Anyone tired of online dating? I have heard that over 40 million people in the USA alone will log onto an online dating or matchmaking website during the course of a year. You would think with that many single people it would be like shooting ducks in a barrel.. Wrong! As a 49 year old man, with a 16 year old son, being single has been an absolute nightmare to say the least. The only thing worse than online dating is in- person dating. All joking aside, The fact of the matter is that at my age I am too old to go the bars and nightclubs filled with men and women young enough to be my children. Even if I did go out, what would be the point? Time and maturity (and wrinkles and gray hair) have made that not an appealing option. I have another problem. I am self-employed, and work out of my home which is very isolated. I don't even have to get dressed let alone dressed up. Moreover, I am incurably shy. I was the one that made the girl ask me to dance in high school and even then tried to get out of it.

On the good side, I have diagnosed the problems pretty well. The internet craze and subsequent birth of online dating in early 1999, was like a Godsend. For me it was a no-brainer. I had nothing to lose, except possibly $19.95 which could be refundable if I were a totally dissatisfied client. At that time I had just filed for divorce and was separated so I joined one of the leading dating sites. It was very easy to join, I simply filled out a questionnaire about my age, eye and hair color, height, weight, body type etc. At that time, I was actually truthful about my age which was 42. I also wrote a profile about my hobbies, work, interests and also the qualities I wanted in a woman. I had a fairly recent picture which I scanned and then paid the money for a 30 day trial. Literally within minutes I started receiving e-mails from women filled with compliments and interest in getting to know me better. I remember thinking that my dating worries were finally over. I was so excited I started thinking about marriage, children, white picket fence..and walking hand in hand into the sunset together. Here I was waiting for beautiful, single, sexy women to contact me without even leaving my home. It was unbelievable. That first couple of weeks were unforgettable. I was getting about ten e-mails a day from otherwise unattainable women living within just a few miles of my home. They were the most flattering messages I had ever seen. Some wanted to talk immediately and gave their numbers, others actually wanted to meet in person that day! My divorce wasn't even final yet!

I was overwhelmed with all the attention and adoration. I had not had this many women after me since the time I accidentally walked into the girls bathroom in grade school.

As with most of us when learning a new trade, I made many blunders along the way. For one thing, I never kept files or any sort of managed dating notes about all the conversations and e-mail exchanges. I would jot down numbers and names on pieces of scrap paper sitting next to the pile of papers on my messy desktop. I was attempting to just shoot from the hip and see how things went. Being memory challenged did not help either. I was constantly losing names, numbers, and appointments. The problem was I had too many women and not enough time. I was never the type of guy that juggled women well, and I usually got caught if I ever did anything worth getting caught over. I also have a morality streak which does not allow me to lie to a person who I know is trusting me. What I did have in my favor was some sales genes inherited from my father, ample charm, and I cleaned up pretty good. In the beginning due to the stigma attached to ?lonely hearts clubs? I decided to keep this new thing a secret and just see if in fact I could actually find true love. If I did find love I could make a pact to fabricate a good story as to how we met and no one would be the wiser.

After coming off the pink cloud I decided that even as shy as I was, this was too good an opportunity to pass up so I started meeting people within a few weeks of joining. After talking on the phone, I made plans with a woman to meet at a nearby coffee house. I remember I had seen her photo which was quite attractive but I asked her what she would wear so I would not need to look foolish as I entered the place. As I come into the coffeehouse, I see my date out of the corner of my eye sitting there waiting for me. She was huge! She saw me right away and immediately greeted me with a hug. During our conversation she said she had just broken up with her boyfriend and put on some weight under the stress. Needless to say I was a little disappointed but decided that maybe the rest would be better. They were not.

One of the first words I learned about was ?chemistry?. This apparently, is what every single woman MUST feel in order to continue in a romantic path. In other words, if she does not feel ?chemistry? within seconds of meeting you, you are out of luck. I have heard several different definitions of the word, but generally it has nothing to do with science. Here is Webster's definition: a strong mutual attraction, attachment, or sympathy.