Solution 1: Examine Your Values If you don't know what you really want to do, start with examining your values. If your goals are not in alignment with your values, you will not be happy. For example, if you're an attorney and you value fairness, helping others, and generosity, you'll be happier working for an organization like Habitat for Humanity than for a company that handles Mergers and Acquisitions. If you value achievement, order, and harmony, you probably won't be happy in an environment that fosters intense competition, such as sales.
Solution 2: Consider Your Goals After examining your values, determine whether your goals honor or ignore your values. Examine your life in terms of relationship goals, work goals, financial goals, family goals, etc. If you find that your current goals are not supported by what you really value, how can you change your goals so that they do?
Solution 3: Align Your Values with Your Goals "Sally" valued learning, responsibility, and cooperation. She wanted to work as a programmer and was attending school to get her computer science degree. But she found her classes to be difficult and she was unhappy. A programming career was not what she really wanted to do. When she let go of "making lots of money" as her goal, thinking it was something she valued, she realized that she wanted to become a teacher. She is now getting her degree to become a teacher and is much happier.
Or take "John," who earned a great deal of money in his high-level sales job. He thought this would make him happy; instead, the constant travel and stress of meeting quotas left him fatigued and out of touch with his family. After re-evaluating his commitment to his health and his children, he decided to apply his sales skills to raising money for a charitable organization. Even though he earns significantly less, he spends much more time with his family and has the satisfaction of knowing he is making a greater difference in people's lives.
What do you need to let go of in order to get what you really want in life? Do you need to let go of certain expectations, others' expectations? What do you need to learn to get what your really want? Do you need to learn what you really value, how to manage distractions, or how to align your goals with your values?
Obstacle 1: Tolerance Most people resist making any changes to their lives - even when they wish for it - because they've achieved a certain level of tolerance to the way things are. That's fine if you're satisfied with your life as it is. If you're not, however, then your tolerance is merely setting you up for more of the same. For example, your relationship with your partner may just OK but not great, but since it's tolerable you don't attempt to make it great.
Obstacle 2: Fear Fear of change is a powerful force that holds most people back. Things may not be great but the situation is familiar and you know what to expect. Change means facing the unknown. What if you change things and things are worse? For example, what if you leave the job you hate only to find that the new one is worse?
Obstacle 3: Lack of Knowledge Another thing that holds people back is not knowing what they really want. You know that you want more out of life but you're not sure what that is. Or you may have some idea of what you want but don't seem to be making any progress towards that.
What holds you back? Whatever it is, you're not alone. "Ron" has always been very creative and decided that he could make good money as a photographer but meanwhile, he had decided to finally get his B.A. just to have it. He also worked as a waiter to support himself. Between school and work, he made wooded jewelry boxes as a hobby. Ron was unhappy with his life because he had difficulty making ends meet as a waiter and really wanted to be a photographer.
"Rosie" had been working as an administrator for the same abusive boss for nine years, all the while wanting to make a change but was afraid of leaving. How would she see her friends at work again? How could she get as much vacation time at a new job? So she continued to work for her abusive boss while wishing she had a different job.
These examples may seem to have simple solutions but the emotions that accompany making a transition can blind people to seeing how they can get their needs met. Is there a transition that you'd like to make but haven't found a way to yet? What's holding you back from living the life you really want? I'll be happy to help you work through these questions and many others.
Sandra Thebaud has sinced written about articles on various topics from Web Development, Join the Army and Stress Management. I have been helping people reach their personal and professional goals for the past 14 years. There's nothing more satisfying than helping someone reach their potential for success. I would like the opportunity to help you reach your goals. I am a Prof. Sandra Thebaud's top article generates over 2400 views. to your Favourites.