside of their marriage continue to say that they will leave their spouse if you just give them time. If you want to give the person the benefit of the doubt you can always give them a bit of time, but don't assume that they will do this. This is often a stall tactic. Another thing that you have to remember is that if a person was willing to cheat with you, they are probably willing to cheat on you.
Is this the type of person you really want to invest any more time and energy on? This is not to say that you can't have real feelings for a married person, it's just a fact that most relationships that start in an affair end the same way and this really is just not worth it for most people. There are plenty of single people who can provide you with a great experience all around.
If you're anything like me, you learned a lot about dating and marriage from the world. The ways of the world are so enticing. They feel so good they just can't be wrong. But when you tried them, you discovered that the world's idea of dating causes a lot more broken relationships than it does successful ones.
As Christians, we know that broken relationships are a tragedy. Someone always gets hurt. And those wounds often leave deep scars. It happens so frequently today that many of us have become battle hardened. As a result, some run away from relationships. But some people actually develop cravings for the battle. That's why we have such problems with perversions and criminal acts today.
The world tells us that the physical side of the relationship should come first. Even the way we find relationships is based on physical attraction, sizing each other up, and I've even heard people talk about the other person's smell. It gets pretty ridiculous.
But there is a better way. And it starts with how we handle relationships with the opposite gender from the very beginning.
Many Christians have turned to courting instead of dating because of how it encourages two people to get to know each other. But even courting has its problems. I know many people who have the same scars from courting as others get from dating.
Why? Because courting has behind it a purpose -- marriage. When that purpose isn't fulfilled, there's a broken relationship, wounds, and scars.
Courting is a great way to move through the period between friendship and engagement. But too many people take short cuts through friendship because of a deep desire to be connected to someone else.
But doing so can be a disaster. The friendship phase of a relationship should be the longest phase. It's a time to get to know the other person. Find out what their likes and dislikes are. How they respond to different problems. Do they solve problems biblically? Are they willing to compromise in areas that you aren't? And it's a great time to evaluate without any pressure of dating/courting, engagement, or marriage. Thoughts about these can easily skew our judgment.
Spending a lot of time in the friendship phase doesn't always guarantee successful relationships. There is no perfect formula when it comes to fallen people. But it can help you keep things in their proper perspective and protect you from too many deep battle scars. It also lays a super foundation for your relationship with the one you do end up marrying.
And whether you're married or still single, remember that you should always base your friendships on service (serving your friends) and building them up in the Lord. Married couples often say their spouse is their best friend, but then turn around and tear them down at every opportunity. That's the world's view of relationships. Avoid it!
Both Rodrigo Rehn & Steve Kroening are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Rodrigo Rehn has sinced written about articles on various topics from Online Dating, About Web Hosting and Marriage. Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert, Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance for singles.. Rodrigo Rehn's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.
Steve Kroening has sinced written about articles on various topics from Investments, Asthma and Health. Steve Kroening writes for Success magazine and also publishes Wisdom's Edge. You can get Biblical tips on health, finance, relationships, parenting, and success, delivered to your email inbox every week. Simply visit. Steve Kroening's top article generates over 27100 views. to your Favourites.