You see an attractive woman and want to meet her, but you have no idea how to approach women.
Suddenly, you're paralyzed with fear and you quickly remind yourself that you don't know what to say to her anyway, so you pass up the opportunity like 99% of men do.
It's normal. For many guys, the very thought of approaching a woman they don't know to start an interaction scares the hell out of them.
Here are some of the common reasons I've heard guys come up with:
She'll probably reject me / She might not want to talk to me / I'm not good looking enough / She probably has a boyfriend / She might think I'm a weirdo / People might think I'm a stalker / People might think I'm desperate, or lonely / She probably likes guys who are... / She's probably busy and will get frustrated because I will just be wasting her time/ I don't know what to say.
Can you relate to any of those thoughts? I'd be safe to assume that you can, because men all over the world have the same fears of rejection.
What you need to do now is stop and recognize the differences between being rejected and the fear of rejection.
One is real and one is imaginary...and being rejected is not a big deal anyway.
Really, it isn't. My friends and I have approached thousands of women and the worst we've ever got is a "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" or, "Why are you talking to us?" or the women simply ignoring any attempts to converse.
Ooooh, scary! Seriously, it's like water of a duck's back. No hard feelings. No tears.
There are billions of women in on this planet and you are most likely compatible with hundreds of millions of them, if not more.
After personally approaching thousands of women myself, I can confidently say that most women will be receptive to your approach if you do it correctly.
Tips on How to Approach Women: Be Prepared to Offer More Than Her Initially
Sometimes the woman will be immediately receptive and things will go smoothly and easily. However, don't take it personally if a woman doesn't start chatting eagerly to you straight away. There are plenty of reasons a woman may behave like that:
She might not want to look 'too easy' in front of her friends / She might be in a bad mood / She may have just had a negative interaction with someone two minutes before you came over / She might be in the middle of a deep thought or engaging conversation with someone else / She could be feeling nervous / She might be testing to see if you are truly confident.
So, don't freak out and don't take it personally. Stay in there, remain composed and show her that you are the real deal.
Tips on How to Approach Women: Hey Ladies!
Generally I like to say, "Hey guys" instead of, "Hey girls" or "Hey ladies."
Saying "Hey guys" is more neutral and sounds less like you are a horny guy trying to 'pick up girls'.
Of course, in formal social situations with older women whom you aren't sexually interested in, you should consider being a gentleman and addressing them more formally (e.g. "Good afternoon ladies").
Tips on How to Approach Women: Pick-Up Persona vs. Being Social
Ever see a guy walk up to some women and say, "Heyyyyyyyyy...what's happppppening ladies?" or walk up to a woman and say "Heyyyy, how are you doinnng?" while putting on the whole 'bedroom-eyes' look?
It's called 'putting on a pick-up persona' and it doesn't work. Guys make this mistake all over the world, because it can sometimes work on women who are very drunk and behaving the same way themselves.
Instead of going out to 'pick up', you should focus on going out to meet and socialize with women.
It will feel so much more natural and you'll notice that women will respond much more favorably to you. In fact, they will try to pick you up because you'll be behaving like a confident, social guy.
Tips on How to Approach Women: Emotionally-Guarded Conversation
Emotionally guarded conversation is the sort of dialogue that strangers have with each other.
It usually reveals as little as possible about the people involved. For example:
You: Hi. Her: Hi. You: So...having a good night? Her: Yep. You: Cool...so, what do you do? Her: I work at a bank. You: Oh really? That's great. How long have you worked there? Her: About three years. You: That's good.
Boring!! Approaching a woman and starting an interaction in this way conveys that:
1. You are stranger who is trying to get to know her. 2. You are boring. 3. You are scared to open yourself up to the world. 4. You hide behind safe, social-niceties and hope that you will get lucky with a woman, without actually having to be a man. 5. You'll probably be a real wussy in the bedroom.
So, don't be afraid to be more expressive. Women want to meet guys just as much as you want to meet girls.
The best start is to find out who is who in the area of headhunting by looking at headhunting directories. Then follow these important steps:
? pick out the most reputable headhunters who deal with industry specific positions
? call the headhunter with a list of general questions about the industry of interest
? ask the headhunter things about the current state of that industry
? ask the headhunter about salary averages for executive positions in the area
? ask the headhunter about the numbers of top executive positions that have appeared in the area
? get into a casual discussion and answer all questions regarding your own background
? if offered a chance to meet and discuss this further, then do
Approaching a headhunter is all about making oneself visible to them as most of them now belong to professional or trade groups or associations. Their directories are a powerhouse of information, including in most cases a list of reputable members and what they offer.
Another approach to headhunters is to become a good resource for information. It is possible to contact a headhunter and pass information about people that you know that are in the industry they deal with and give some recommendations. The headhunter will be grateful for the tips and very interested in your background as well, adding you to their potential contact and candidate list.
When getting a call from a headhunter, the best way to deal with this is to get as much detailed information about the job position as possible. Most headhunters reveal little about their client's identity, but are quite willing to discuss the company's location, industrial type and size.
Next, interview the headhunter for more information. Make a list ahead of time of all the questions needed regarding the position one is looking for and the industry itself. It is a given that even the best headhunter does not have all the information that one requires and will most likely be glad to find out and get back to you. However, it is important to be careful to not be too pushy.
Then, if the headhunter agrees to researching the information for you, offer to call them back another day. Most headhunters will be glad to give out their contact details. However, if the gist of the conversion seems very loose and there is a total lack of interest from the headhunter, then this is a sign of a less reputable recruiter and not worth pursuing.
Alternatively, make a visit to the headhunter's office to get a visual look at the day to day operations. A real professional headhunter is dependent on repeated business, so the office will be very organized and maybe even busy.
Once inside, do the same routine as would normally be done on the phone. However, if contacted by another headhunter after initially contacting the first, be prepared for a possible job discussion. It is important then to get specific job details, and note how the headhunter got your details, but under no circumstances offer a resume or send one in at this point. Note that decent headhunters will respect this and be quick to respond.
If the headhunter suggests it, then you may arrange for a meeting, at which point it is important to have an up to date copy of your resume on hand. During this meeting, the headhunter will willingly reveal more detailed information regarding the job and client. If they offer to arrange an interview, make sure that you do background research about the client before going in.
Approaching a headhunter can be both easy and hard at the same time. Most decent ones no longer accept resumes without the first contact and interview steps. However, they do appreciate a call for more information.
Both Dan Bacon & Greg Heslin are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Dan Bacon has sinced written about articles on various topics from Dating and Romance, Body Language and Dating and Romance. Dan Bacon is the CEO and expert dating for TheModernMan.com, a highly-respected company that provides expert dating advice and coaching for men.As seen on TV - watch free videos now!. Dan Bacon's top article generates over 22200 views. to your Favourites.
Greg Heslin has sinced written about articles on various topics from Home Management, Computers and The Internet and Career Change. Greg Heslin is a best selling career advice and "street smart" tips author on how to survive in the 21st Century workplace.To learn more about FREE cutting edge career tips and techniques, you can visit his web site at. Greg Heslin's top article generates over 135000 views. to your Favourites.