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[D379]Dimebag Crybaby From Hell
by Ross Laguzza, Ros
Upon arriving in hell, a gentleman--we shall call him Mr. Marklin--discovers that his new environs are something less than tolerable and, indeed, a good bit unpleasant. Being a modern man of the 21st century, he quickly formulates a plan: "I'll sue!" He has no trouble finding a plaintiff's lawyer who files a lawsuit against God, the creator.

The lawyer's theory is simple, yet profound: God created an unreasonably dangerous and ultra-hazardous condition (temptation) and failed to adequately monitor and warn the plaintiff of the inherent risks of being a human male. God assigns the case to in-house counsel who sets to work on filing the typical responses and motions.

After a slow start, the case quickly progresses to trial in Mississippi. While there initially was some difficulty seating an impartial jury (a surprising number of prospective jurors hold strong biases toward heaven and hell), the trial commences.

Naturally, every good lawyer understands the need to tell a good story. The plaintiff lawyer settles on the following case themes:

- Life is filled with temptation and want: ask me how I know.

- God failed to adequately and clearly warn of the risks, even though God knew or should have known about these risks.

- Even a cursory examination of God's record shows a pattern and practice of deceptive and unreasonably dangerous behavior.

- Hell, like McDonald's coffee, is too hot.

- The plaintiff has endured physical and emotional suffering and deserves compensation.

- The jury needs to send a message that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated by the good (and bad) citizens of this community.

In support of his case, the plaintiff marshals an impressive group of witnesses:

Lucifer: "Hell violates every freakin' OSHA standard in the book!"
University of Southern Mississippi Economist: Calculates value of the loss of eternal bliss.
Mississippi State Professor of Ethics: "Eternal damnation is morally questionable at best."
Plaintiff Marklin: "Hell, yes, I'm a victim!"

In-house counsel, no slouch himself, orchestrates his defense around the following core messages:

- Live and learn.
- Plaintiff Marklin knew the risks of sin since he was a young boy attending an oppressive religious school.
- The Ten Commandments are well publicized.
- Nothing matters; it's all predestined anyway.
- This is an attorney-driven lawsuit with no real merit.
- Should you decide to find for the plaintiff, the most he is entitled to is purgatory.

The defense presents the testimony of these fine witnesses:

St. Peter: "I calls 'em as I sees 'em."
Expert on Moral Reasoning from Harvard: "The paradoxical implication of moral integrity in the context of infinite time is that good is bad and bad is good."
Berkeley Economist: "Plaintiff's economist failed to standardize the beta weights in his multiple regression equation."
Moses: "You call that suffering?"
Groucho Marx: "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member."
Professor of Metaphysics from MIT: "Everywhere you go, there you are."

Following rousing closing arguments, the case goes to the jury. They deliberate for 46 minutes before returning a verdict. The verdict is announced to a hushed courtroom: "We, the jury, find in favor of the plaintiff and award him the keys to the kingdom of heaven."

A consultant is retained by the defense to determine what went wrong. During the post-trial interviews, the jurors indicate that they weren't mad but thought that God could have done more to warn about the risks or, better yet, to remove the risks altogether. Most felt the warning should have been clearer, in larger type, and in brighter colors.

They also felt that some sort of automatic system should be developed to prevent people from making choices that might threaten their eternal splendor. One juror, a retired engineer, proposed a device that would beep (or vibrate if the person was in the theater) whenever a person was at risk of going to hell in a hand-basket or other conveyance. The foreperson apparently led the jury with the idea that life should be 100% consequence-free and "this personal responsibility thing has gotten way out of hand."

These arguments made sense to the other jurors. The two jurors who were hardest to persuade believed that the plaintiff was negligent, but couldn't deny that hell seemed a bit extreme. They were hoping the damages could be placed in a community repository for future generations, but upon learning that this was impossible, resignedly went along with the others.

