Do you want to change? Do you have problems in your life? Would you like to change some traits of your personality that you don't like? For all these questions, I answer that change is possible. Change denotes the time period or transition that occurs between one state to another. This period of transition can be very short or very long depending of the nature of the change.
NLP gave us tools and resources we will use to change effectively. Follow the next 4 steps to change anything you want in life.
1. Believe that your can change. Tony Robbins, like a lot of other NLP experts, said: beliefs shape your destiny. Indeed, what you believe will dictate the way you think, the way you feel and the way you act. In this way, beliefs act like a huge magnet that will attract everything around you that is in accordance with your dominant thoughts or beliefs. If you don't think that you can change; if you believe that “It's just the way I am”, your first step would be to find how you can change that belief. Because who told you that? Where did you learn that you can't change? Will this belief help you in any way in the future? Imagine you're at your funeral and look back and see all the opportunities you missed because of a simple limiting belief “I can't change”, how would you feel?
2. Decide to change today. Don't procrastinate. Decide. Decision can be hard, especially if you know that if you change, you won't be the same person anymore. Does that thought scare you? What if you become a better person? What if you start realizing your full potential? Would that be awful? Decide today and say “Yes, I will find a way.”
3. Research how to change. Research how to go from point A to point B. Go to the Internet and do some research. Searching for answers is easy if you focus on what you're searching for. You will always find if you search; because finding is reserved for those who search. It's not reserved for lazy people. “Search and it will be given unto you” says the ancient scripture. Do you believe that?
4. Act and change. Once you have found how to go from point A to point B, it's time to walk the path of change. Like any path, you may have challenges. But you exactly know what you want. Go for it and avoid the problem you want to change. Be proactive or follow the path of someone who already did it. Action is inevitable. Action is mandatory. Do you believe that?
NLP has offered a lot of ways to handle change effectively. NLP, hypnosis and neuro-semantics has modeled different ways to change limiting thinking and limiting beliefs. You can change by first believing you can change, deciding you will change, researching how to change and doing something to change. You will succeed because you deserve it.
Two words only - You Want.
Human beings; You and I, are goal-seeking machines. Well, maybe 'machines' is too crude a word to use. Our brains are goal-seeking mechanisms.
Now let's think about this thing called "You Want"-ism. Let's say you want to be a more confident speaker.
What (effective) questions can you ask yourself that will lead you to the right thinking that in turn will lead you to the right decisions and the right actions, and lastly to your desired goal (becoming a more confident speaker)?
3 questions, actually.
"3 Questions To Rule Them All," I'd say.
These 3 questions are the most important, and they are like templates for ANY goal or outcome you want to achieve.
The 3 Questions are "Why must I", "How can I" and "What if I".
So you ask yourself these questions:
"Why must I become a more confident speaker?"
"How can I become a more confident speaker?"
"What if I am a more confident speaker?"
Can you see the pattern? Do you get the picture?
Let's take a magnifying glass and see why these 3 are the most important questions you can ask yourself.
First one, the "Why must I". Why is such a powerful question, in fact, the most powerful question, because it is the arrow that points you to your purpose.
When you have a powerful enough purpose, a highly motivating reason, a great cause, it will supply you with enough drive, energy, resilience, perseverance, whatsoever to almost literally push (if not shove) you to go out there and achieve your goal.
A great purpose, reason or cause (terms used interchangeably) is like the battery for your goal-seeking machine. If you have a powerful and long-lasting battery (Duracell, Energizer), your actions will reflect that amount of energy and in turn trigger the potent forces that will attain you your goal.
Next, the "How can I".
For the mean-time, you may not really know how you're going to go about doing the actions needed to reach your outcome. Don't worry. You will find a way, if you got your first question, the "Why must I", right. And I'm not going to go into detail about how your unconscious will suddenly give you the answer you need.
The "How can I" is like the keywords you type into the Google search engine that is in your head. Unlike Google which takes a few seconds to display results (and even some that are irrelevant), your mental search engine may take anywhere from a split second to a few months (even years) to find the answers. Hey, I never said it was easy!
And once found, the answer to your "How can I" question is like a computer program, an algorithm, a specific set of actions to take, that will lead you to your desire. It shows you the way, it enlightens the path that you must take to get to your destination.
So your goal-seeking machine now has an in-built processor. First, it has a battery, the "Why can I". Second, it has a computer program, the "How can I".
Next, we have the "What if I".
The "What if I" question sends a command to your brain to generate a mental picture of your end goal. This is more effective than simply a visualisation as it draws upon the sharp focusing quality of questions to extract focused, detailed answers.
As you ask yourself the "What if I" question, you are telling your mind to come up with perceptions of possibilities, details, outcomes and results, in terms of your five or six senses.
It gives you an idea of -
What you will see when you have this goal. What you will hear when you have this goal. What you will feel, smell, taste etc. when you have this goal.
For your goal-seeking machine, the "What if I" is like a 3D multimedia model, or blueprint, of your desired outcome. It needs to know what the final product will look like and be like. Only then can it go on and create it.
So you have a battery, the computer program algorithm and the blueprint. All you need to do now is to flick the button to switch it on. Now that switch is called action. Without it, everything else is useless.
Both Emmanuel Segui & Mohamad Latiff Bin Rahim are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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