Individuals with low self-esteem often do not do well in life. They will approach most situations with little confidence though they may be fully capable of accomplishing it. Self-belief is considered the foundation of self-esteem. It provides the extra confidence that one needs to know they can do anything.
So how do you develop self-belief in yourself? Do not mistake self-belief as self-importance. They are not the same. It is more like conceit, spawn over confidence and egotism, which does not lead to personal success.
The right answer is positive self-esteem. This means that you see yourself as good and capable as anyone else, no better or worse, you are proud of who you are, and you approach everything with a positive outlook.
To do this you must learn to accept yourself unconditionally. You will have strengths and weaknesses, and you will have achievements and failures. You must learn to accept those realities. This is what self-esteem is all about ? truth in yourself.
Those who always languish are never happy. Those who blame everyone else for their failures also never get ahead. They are consumed with negativity.
It is important to not let your mistakes or failures overpower you, and ruin your happiness. You have to accept your mistakes and move on. Any time you do not acknowledge your mistakes, you lose some of your self-esteem.
Most people gain a lot of happiness from their accomplishments. Their self-esteem rises; they feel like they can accomplish anything. However, the same self-esteem can fall when that person is rejected or makes a mistake. This can cause a person to feel unhappy and unwanted, and can eat away at his self-esteem until he is very unhappy. It will also impact other realms of his life.
In order to improve your self-esteem, you need to be fair to yourself. Do not beat yourself up when something goes wrong. It can lead to depression and overwhelming guilt. A mistake or failure cannot be changed, but it can be learned from. Everyone should judge himself or herself fairly. Beating up on oneself leads to defeat, and destroys self-esteem.
It's a bit like being scared of a spider or cockaroach. I cannot stand up to those creatures, but the 6cm spider is actually more petrified of me being 1000 times larger.
You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself, "she looks so perfectly calm and confident." But if you could read thru her transparent mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that she's thinking "are people talking about why I am seated here alone?... Why don't guys find me attractive? ...I don't like my ankles, they look too skinny... I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend."
We look at a young business entrepreneur and say "Wooh, what else could he ask for?" He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, "I hate my big eyes... I wonder why my friends won't talk to me... I hope mom and dad would still work things out."
Isn't it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and thinks of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.
Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you of all people, is the last to know.
I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she's around, and she doesn't notices how badly she became socially handicapped - gradually affecting the people in her environment.
One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like "do you think I am ill-mannered?", "Do I always sound so argumentative?", "Do I talk too loud", "Does my breath smell?", "Do I ever bore you when were together?".
In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don't give her answers like "Don't exaggerate! That's just the way I am!" Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve if she is willing.
Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.
Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of "If only I was richer... if only I had better relationships" and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we've got 10 more reasons to envy them.
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, better relationships, etc. But life need not to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It's the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.
Both Ken Snowie & Joshua Uebergang are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Ken Snowie has sinced written about articles on various topics from Health, tax and Dieting. Discover more about by visiting