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[T690]The Quarter Life Crisis
by Abbey Grace Yap, Abb
To a lot of these troubled young adults, it starts as a general feeling of having no sense of direction regarding where they want their lives to go. Most adults go through this after graduating college. This is the stage where they have to prove true every theory taught to them during their academic years. Many young men and women who are fresh graduates are idealistic in picking work at this stage of their lives. They feel a need to prove to others, most especially to themselves, that they are going to be able to apply everything they've learned from school on the job they've chosen.

Disappointments start setting in once they're rejected from their chosen jobs. Young people have a tendency to start sour-graping about jobs that are rejected them. This is a typical defense mechanism by young people to protect their broken ego. They either give excuses that the job that rejected them wasn't intellectually-stimulating enough, or that the compensation was not enough for their talents.

Emotional insecurities also come into play during quarter life crisis. Young adults start questioning themselves whether they're good enough to be with somebody. Some would start questioning their own identity and sexual preference. Some would start seeing every little thing as their fault and start blaming themselves for everything that goes wrong. Young adults who are unable to cope start getting into bouts of depression and eventually end up as recluses from society, afraid and always on guard.

Most people who experience quarter life crisis are often achievers as children. They tend to obsess at what they've achieved in the past, what they're doing in the present, and what they will be doing in the future. These people usually dwell on what they have been able to establish in the past, and wallow at the thought of how they can't seem to make the same accomplishments in the present. They start worrying if they'll ever be able to come back to the achiever they were before. They start doubting their ability to make their goals materialize.

Usually, young adults are able to pick up the pieces and start moving forward. They recover from whatever insecurities they may be feeling and start taking charge of their lives. Unfortunately, not everybody is strong enough to go back to riding the same horse that they fell from. Some people are simply unable to cope and just decide to stay on the ground and mourn over what's already lost. Some decide to stay in a state of denial and justify everything that's happened. Some will resort to taking medications to calm down or even forget.

A lot of mental health professionals suggest taking anti-depressants to help people who have been suffering from quarter life crisis for a long time already. Anti-depressants are medications commonly used as prescription for people suffering from depression. It is used to treat certain psychological conditions such as anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders and chronic pain. It is also commonly misused to generate a false sense of calm for people who think they're lives are worst that everybody else's. Of course, anti-depressants should only be used when it is prescribed by a trusted doctor as it may have side effects to your body in the long run.

Michael, 39, is a section leader for a large US plant that manufactures jet engine components. In many aspects, the career is rewarding. After 17 years, Michael is in line for a major promotion. Not only does the work offer potential for advancement, but it also affords security in terms of salary, benefits and the promise of an attractive retirement plan.

Security and potential are important to Michael and his family. But they're not the only terms that motivate. Michael knows his high standards influence his team's oversight. Their work means safer jets and safer air travel. Year after year, the section earns company awards and bonuses for workflow management, workplace safety and production. There's a real value in his work as a mechanical engineer, and most measure Michael a success.

He likes to think so, too. Still, in quiet moments, he wonders…is this really the work for me? Is this what I envisioned? He sketches his thoughts to paper. They take shape as a shelf -- the one he can't buy. He needs the shelf to finish the neoangle tile shower he and his wife have constructed as their month-long do-it-yourself project. His thoughts wander again, and this time, map the equation for the conversion angle. He wonders where he stashed his drafting paper, his compass … he believes he can create the shelf that he envisions.

But the thoughts are quickly discarded, stifled by the ring of the telephone. With a slight sigh, Michael answers. It's his boss, who apologizes for calling on a Sunday afternoon…

"No problem," Michael says, "that's what I'm here for."

There's a problem with the production cycle, his boss explains. Under the plant's new defense contract, there's a life cycle clause … basically the manufacturing cycle must produce the part as specified … and Mike's team, well, they re-engineered the original patent … the modification is a problem--"

"That's because it doesn't work," Michael interrupts, "or it won't work for long -- see the rotational axis…"

Somebody needs to make it work, the boss demands. He reads Michael the clause.

"A life cycle issue. I see."

"Good. Or it's a life cycle crisis, because Mike, this is a $23 million contract!"

"Sure, Bill, I get that part. It's the other part I don't get. You're saying that we need to upcycle the part, and a slight modification is okay … as long as it's true to the design. Any big change that calls for patent reapplication is a no-go. Even if it's better?

