Not everyone has the beautiful, lustrous hair that you see on the television fashion models. Most people have at least something that they do not like about their hair. It might be too straight or too curly. They might not like the color. Maybe they are going gray earlier than they would like, or their hair has been damaged from too many styling products. No matter what the damage, there are things that can be done to help hair recover. In addition, there are things that can be done to make hair better and more manageable while it recovers. In other words, recovery takes time, but there are things that you can do to make your hair look better while you are waiting. These are the kinds of things that most women - and men who have trouble with their hair - are not aware of. They really do not think about it. Instead, they focus on the recovery of their hair and think that they just have to live with it until it gets better. In some cases this may be true, but usually there is something that can be done besides wearing a wig or a hat!
For people with very straight hair, there are some options. Shampoos and conditioners exist that are designed to help these people have more body in their hair. Often straight hair is limp and lifeless, and adding some extra body will help this out immensely. There are other people with straight hair, though, who have plenty of hair - it just does not want to do anything but hang there. For these people, a body creating product might be helpful, but they may also want to do something more, such as getting a permanent wave to give their hair some curl. These products are much better than they used to be, and the results last longer and look better than in the past. People with straight hair might also consider having it cut in a short style or keeping it pulled back most of the time so that it does not hang in their face too much.
For the opposite end of the spectrum - people with naturally curly hair - they can have it straightened. There are products to do this, and there are also flat irons that will take the curl out of hair temporarily. Having it chemically straightened will last longer, but it also is much harder on the hair and should be done professionally for best results. A flat iron can be used at home, but it does take a little bit of time to flatten and straighten all of the hair. Frizzy hair is also a problem. However, what causes the frizz is important to know so that it can be corrected. One of the most common causes of frizzy hair is split ends. For this problem, the ends often have to be cut off. If the hair is very long and the frizz problem has gone on for a long time, cutting the hair short may be the only alternative. There are products designed to repair split ends but they do not work on very severe cases and they do not work overnight. Checking with a good stylist can make all the difference.
Never underestimate your child's ability to participate and benefit from a family meeting. I have done them with success with children 15 months old and would not hesitate to include an infant. The thing to remember is that you are creating a format so that you can come up with solutions as a family. This makes the family unit the authority instead of just you (which is a set up for power struggles).
So when you begin having meetings don't expect them to be the cure all. Instead break them down into steps to ensure success.
I am grateful to Rudolph Dreikurs, who introduced me to meetings in The Challenge of Child Training: A Parent's Guide. After using them in my Montessori School and with my family for the last 19 years I have come up with what works best for me. Here are the things to remember:
- Family meetings should occur once a week on the same day, at the same time.
- Schedule a meeting between meals when folks are rested. I like 11 am because we have recently had snack and had some outdoor time, so we are ready to sit and listen and participate.
- Sit at a cleared table, turn off the tv and phone.
- Use a talking stick, only the person with the stick can talk.
- If possible have the special day person lead the meeting. Write down the minutes, keep a journal. It will remind you of what you did and it will be loads of fun to read years down the road.
Remember: Meetings are for finding solutions, NOT FOR GRIPING OR BLAMING. (If folks need to gripe, schedule a gripe session for another time. At the gripe session set the timer for one minute and everyone gets to gripe at the same time. You'll all end up laughing.)
For the first month follow this format:
1. Open the meeting by passing the stick around and inviting each person to share what they are grateful for.
2. Thank everyone for their contributions, even the little one who says, "I like bananas."
3. Pass the talking stick and have everyone make suggestions about what fun family activity you can do right after the meeting.
4. Vote on the suggestions. Expect the little ones to vote for each option. Don't correct them, they'll get it eventually. Be sure that the parents don't always vote together.
5. Close the meeting by letting the leader choose a song for everyone to sing. Seerve dessert! It's a great way to get those older children to participate!
6. Go do the fun family activity.
The second month:
1. Introduce compliments. Pass the stick and have each person compliment themself. Alternate gratefuls and self compliments each week.
2. Introduce issues. Pass the stick and ask each person, "Do you have an issue that you would like help solving?"
3. Address the first CHILD issue that is presented. (Save adult issues for the next month.).
4. Pass the stick and have each person make a suggestion for a solution. If someone doesn't have one let them "pass". Have two solutions yourself in case no one offers one. Make sure solutions are RELATED, RESPECTFUL and REASONABLE!
5. Let the person with the issue decide: either they choose a solution or the family votes. Vote if the issue concerns the entire family.
6. Sing. Have dessert.
The third month:
1. Introduce complimenting each other. Have each person compliment the person sitting next to them (let the leader decide which direction to go) by acknowledging something that person did. Now alternate gratefuls, self acknowledgments and complimenting others, one per meeting.
2. Introduce the written agenda. Folks may write, draw a picture, or dictate their issue. Vote on how may issues they can write each week. Post the agenda in a central location.
3. When someone comes to report an issue, invite them to write it on the agenda. Follow the agenda in sequence. Ask each person if it is still an issue for them. Often times they have resolved it themself. Ask if they would like to share how they solved their problem.
4. Adults may begin to present an issue. Only one adult issue per meeting from here on out! I suggest that the first time one parent present an issue about the other parent to help the children realize that it's not the adults versus the kids.
5. Phrase your issue this way: "I am having a problem with (the situation). Can you please help me come up with a solution?" Folks want to help us when we take responsibility for us having a problem rather than blaming others.
6. Strive to arrive at a consensus where everyone agrees on one solution so the family is not divided on issues that involve the family as a whole. Frame the solutions as "an experiment" that you're going try for a week.
If someone isn't happy with the outcome, including yourself, then they can put it on the agenda for the next meeting.
7. If you haven't done so already, vote on how long the meetings will last. I recommend that you keep them short, so folks will continue to want to attend. (If an older child does not want to attend, that's fine. Once they realize that decisions are being made for them they might change their mind.)
Extras:
1. A family member may call a mid- week meeting, if desired.
2. As children get older, use family meetings to schedule everyone's events for the coming week and enter them on a calendar.
3. Everyone follows the agreed on solutions until they reappear on the agenda. No falling back on the adults re-taking charge! (unless of course it's a safety issue.)
4. Have a meeting each week even when there are no issues. Have News Period instead.
5. Single parent or roommate family units can have meetings as well as larger family units. Use the same format. Classes can use this format too. Place chairs in a big circle. Majority rules.
Remember: You are setting the stage for the future by creating a format that your family will be so familiar with that when you REALLY have issues you'll be able to solve them as a family in a respectful, cooperative way.
Both Elizabeth Roth & Tulum Dothee are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Elizabeth Roth has sinced written about articles on various topics from Shopping, Hair Styles and About Branding. Elizabeth Roth owns a site that offers free beauty tips. In addition to advice, the site offers shampoos, styling products, and. Elizabeth Roth's top article generates over 3600 views. to your Favourites.
Tulum Dothee has sinced written about articles on various topics from Parenting, Beauty Tips and Parenting. And now I would like offer you free access to my online parenting newsletter, Mindful Parenting Tips: Discover proven techniques to become. Tulum Dothee's top article generates over 6600 views. to your Favourites.