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I put UPLIFT: Secrets from the Sisterhood of Breast Cancer Survivors together because, as a survivor, I saw the need for a book that treated breast cancer as a do-able experience-and, indeed, the response to it has been remarkable. The book contains useful woman-to-woman hints-things the doctor doesn't say-practical advice on topics ranging from what deodorant to use during radiation, to what minimizes nausea during chemo, to how to feel feminine and upbeat. This advice comes first-hand, in the words of 370+ breast cancer survivors, their sisters, children, parents, lovers, and friends. The new 3rd Edition adds updates, five years later, from many of the original contributors.
The following are some uplifting tips from breast cancer survivors. I hope you find them as inspiring as I do:
The Worry Box
"I found a box and glued colorful scraps of wrapping paper on the top. Inside it, each morning, I tucked handwritten notes about my worries and fears. Then I closed the lid and went on with the rest of the day."
Nancy Burgess, in the "TAKING THE REINS" chapter.
The Art of Healing
"Go to a theater, a museum, a concert or ballet. Art can take us out of ourselves, lift us beyond our immediate environment, enrich us spiritually and aesthetically. Opening yourself to great beauty is always a life-enhancer. In times of crisis, it's also healing."
Susan Stamberg, in the "TAKING THE REINS" chapter.
Pins and Needles
"Apparently, there is a dressmaker in Chicago who had prostheses made out of her pin cushions, so that she could conveniently stick her needles and pins into her chest when sewing and making alterations!"
Darlene Jurow, in the "HUMOR" chapter.
Eating With Friends
"I found conventional support group meetings difficult, so I formed my own support dinner group. We dine out every couple of months to discuss having breast cancer. We also share stories of our spouses, children, and travels."
Deborah J.P. Schur, in the "SUPPORT GROUP" chapter.
Drinking Helps
"Someone told me my chemo symptoms sounded like a really bad hangover! Their suggestion that Gatorade was good for hangovers led to my drinking gallons of it, which helped steady that queasy shakiness."
Jane Vaughan, in the "CHEMO AND EVERYTHING ELSE" chapter.
Accentuate the Positive
"Perhaps the most significant outcome of my battle with breast cancer is that I have changed my outlook on life. I now regard life as precious and try not to focus on negative things. Eliminating stress and resentment from my life and concentrating on the positive things has become my goal. I am now more at peace with myself. "
Sandy Mark, in the "PURE UPLIFT" chapter.
Looking Ahead
"It's been five years, nine months for me, but who's counting! I still think about my cancer, but less and less. I'm exercising more now. I really found out how good it was after my surgery and I got into a program for cancer survivors. I only wished I had started earlier in life. Now I faithfully visit the Y to start off my day."
Judy Peterson, in the "FAST FORWARD" chapter.
For more tips and quotes visit Barbara Delinsky's site at
Barbara Delinsky is a bestselling author. Her novels are highly emotional, character-driven studies of marriage, parenthood, sibling rivalry, and friendship. They regularly appear on the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Publishers Weekly, and USA Today Bestseller Lists. UPLIFT: Secrets of the Sisterhood of Breast Cancer Survivors is Barbara's first non-fiction work.
Barbara donates all of her proceeds from the sale of UPLIFT to her charitable foundation for breast cancer research. So far, the sale of the book has allowed the Barbara Delinsky Charitable Foundation to fund three years of a breast surgery fellowship at Massachusetts General Hospital. The focus of the fellowship is to launch the career of a surgical oncologist with an additional year of training focused on innovative breast cancer treatments and research, hopefully offering returns to the field of cancer research for decades to come.
For more information on the foundation, please visit the UPLIFT website at
Copyright © 2006 Barbara Delinsky Charitable Foundation for Breast Cancer Research.
Within the world of cancer sufferers, or other people who are experiencing themselves as victims of misfortune, the subject is perceived as a double edged sword: it brings up the feelings of blame and self recrimination; if we create our own reality does that mean that I created this horrible condition that I am experiencing?
If you are suffering from cancer, or have lost a loved one from cancer, then the suggestion that you or they could have created this condition or are any way responsible can be very threatening, insulting and insensitive.
People who write about cancer survivorship universally warn cancer survivors not to feel that they should take any responsibility for creating their illness or feel that it is in any way their fault and this is good advice. It's good advice in the same way that it's a good idea not to try to prescribe your own chemotherapy or perform your own radiotherapy; because you don't have the tools or the knowledge to do it effectively and create a satisfactory outcome.
