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[D128]Deep Purple Bad Attitude
by Brent Filson, Bre
"I was always saying, 'he hate me,' all through camp in Vegas," Smart said. "If I didn't get the ball, I'd talk to the other running backs and say, 'He hate me, man; this coach hate me.' I was always saying that."

Smart put He Hate Me on the back of his number 32 jersey, and now the name lives in lore, though XFL has been out of business for years.

When I first saw Rod Smart play and his "He Hate Me" jersey, I thought, "Forget about football. That's a leadership lesson!" That's because "He Hate Me" and leadership often go hand-in-hand.

Clearly, leadership is not about winning a popularity contest, it's about getting results -- not just average results but more results faster continually. To lead people to get the latter, you often must challenge them to do not want they want to do but what they don't want to do.

That's where "He Hate Me" comes in. When you move people from being comfortable getting average results to being uncomfortable doing what's needed to get great results, strong feelings, hatred and anger, are often triggered. Having people resent you, even hate you, comes with the territory of being a leader. In fact, if you are not getting a portion of the people you lead angry with you, you may not be challenging them enough.

This does not mean you consecrate their anger and let it fester. You absolutely must deal with it. After all, you can't motivate angry, resentful, "He Hate Me" people to be your cause leaders.

Here is my four-step process to help you deal with angry people you lead. (1) RECOGNIZE. (2) IDENTIFY. (3) VALIDATE. (4)TRANSLATE.

RECOGNIZE: Recognize that if you don't face up to the anger of the people you lead, that anger will eventually wind up stabbing you in the back.

Many leaders could care less about people's anger. They say in effect: "People should do what I tell them to do. Period. Their feelings are irrelevant." If 'my-way-or-the-highway' is your way of leading, don't engage in this process. I submit, however, that such leadership is far less effective than the leadership that motivates people to be your ardent cause leaders.

Making motivation happen involves first understanding if people are angry with you or not. Often, people won't tell you they are angry. They'll try hide it from you either out of embarrassment, trepidation, or wanting a sense of control.

Here are ways you can recognize that people are angry with you. The first is that you can see it on their faces or their body language. The second is that you can tell it in a drop off in their performance. The third is that you hear from other people they are angry. The fourth is they actually show you and tell you they are angry.

IDENTIFY: Identify the causes of their anger. This may not be as simple or as easy as you think. They may be angry, but they may not want to talk about why they are angry or even admit to you that they are. Don't back them in a corner. Don't make judgments. Don't get angry yourself. Get interested. Don't say, for instance, "You're angry ... " Instead, ask open-ended questions like, "Are you angry with me?" -- a question that seems on the surface only slightly different but that will make a big difference in the consequences of your interactions with them.

Once you and they have identified that they are angry, come to an agreement as to the actual reasons why. Drill through superficial reasons to the bedrock of why. They may say they are angry because you are giving them more work to do. But digging further, you may find out that they believe the supposed extra work will set them up for failure, and they might lose their jobs. So, they are really angry not simply for work-load reasons but for job security reasons.

VALIDATE: Validate their anger. Their anger is real and important to them. It's who they perceive themselves to be (at the moment they feel angry) in their relationship with you. Many people embrace their anger. They may see it as the one thing that they can control in an environment in which they feel out of control. If you try to ignore that anger or belittle it, they will feel you are belittling them.
Tell them that you know they are angry and that you want to find out why. Avoid saying things like, "I know you're angry ... but ... " That "but" can harden them against you. Saying, "Help me understand why you feel angry about what I'm doing." can get you farther than the "but." This is not to condone their anger nor approve of it but simply to come to an agreement with them that it exists and that you intend to do something about it in a way that will be mutually beneficial.

TRANSLATE: Their anger is your opportunity, an opportunity to translate their anger into your results. Because, as you'll see, their anger can be great raw material for results.

People get angry for many reasons. * Their time is being wasted. * Their individual worth is not respected. * They feel threatened. * Their efforts are not appreciated. 5. They are not given voice or choice in their work. * Their values are not recognized or given credence. * Their leaders cannot do their jobs well. * Their leaders focus on their own needs. * Their leaders don't understand and acknowledge their needs. * Their leaders don't provide clear direction. * They are being overworked. 11. They are being set up to fail.

Here is a process for translating their anger into your results.

I call it the problem/solution/action process. The key to this process is that people's anger usually stems from an unresolved problem. A. With their help, identify the problem. B. Come to an agreement with them as to the causes of that problem. C. Help them find a solution. D. Challenge them to take action to solve the problem. E. Link that action to increases in results.

You can apply this process to any of the aforementioned reasons people get angry. As an example, let's apply it to the first reason. Often, a key challenge in getting others to take new action is their complaining you are wasting their time.

A. Draw up two lists, one composed of the aspects of their job they believe waste their time, and the other of the aspects they feel are crucial.

B. Come to an agreement with them on which aspects are truly a waste of their time and which aren't. Without such agreement, they may remain angry with you. For instance, they may feel that their having to complete a particular report or aspects of that report wastes their time. If you think that such reports are absolutely essential, you cannot continue this process unless you convince them that the reports are essential or that you will change them to make them essential.

