When memories about the joy of your wedding day comes crashing down on the day your spouse says "I want a divorce," you enter into a cycle of abandonment, fear, anger, and loss. Grief, anxiety, sorrow, guilt, denial and depression all come crashing down on your head. Tempers flare and shouting makes you cringe. It's not a pretty picture.
Somehow, someway, you've got to find a way to heal from all these hurtful emotions. Here are some tips to help you accomplish that.
Although your needs are plenty, your children's needs exceed them. Your children deserve a parent who is strong and on top of things - someone they can lean on and trust. It's difficult, but you'll have to set your own needs aside when you're caring for your children, because their needs always come first. They should not bleed through to your kids. I think you can do that without losing sight of satisfying your own needs at a different time.
You will need a support team. You don't have to handle all this emotion on your own. And don't chose someone (like a sister) who will agree with you about how awful he was. Choose someone with more objectivity, because I have to tell you this, you made mistakes, too. If you don't find out what they were, you're doomed to repeat them in a second divorce. Find a helpful minister, a compassionate and savvy therapist, or some counselor who can help you see the role you played.
If you only think about the "he done me wrongs" you'll stiffle your healing. These memories are the things that you'll need to discuss with your support team. This could be a sublime opportunity to learn how to forgive. Here's one: ask your support person to sit in front of you and "be" your offensive ex. Now, tell your support/ex person all the reasons why you forgive him or her. Tell him or her about all the things they did that wounded you and then say that you forgive him or her.
"I forgive you for constantly staying out late." "I forgive you for the times you squandered your paycheck and we couldn't make the house payment." "I forgive you for never keeping the house clean."
Let it all hang out and get it all out of your system. If a forgiveness exercise with a surrogate won't work for you, write down each point of forgiveness (and try to mean it) in a letter that will never actually be mailed. Looking at his surrogate, tell your ex precisely what you are forgiving him or her for. Then, burn the letter in your fireplace and let it all go up with the smoke.
Once you can clear your mind of all this old baggage, you can get ready to create the next good thing in your life.
In addition to common symptoms of menopause such as hot flashes, many women develop rapid mood changes, anger, and depression. These mood swings are the result of hormonal changes brought on by menopause. While there is no ‘cure’ for menopause as it is an entirely natural process, hormone therapy is recommended by some doctors. Even with available treatments to ease this potentially troubling period of time, it is necessary for women to learn to cope with the emotional fluctuations associated with menopause.
When a person is angry or depressed for an extended amount of time, and the menopause can last a number of years, it can lead to negative changes in body chemistry. To gain insight into your anger or depression, it is probably a good idea to get a journal or notebook and keep a running list of things that you believe are causing you to feel this way. By externalising what you are feeling, you can give your emotions a more concrete display and you can examine them.
One way to cope with menopause is to join a support group. Since every woman will one day endure menopause, there are plenty of groups available where women can share their experiences with others like them. Not all women experience significant mood changes, however, many do. It is important to speak to others who may be going through the same trials and tribulations as you are.
In addition, it is a good idea to explore methods of keeping yourself at ease and reducing stress and anxiety. Think about heading to a day spa, getting a massage, floating in a pool, meditation, purchasing a relaxation tape, taking a warm bath, learning breathing exercises, and taking up yoga.
If you have never heard of the Bach remedies, it may be a good idea to check them out. When you take Larch, Wild Rose, Gorse and Gentian together, it may help alleviate some of the symptoms of depression. There are many holistic remedies available that have provided excellent results.
You can also look into aromatherapy and acupuncture, which not only can provide relief from symptoms of menopause – they can also help you feel better all around. Hypnosis is also an interesting avenue to explore. Through hypnosis you may be able to eliminate some of the behaviors that are troubling you. Hydrotherapy, light therapy, and sound therapy are also treatments that may help you feel better and give you the peace of mind to combat the emotional symptoms of menopause.
If you are depressed for an extended period of time it is suggested that you contact a mental health professional such as a psychologist. Just a few sessions of counselling may help you get in touch with your feelings and realize that they are essentially a reaction to hormonal fluctuations. While it may be difficult to control at all times, encountering your issues up close and personally may give you the strength to overcome them.
Anger and depression are common symptoms of menopause. With help, knowledge, and support you can overcome them. There is no reason that you have to remain feeling angry and depressed for an extended period of time. You owe it to yourself to take control of your situation by seeking the help that you need or implementing coping strategies. Waiting around for things to get better won’t change a thing and will probably make your life and the lives of those around you more difficult.
Both Len Stauffenger & Kathryn Whittaker are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Len Stauffenger has sinced written about articles on various topics from Bathroom Home Improvement, After Divorce and Health. In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbo. Len Stauffenger's top article generates over 110000 views. to your Favourites.
Kathryn Whittaker has sinced written about articles on various topics from Acid Reflux, Pregnancy Problems and Acid Reflux. Kathryn Whittaker writes articles on a number of different topics. For more information on Digital Cameras please visit a. Kathryn Whittaker's top article generates over 18100 views. to your Favourites.