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We've all been to "one of those weddings". The kind where you need to amuse yourself between the ceremony and the reception because they're hours apart or you find yourself stuck in a receiving line that never ends. To keep friends and family happy rather than gritting their teeth in frustration, here are some tips for brides and grooms to consider during the wedding planning stages.
Have Your Wedding Pictures Taken Before The Ceremony
Many couples want to hold to the old-fashioned "the groom shouldn't see the bride before the ceremony" tradition. However, it's also important to consider just how long picture taking can actually be. Guests can be left waiting anywhere from one to three hours between the ceremony and reception. Not only will your guests find it frustrating, you will also have many guests showing up late to the reception... or not at all!
Be considerate of friends and family concerning their time. Remember, some of them may have to pay for babysitters and can't afford to spend an entire day attending a wedding and reception. Plan on having your wedding photos done before the ceremony when everyone in the wedding party is looking fresh. This will allow you to move smoothly from the ceremony to the reception with only a short travel time in between (assuming the reception is being held in a different location). Your wedding guests will be very appreciative.
Forget The Receiving Line
Traditionally, the bride, groom and wedding party stand in a receiving line so that guests can wish them well. Consider dropping this custom if you have invited a lot of guests to your ceremony. It is very time consuming and most people don't even know a good portion of the wedding party. As well, you'll always have "chatters" that will hold the line up, causing the guests behind them to become impatient. Most people really only want to congratulate the bride and groom and move on. If you insist on a receiving line, keep it minimal. Have only the bride, groom and parents receive the guests, rather than the entire wedding party.
Consider The Day Of The Week And The Times Of Your Ceremony And Reception
If your wedding is being held on a Friday or Saturday, then this usually doesn't cause much of a problem. However, if your wedding is being held on a Sunday evening or a weekday, keep in mind that people have to get up to go to work the next day. Tight timing is important here if you are including a dinner and dance reception. It would be best if the ceremony and the reception are being held in one location to cut out travel time. Have your photos done before the wedding as well. The ceremony should be as short as possible and then move smoothly into the reception area for dinner. Rather than starting your dance at 9pm as is usually the custom, plan it for an earlier time, such as 7:30 or 8pm.
Cash Bar Or Not?
Cash bars have become more common place lately. There are usually two reasons for this...
a) the cost can be tremendous and
b) wedding guests can easily drink too much if it's free liquor.
This is a touchy area for most bridal couples and their guests. Family and friends expect drinks to be free as part of the reception. As a couple, including the cost of liquor should be a part of your wedding budget. On the other hand, if guests have to pay for their drinks, they tend to drink a lot less and it may help curb someone from trying to drive home drunk. Free flowing drinks can also cause other problems such as disorderly drunkenness where guests are dancing on the tables or possible fights breaking out. So whether to have a cash bar or a free bar is something the bride and groom will have to carefully consider. A possible solution to this is to include one or two bottles of wine per dinner table and have a cash bar during the dance.
Do All The Speeches Early
As the evening progresses, people tend to drink more. It would be best to ask anyone who is to give a speech or toast to keep their drinking to a minimum (or not to drink at all) until they have presented their speech and to do so early into the reception. Once people get drinking, their tongues tend to get looser and they may say things that are not appropriate during their speech if they have consumed too much liquor.
Try Not to Split Up Your Wedding Attendants And Their Spouses/Dates At The Reception
It can be very awkward not only for your attendants, but especially for their spouse and/or date to be seated separately. It's really not necessary to have a head table for the wedding party. Consider having two or three tables at the front of the room to hold the wedding party and their respective partners. If you do want to include a head table, consider placing another table close to the front and seating your attendant's partners at that table together.
Few things set the tone of your wedding more than the food you choose to serve. Whether it is filet mignon with crab claws at a formal dinner, muffins and ripe melons at a wedding breakfast, or an icy berry frappe at a garden reception, your food adds a rich layer of romance and sensuality to your celebration. The intimacy created by sharing food together is nowhere more noticeable than at a wedding.
When planning the food for your wedding there are several things you will want to consider. First you will need to determine the event - whether it is a wedding breakfast, luncheon, dinner, reception, or open house. You must also consider the setting and scale of your wedding, the style, the budget, and the season.
There are many choices for how you want to gather people together to celebrate your marriage. What is important is that you pick what works best for you. For example, do you want a traditional wedding breakfast for family and close friends following an early morning ceremony? Or do you want to celebrate with dinner at your favorite restaurant? Are there many children you want to include in your wedding that would make a backyard retreat more appropriate?
Many couples have a large-scale wedding reception with two to five hundred guests. In this case, a well-chosen refreshment plate is often the best option, providing guests with a few tasty bites to savor rather than a full-fledged meal. Another attractive option for a large reception is a cake buffet (featuring several choices of different cakes) or a dessert buffet (featuring several choices of desserts, such as a slice of chocolate cream cake, a strawberry tart, and a creme brulee).
Another nice choice for couples is to avoid the fuss of a huge reception altogether and replace it instead with a more intimate gathering at a formal dinner. This dinner is for anywhere from thirty to eighty guests, and is often the night before the wedding. The cost of a big reception can be focused on a more limited number of guests, giving you more freedom with fancy menus. This is a good choice for couples who prefer a smaller setting to a large-scale celebration. It is also an ideal solution for couples who are marrying for the second time or if they are blending families with their marriage. It allows them to celebrate the importance and joy of the event without the complexities involved in a reception.
The parents of the groom may wish to host an open house in addition to the bride and groom's wedding reception. This is often the case when the bride and groom's families live in different cities. An open house is more casual than a reception, with a shorter guest list. As the name "open house" suggests, it is often hosted in the family home of the groom. It is usually given a week or two after the wedding. Food for an open house would be along the line of a smaller refreshment plate or dessert buffet.