As a licensed Avatar® Master I am fortunate enough to have the appropriate tools and the knowledge to apply them so when I had the experiences of having melanoma and then brain tumour I did find it useful to address the question “how did I create or attract these experiences?” Over the period of some months and with support from other Avatar masters I have had some very revealing insights into beliefs that I was holding that were not helpful to me in terms of creating a healing experience.
The most significant belief I discovered was that I didn't believe that I would ever feel unconditional or divine love while on this planet, in a body. I had given up trying to create or experience that level of loving commitment to, or from, another. I always knew that I had a yearning for complete connection with love but didn't realise that it was leading me towards death.
One doesn't need to go to this depth in self responsibility, however, to benefit from using self awareness and self examination regarding an illness. Taking responsibility isn't about going back to the past and looking for fault, it's about managing your beliefs in the present moment so that you can focus as much creating energy as possible on the outcome you choose to experience: being a survivor.
Even as a beginner at using the Avatar tools for self examination one can find beliefs, attitude or intentions that are not being helpful to your experience in the present moment. Using an exercise like transparent beliefs which is available to the public at Avatar introductory sessions, you can easily have an experience of discovering a hidden belief that could be creating a negative experience in your life, and then change it.
Finding such beliefs is really nothing about blame and fault at all, it's actually a great relief to realise that you have the power to change your beliefs and that this can have a positive influence on what you experience.
Harry Palmer, author of the Avatar materials says, “Situations are the result of multiple causes. Think of a lake that is fed by multiple streams of water. It is true that some causes have the lightening quality of fate, but some of the causes are manageable. And managing just one cause can alter an entire situation. If you focus on the "fated" causes, there is little that you can do other than continue to suffer and make plausible excuses. However, if you focus on finding the manageable causes and controlling them, you can change the situation.
What you believe is the most powerful contributing cause to any personal situation. Diet, health, influence of the environment, influence of associations, and habits may also be contributing causes to a situation, but each of them stands a good chance of being managed just by managing your beliefs.”
We all intuitively feel that having a positive attitude and positive beliefs will help us survive cancer, it's a small step from there to realise that negative attitudes, feelings of victimhood and blame and beliefs about our inability or lack of deservability etc. can be a hindrance to healing. If we try to believe positive thoughts over our unacknowledged negative thoughts and attitudes it sets up an internal struggle and uses up our creative energy and the results are uncertain.
Supporters of the viewpoint that a positive attitude is enough to help one combat cancer were recently disappointed with the publication of a long-term clinical study from the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. Researchers found that emotional well-being is not an independent factor affecting the prognosis of patients.
However, having a positive mental attitude does not necessarily mean that one believes that he or she can or will survive; a cancer patient can have a positive outlook and still firmly believe that they have no control or responsibility for what happens to them.
Clinical research can show the power of belief as it is manifested as the well known placebo effect. A recent study carried out by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology which was awarded the 2008 Ig Nobel prize for medicine demonstrated that expensive fake medicine is more effective than inexpensive fake medicine. Participants in the study were given placebo pills (inactive sugar pills) and informed that they were trialling analgesics similar to codeine. Half of the participants were informed that the drug had a regular price of $2.50 per pill and half that the price had been discounted to $0.10 per pill Results showed that in the regular-price group, 85.4% of the participants experienced a mean pain reduction after taking the pill, vs 61.0% in the low-price group. What could have been different between each group? Only the value they ascribed to the medicine and therefore a mental expectation of its effectiveness. These beliefs had a direct impact of their experience of relief from pain.
From my own experience I know that I found it hard to take ownership of the beliefs that I held that would attract the experience of having cancer or hinder my path to healing. The beliefs I uncovered were not pleasant and I resisted feeling them, but when I was brave enough to honestly examine my intentions and attitudes and own the ones that were not fully aligned with living a full and happy life, I recovered so much energy and certainty in my power to create that I have a deep peace of mind and a certainty that I am a survivor.
I would never suggest to another that they are at fault for being sick or that they deserved their cancer or brought it upon themselves because I know that that is not helpful or compassionate viewpoint. But I do believe that everybody has the capacity to improve their chances of healing by managing their beliefs and focusing their creative energy on the outcome that they want to experience. In the process they might have to face some unpleasant moments of self-honesty about their negative intentions but, hey, it's worth it.
We are prepared to undergo the rigours of surgery, radiology and chemotherapy in our quest to recovery, a willingness to become more self-conscious and responsible is much easier to face.
It's this knowledge and experience that inspired me to write the book, ‘Survive cancer' because I know so many cancer sufferers who are scared off from examining their beliefs because of the feelings of guilt and blame that are inevitable if they don't have to tools to easily explore and change consciousness.