If you encounter problems like these, fear not - there's hope for you. Here are some tips that should help you gain better communication skills:
1)Take a cue from conversation starters - these are people who find it easy to strike a conversation with anyone on just about any topic they choose.
One thing such conversation starters have in common is that they talk about topics that they are comfortable with, with people who would like to talk to them. If they feel the other party does not want to talk about that topic, they easily excuse themselves.
2)If the topic switches to one that conversation starters are not comfortable with or know little about, conversation starters choose to become listeners rather than speakers. Do this and you will find yourself absorbing a lot of information that you were previously not knowledgeable about.
3)When you are in a conversation with someone, make it a point to make eye contact with whoever you are speaking with - and smile in a friendly way so the speaker knows you are not hostile.
4)Interject humor into the conversation whenever possible. It becomes possible to do this if you feel that the other people in the group share the same mindset as you. If you are not sure, play it safe.
5)If the group is deeply engrossed with a topic, do participate by introducing your own point of view on that topic. If the group is talking about politics, it is in bad taste to suddenly blurt out "So what do you think about the Lakers this year?" You should try to keep the tangent of your interjection in line with the topic at hand.
6)If you want to be a good conversationalist, it helps to be a voracious reader. Read about various topics that interest you, not necessarily topics that are popular at the moment.
Don't force yourself to become interested in other topics just because you know other people like those topics - you will come across as trying too hard later on.
7)Ask other people in the group to contribute their own opinions as well. Some people would like to participate in a conversation but find it difficult because of natural shyness. Encourage such people to react to your own opinions and you will find that the conversation becomes richer as a result.
8)When other people react to your point of view, learn the fine art of absorbing their opinions then volleying your own reaction to those opinions. Take note that you don't need to be hostile since opinions can be expressed in a mild tone of voice as well.
9)Avoid emotion-laden words. It may become unavoidable that one will occasionally become emotional during a conversation, particularly if the topic is one close to your heart.
But using emotion-laden words might be construed as an attack against another person's beliefs - so, when you can avoid emotional language, choose less flammable words to express yourself instead.
10) Telling anecdotes about yourself is always a good option to liven up a conversation. It is a form of self-revelation and may encourage others in the group to tell their own stories as well.
Be careful though that the stories you tell do not threaten the privacy of other people - for example, if the story involves an embarrassing habit of your spouse, you may want to tell another story instead. You never know when your spouse will learn that you became the star of the show at his or her expense.
Follow these tips and you will find that you can easily improve communication skills in a wide range of situations.
1. CULTIVATE RAPPORT I have lived abroad and know how difficult it can be to express yourself in a language other than your own. Non-native speakers may be sensitive about their accent. They may lack confidence or may have been humiliated by some insensitive person who made demeaning remarks about the way they sound. Help put them at ease by showing genuine interest. One way is to ask them about the origin of their name. People are generally proud of their heritage and like to talk about it. The more comfortable you help them feel, the better they will communicate; a win-win for all.
2. POLITELY ASK THEM TO SPEAK MORE SLOWLY Tell them you are taking notes and want to make sure you don't miss anything they have to say.
3. SPEAK SLOWLY YOURSELF And don't raise your voice. Just because they have an accent, doesn't mean they are deaf.
4. AVOID JARGON AND SLANG This is especially true if the non-native speaker doesn't live here or is newly arrived.
5. INVITE THEM TO ASK YOU TO REPEAT YOURSELF You sound just as foreign to them as they sound to you. Ask them to tell you if there is anything you can do make yourself more easily understood.
6. SUMMARIZE At the end of the conversation, summarize key points. This will give both of you an opportunity to correct misunderstandings. For mission critical conversations, back everything up in writing.
7. BE PATIENT Put yourself in their shoes. While English may be easy for us, non-natives say it's one of the more difficult languages to learn. Many people from other countries speak several languages, yet most Americans speak only one--and some become easily annoyed when a foreigner's English is less than perfect.
8. SPELL YOUR NAME AND SAY IT SLOWLY If your name is of foreign origin, it might be difficult for others to understand. Say it slowly and spell it, especially when leaving voicemail.
By the way, the preceding guidelines are not just for non-native speakers. The United States has many regional accents and dialects that can make communication difficult, even among natives. If you can't understand somebody, don't suffer in silence. If your intention is to foster good will and open channels of communication, these guidelines will help in any situation.
Both Peter Murphy & Susan Berkley are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Peter Murphy has sinced written about articles on various topics from Modelling, Marketing and Web Development. Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at:. Peter Murphy's top article generates over 90500 views. to your Favourites.
Susan Berkley has sinced written about articles on various topics from Acid Reflux, Leadership and Guide Guitar. Susan Berkely is owner and writer of which is providing professional voice recording and professional voice over service for call centers. We. Susan Berkley's top article generates over 22200 views. to your Favourites.