The jurors were in agreement in their round dislike for the plaintiff Marklin as an individual, but felt their verdict was making the world a bit safer for everyone. One side note: Several jurors felt God's failure to appear at the trial was a sign of arrogance and few accepted the defense argument that "God is everywhere and besides he is really busy." The case is on appeal.

Skin Parasites that make your skin crawl are here to stay. They appear to itch from under your skin and are impervious to all standard medical treatments. Elimite and Quill will give you a four day reprieve and then the itching returns and it's relentless. The only thing that helps are hot (almost scalding) baths and then only for a few hours. They are indeed skin parasites from hell.

What's worse is that once you are infected, everything in your environment becomes contaminated or infected with them. You can also be highly contagious.

How does one get these skin parasites? The skin parasites can be transmitted direct from any one of many types of mites from an infected animal-rat mites, mice mites, bird mites, or any mite that takes up residence on animals. The skin parasites can also be transmitted by coming in contact with an infected animal's feces such as mice or rat feces, bird feces--even cat or dog feces.

Indirectly, the skin parasites can be transmitted from anything that has been worn or in contact with an infected person-clothing, rugs, furniture, jewelry.

Yes, sitting in an airplane seat after it has been sat in by an infected person is all that's required to become infected with these parasites. The same is true from barber's chairs,

The only good news is that relatively speaking very few people are infected with these skin parasites-less than ten thousand in the entire country and not all of them are contagious.

What are these horrific skin parasites? The most popular one-the one that has gained the most media attention-is Morgellons. Relentless itching is only the first symptoms of Morgellons. Soon skin rashes develop along with lesions that don't heal. Many sufferers report string-like fibers (some like loose cotton balls) along with black specs. The unfortunate reality is that there are no known diagnostic tests available to identify the skin parasites and no known medical treatment. The afflicted also notice that with continued infection they may actually cough up worms or larvae.

According to the experts there are several things to look for on your body to determine if you may be infected with skin parasites.

• Non healing lesions or sores.

• Fibers or filaments on skin at various non-healing sites where the skin parasites reside. You can see it with the use of a jeweler's loop and they are also fluorescent under a ultra violet light.

• Cotton-like balls on your body without any reasonable explanation.

• Intense itching skin.

• Stinging or biting.

• Hair loss.

• Chronic fatigue.

• Brain fog.

• Hard nodules under the skin.

• Fibromyalgia or joint swelling and pain.

• Black specs on the skin and bed sheets.

• Presence of tiny strawberry type of spots-look like bright red blood spots just under the skin.

Any three or more of these symptoms are associated with the Morgellons parasite plus a co infection of protozoan and or Lyme disease.

Lyme disease is scary but real. The infecting organisms such as mites also pass along Lyme disease and or Protozoan infection. It's like a double whammy. The infected one spends a lot of time in doctor's offices only to be told that nothing can be identified. Helpful doctors throw at it everything they can in terms of prescription creams used for scabies, ring worm and so on, but nothing works for more than a few days. Unhelpful doctors suggest that the symptoms are caused by stress and in "one's head."

With no help from the medical community, the afflicted one turns to the internet where they learn of Morgellons and other skin parasites in the form of Collembola (Spring Tails) and nematodes such as Strongyloides Stercoralis

The internet, although very informative, is a shocking confusing world with many posting sites sounding of gloom and doom and many sketchy details of treatments.

Suffering from skin parasites raises some important questions. How do you bathe? What skin creams or lotions provide results? How do you get skin parasites out of your bedding, furniture, rugs…? Although your doctor has no answers to these questions there are real down to earth answers to get your life back to normal.

Article Source : Legal Advice Child Custody

About Author
Both Ross Laguzza & Richard Kuhns are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Ross Laguzza has sinced written about articles on various topics from Legal Matters. Ross Laguzza, PhD is a founder of and principal in R&D Strategic Solutions, and. Ross Laguzza's top article generates over 9900 views. to your Favourites.

Richard Kuhns has sinced written about articles on various topics from Panic Attacks, Cure Anxiety and Guided Meditation. . Richard Kuhns's top article generates over 14800 views. to your Favourites.
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