C. Once you come to that agreement, work on each aspect in the "waste of time" list by applying this analytical tool: Decide if you want to leave it alone, change it, or eliminate it. There is no fourth choice!

D. If you have chosen to change it, have them suggest actions they will take to do so. Note the sequence here. Your first step in changing an aspect is to elicit from them what needs to be changed and the actions required to affect the change. If need be, you can always veto their choice. But if you first let them make that choice, you may find that they have delineated actions that tap a new vein of results. At the very least, they will be committed to those actions, since they go right to the heart of solving the problem of their anger.

E. Link those actions to increases in results. For instance, now that they have reduced, eliminated or changed a particular aspect of their job that was a problem for them, how will that translate into money saved/earned?

Be advised: You may be confronted by "professionally angry" people who will be angry and stay angry no matter what you do. Just being you or just being a leader or just being you as a leader gets them angry, and nothing you can do or say seems to change that. But keep working the four-step process. It's your best way of remedying even the "professionals" anger.

2006 (c) The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

You have someone in the team who's underperforming. You notice; other team members are noticing, and it's already causing underlying tensions and friction. Left untackled, this problem can take up masses of your time and energy, leaving you frustrated and struggling to juggle all the other important aspects of your role.

Before you wade in and tackle the individual, just take a moment to see if you fall into any of the following traps which can either help create a poor attitude, or exacerbate an existing one.

Trap one: Turning a blind eye You're picking up the signs that all is not well, but you hope the problem will go away. You decide to "leave well alone" and feel uncomfortable and reluctant to spend time dealing with this.

Result? Performance problems tend to build up. There's a strong possibility others in the team will have noticed, which might affect morale or your own credibility as a manager. Bottom line - when you take your head out of the sand, the problem will still be there - but probably bigger!

Trap two: Shifting the problem! Have you ever been guilty of seeing if you can pass the problem on to someone else? Put them on a "special project" or transfer to another team?

Result? Whilst this can resolve the situation temporarily, you're storing up a whole host of problems for later on! The team you've transferred the individual to may not thank you! And what sort of hidden message are you sending the rest of your team if they feel someone is being given special treatment despite underperforming, or displaying a poor attitude? Most importantly, the individual will blithely continue unchanged, and unaware there is even an issue!

Trap three: Playing Mr. Nice Guy You pride yourself on being a real "people person", offering support and development to staff. Conflict makes you feel a little uneasy and uncomfortable.

Result: Whilst a key role of any manager is to support, encourage and develop his team, sometimes this just isn't enough, and more may be needed. Adults can sometimes be a little like children! If you don't set clear expectations and boundaries and stick to them, there will always be some who will use this to manipulate or take advantage.

Trap four: Delegating the problem Are you tempted to hand this over to HR or someone higher up? Sometimes this may be necessary - but almost always as a last resort, when other tactics have failed. And handing it to a colleague who you feel might be sympathetic or who is a good friend, isn't a good idea either.

Result: You lose your credibility as a manager, and this situation will almost certainly arise again. Are you always going to delegate?

Trap five: Taking the part of judge and jury. We all do it - making snap judgements about people, or jumping to conclusions. If you've already mentally labelled someone as a "good" or "bad" performer, this will colour your ability to take an objective view of the situation.

Result: The biggest problem with this trap is it gets personal. Label someone "lazy", or "poor performer" for example, and their barriers will go up. Any hope of constructive discussion is blocked.

Quick tip solutions: - Touch base with staff more regularly so you pick up early warning signs. - Nip things in the bud! The moment you notice performance slipping - take the bull by the horns, express your concern as specifically as you can (vague comments are totally unhelpful!), and once you've said what behaviour or attitudes are concerning you - shut up and listen! The more you show you are willing to listen and understand, the easier it will be to work towards a solution which leaves everyone feeling positive. - Don't make it personal! Focus on the behaviour which is causing the issue. Be able to explain it in neutral, factual language. Explain the impact this undesirable behaviour has. - Ask the individual if they could suggest how objectives could be met. - You don't have to ditch your Mr Nice Guy approach entirely - just combine it with a challenging development plan, and clear expectations, which will facilitate change and improvement! - Develop great coaching skills. - Come up with an action plan and clear idea of your desired outcome and timeline for seeing improvement. - Seek advice.

Taking time out to understand our own reactions and ways of managing underperformance can be the first step in sorting out the problem, and is certainly time well spent.

Copyright (c) 2008 Shona Garner
Article Source : Educational Leadership And Administration

About Author
Both Brent Filson & Shona Garner are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Brent Filson has sinced written about articles on various topics from Leadership, Difficult people and Leadership. The author of 23 books, Brent Filson's recent books are, THE LEADERSHIP TALK: THE GREATEST LEADERSHIP TOOL and 101 WAYS TO GIVE GREAT LEADERSHIP TALKS. He is founder and president of The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. - and for more than 20 years has been. Brent Filson's top article generates over 8100 views. to your Favourites.

Shona Garner has sinced written about articles on various topics from Debt Reductions, Leadership and Difficult people. Shona Garner specialises in helping busy managers and those new to managing others, motivate and develop their people for outstanding results. For a free, full-length special report with the latest insights into how to increase your effectiveness at manag. Shona Garner's top article generates over 4400 views. to your Favourites.
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