Just take mental note of what you are, who you are, where you are right now, what you have done, and what you have, in all aspects of your life.
Without letting yourself be fooled by its apparent simplicity, ask yourself these questions, in terms of these 6 dimensions (physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, financial, social) :
What am I? Who am I? Where am I? What have I done? What have I achieved? What do I have?
Why don't you do yourself a favour - grab a piece of paper and a pencil, write those questions down and begin thinking about the answers. Or you can just fire up notePad or a word processing program of your choice and type these questions out.
Relax. Don't take this as some tedious "homework" or exercise. See it as a fun exploration in getting to know the most complex, fascinating and mysterious creature you've ever known.
You.
Written those questions down already? Answered them already? It helps if you write your answers down as well.
Don't worry about writing grammatically perfect English (or whatever is your language of choice) sentences. But do try to be as specific as possible.
If the answer to your question of "What have I achieved?" is "Nothing", think about why you just said that.
What do you exactly mean by nothing? Do you mean you've achieved nothing which you think is worth mentioning? Or are you just being excessively modest?
Be specific. Think of some very concrete, tangible answers to those questions, focused around the 6 dimensions I mentioned above.
Next, as you take a look at the piece of paper or the notePad window (or whatever), think about how you've arrived at the situation you are in, right now.
Think about the specific decisions, actions, choices you made and the events that lead you to who and what you are right now. Surely the things that you have, do or be right now is a product of a set of important decisions you have made in life.
Even if it's a coincidence, an act of God, a stroke of luck or a serendipity, you do involve some decision-making into it (like whether or not to follow on it when the opportunity presents itself).
Be very honest with yourself. Write down your findings for this as well.
Done that? Now pick just one of those crucial 'decision moments' you've written down. Pick the one which you think is the most significant in your life.
Now take a fresh sheet of paper, or open up a new notePad window, and write down a headline for that crucial decision moment you've just picked. Below this headline, write a brief description of what happened when you made that decision.
Close your eyes for a while and recall that moment of decision-making. Relive it in as much detail as possible in your mind.
Now ask yourself what is going on in your mind as you make your decision. Just an instant, a split second, before you come to your conclusion, what is it that happens in your mind that lead you to your decision?
Do you find that, if you could really go back into it, you are asking yourself questions, consciously or not, about the effects of each option you have, about what action to take, etc?
Every time you think, every time you analyse, every time you want to make a decision, you ask yourself some questions.
Questions are the key to the door that will lead you to your answers - whether they're right or not. Now do you see the power questions can hold over the shaping of our lives?
If the present condition of your life right now is determined by the decisions (and follow-up actions) you made in the past, and the decisions you made were determined by the quality of your thinking before making each decision, then the quality of your thinking is determined by the quality of the questions you asked yourself.
To live an effective life, you need effective decisions. To make each effective decision, you need effective thinking. To do some effective thinking, you need effective questions.
Now do you see the power of questions in shaping your life?
Think about it for today.
Here are five questions that can help you blast through this stalemate and get the order.
When you reach such a stalemate you will hear the prospect say things such as; "I can't ??", It's not possible ?", "I can't do it now ?", and so on.
The mental process that is occurring here is that the prospect is shutting down possibility. While they remain in that mindset they will never be open to see that acquiring your product could in fact be a good solution for them. Your first task is to snap them out of that stalemate mentality and put them in a frame of mind that is open to accept the possibility of a solution that involves your product.,
One way to do this is to take the "unspecified" roadblock and bring it into reality so that it can be addressed and hopefully overcome. You can achieve this by this simple question:-
Question 1: What stops you?
Have you ever noticed that in frightening movies the thing that you don't really see, or don't see clearly, is usually a lot more frightening than things you can see clearly? This is a natural, human mental process that also applies to buying.
Once you can bring the buyer's stumbling block into cold, hard, specific reality quite often it is not as big a stumbling block as the buyer thought it was. Also you can then "get on his side" and help him brainstorm solutions. All of a sudden he is working side by side with you to remove the objection.
Sometimes it is not an unspecified stumbling block so much as an unspecified consequence that the buyer thinks is stopping him from going ahead. This unspecified consequence is shutting down the possibility of a sale. You can reopen possibility here with:-
Question 2: What would happen if you did?
You would be amazed how often they stop, think, and then say something along the lines of "well I suppose nothing really." Then you say great and proceed to complete the order form. Of course if they do specify a consequence then now you have a specific objection you can overcome.
Perhaps the problem is not that there is a roadblock at all, it is simply that you haven't qualified them well enough and now you are finding out that they are saying "I can't" because they don't actually have the authority to say "yes" but their ego doesn't want to admit it..
You can flush this out at this point by a surprise, very direct question such as:-
Question 3: Who can?
Often they will simply tell you who the decision maker is before they have realised they are saying it. Other times they will remain guarded but you can follow up with "Who in addition to yourself would usually be involved in such a decision?"
Another cause of the supposed roadblock could be that they have slipped into problem focused mode and need to be shifted into solution focused mode before they can see the solution. There are two really effective questions to help you do that for them:-
Question 4: What's the best way to change that?
And the double barrelled question 5: What if you could? (or "What if it were possible?") How would you go about it?
This is even more powerful if you first agree that it is not possible then add the possibility open question. For example: "I understand now that you can't do it. But what if you could? How would you go about it?
This allows them to switch into solution focus without having to let go of the crutch of impossibility.
With practice you can become very skilled at using these five questions and at knowing with is the best (or the best combination) to use in any particular circumstance. Give them a try and you will be surprised how often the stalemate vanishes.
Both Mohamad Latiff Bin Rahim & James Delrojo are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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