In the long list of major decisions in a marriage, when to have children has got to be at the top of that list. Let's face it, when you're first married, you're starting your careers. You're trying very hard to advance as far as you can in them. And with today's families being two income families, for the most part anyway, it's not like the husband can perform his manly duties, get his wife pregnant and then just run off to work and everything is fine. Many times this means the wife has to take leave from work, at least for a while and then when she returns, if she returns, there is the matter of child care.
As you can see, this isn't something that's so easy to work around. So the question is, when IS the right time to have children?
The truth is, there is no right time.
If you were to sit down and go through your life, planning everything out year by year and then took a dart and threw it somewhere along this time line, the chances of hitting a time where having children would be a piece of cake are slim to none.
Think about it. At the beginning of your marriage you're just getting to know each other. You want to spend some time alone with each other. The last thing you feel you want to do is add a baby to the mix because that baby would take time away from both of you spending time together. Be honest. That's how most of us feel.
Then, maybe four or five years into our marriage, we're stuck in the career dilemma. We've bought our first home and the only way we can pay it off is if we both work. Well, if you're both going to work, it's pretty hard raising a kid when nobody is home. And you can't quit your job or career because you're deep in debt.
Finally, your careers are pretty settled, you've advanced up the ladder, the money is good and you have more than enough to afford a child except you look up and you're 40 years old. You start to think that you're a little too old to be having children. So you sit back on your couch and give a sigh. You wish you had decided to have a child sooner.
If you think the above scenario is a little far fetched, it's not. The sad truth is, this is pretty much what most couples go through in today's world when they decide to have or not have children. So the question you're waiting to have answered is, "When IS the right time to have children?" Sadly, there is no answer to this question. The right time is what is right for you. But, if you ask most people who have had children of their own and also wrestled with these issues, they will tell you not to wait. They'll tell you that there is never a right time. They'll tell you that there is always something in the way.
And they'll also tell you that having a child was the greatest thing they ever did.
Sometimes we have a tendency to get so wrapped up in our busy schedules that we do forget about quality time with our children. This isn't referring to time in the car taking the kids to school or dance practice. This refers to good old quality time between a parent and their child. This may seem difficult when a lot of parents are working two jobs, going to school to further their education, or even taking care of sick family members. It may seem impossible to find the time to do interactive things such as playing games, practicing flash cards, doing crafts, and other activities that are important to a child's development.
The good news is that there are ways for busy parents to still help their kids learn despite their busy schedules. It just takes a little bit of creativity.
Utilizing time well
Organizing time is the key to being able to spend time with your children. If you're going back to school, try to organize your school schedule to the best of your ability to free up some of your time. The same is not as easily said for work schedules, but there are some cases in which an employer will allow the reorganization of a work schedule. It more or less depends on the type of industry that you work in. Some parents have even had their children's bus drop the kids off at their work or the kids walk to the place of work. Here, the parent can spend time with their children while waiting for the other parent to pick them up.
Multitasking is another way to be able to spend time with the children. While dad is doing chores throughout the house, daughter can be getting her homework done. If he is working around the kitchen, she can do her homework at the kitchen table so that he can help her when she needs it. Even if you have to wait in the car for prolonged periods of time, having the kids do homework in the car is a great way to have quiet time and be available when they need you.
Making routines out of these two things can make a huge difference. Doing some of the same things repeatedly gets the kids and you used to doing them and it will become a way of life. Children are always learning and making it a routine to do things such as talk to them or help them with their homework enhances the learning experience considerably.
Getting help
It also helps if you can find others to help you. This is especially true for single parents. A good babysitter may be able to help the kids with their homework if you can't be there. Maybe there is even a summer program or afternoon program that your child can go to until you are able to pick them up and have great conversation in the car on the way home. Even having a grandparent or a friend help out is a great way to keep your child moving where he or she needs to go.
As you can see, there are some creative ways to spend time with your child even if you need a little help here and there. In the end, you will find time to spend with your child even if it is for a little while before bedtime. Doing little things such as reading a book, telling stories, playing making sure your child gets to where they need to be when they need to be there shows that you care and support them in the things they want to do.
Both Michael Russell & Amy Nutt are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Michael Russell has sinced written about articles on various topics from Celebrities, Dieting and Diabetes Treatment. Michael RussellYour Independent guide to . Michael Russell's top article generates over 2240000 views. to your Favourites.
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