And safer, he thinks.

"That's it, Mike. I knew I could count on you!"

"So we don't care about a better mousetrap?"

The boss chuckles. "No, we care about the contract. Save the improvement for the boardroom."

…is this really the work for me? The thought briefly invades again. It's discarded by the sound of Michael's family -- and sudden anxiety that his job may be at stake.

"Mike? Are you there?"

"Sure, Bill, just thinking."

"Well, just think about the contract -- imagine the play it will have on your promotion. And well, buddy, about that better mousetrap … we can apply for patents, too."

Is this what I envisioned?

"We'll get together on that, once you get the crisis out of that life cycle. Any questions?"

"Is this the work for me?" Michael asks.

"I don't get it, Mike. Of course-- it's your job! That's what we pay you for."

"Just thinking out loud, Bill. But now that I've heard your answer, I didn't realize … for some reason I thought of my work differently, more valuable … "

"It is valuable! Like I said, that's a $23 million contract - with options for renewal!"

For Michael, this scenario isn't just a crisis in the business cycle. It's a life crisis. There's more at risk than career security. Michael's suddenly face-to-face with a values choice--the choice he makes speaks to his regard for his values and how he will continue a life path aligned with his values. The choice concerns his day-to-day decisions and his sense of esteem and personal fulfillment. Does he walk away or play the game?

The choice isn't easy. Yet it's much easier when your values are clear, making your decisions values-driven. Our values really do make life meaningful for us, and further tell us when to say yes … when to say no. Values also give us the armor to plough through even the toughest crises, discomfort and stress. They justify our actions so we can move forward without regret. Bob Pinkston phrased it with this apt paradox: "I've realized that values orientation means my decisions are sometimes harder, but they're easier to make." http://www.lifemanual.com/its-up-to-you.php

Revisit Michael's crisis. Consider how his values will lead him to a decision he can make without regret. What option would you choose, and what values would support it?

Michael's Value-Driven Options

- Option 1: Adjust the production process as the contract specifies. It's not very comfortable, but I also have an equal obligation to respect the contract and my employer. Career risk is a threat to my family's security, which is a very important value to me. And my decision could put my whole team at risk … are there alternative steps that might make me more comfortable and lead to a better resolution? Set goals … perhaps we can set goals as a team, too.

- Option 2: Quit! This isn't what my life is about. It's not what I thought my career was about. Hey! With the proceeds generated by my employer's termination clause, patent a shelf for neoangle showers. They're all the rage … nobody sells this kind of shelf, so I have a lucrative, exciting opportunity. We can do this as a family … our intimacy is an important value to me. I can also apply my real engineering skills, a potential that's important but not available to me at the current job. That's a value, too. I've forgotten about that one. Perhaps it's time to set new goals aligned with my real vision….

- Option 3: Consider all the consequences. Discuss the issue with my family and the team; my decision affects them and me. Besides, if my team thinks I'm selling out, it undermines our cohesiveness. I can also discuss this dilemma with the plant leadership -- perhaps we need to explore our company values … maybe the contract isn't a good fit. Maybe it can be adjusted. And my family is due for a check-up -- our values can determine the risks we're willing to take weighed against our security, fulfillment and our future.

It should be apparent that each decision is sound. With a values-oriented focus, the values important to Michael affirm each choice. Or they may even lead to another … what other options exist in this scenario or another … what values are paramount to your life, career and life choices?

Values do more than just sustain us through challenges and tough decisions. They define the challenge, clarify action steps and often, give rise to results that embrace new potentials, possibilities and goals. They move us from the 'sound and fury' of reaction and rationalization to promising comfort arising in reason.

Explore your values. Consider their influence before those demanding times of turnaround and recovery. Your values will lead to a sound strategy, one that drives the meaningful shift from 'life crisis' to life.

Article Source : Pg. 182

About Author
Both Abbey Grace Yap & Peter H. Thomas are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Abbey Grace Yap has sinced written about articles on various topics from Accounting Guide, Advertising Guide and Medicine. Choose Variety of High Quality Medicines at ">Online MedicinesEnjoyed Reading this article? More here:. Abbey Grace Yap's top article generates over 27100 views. to your Favourites.

Peter H. Thomas has sinced written about articles on various topics from Health. . Peter H. Thomas's top article generates over 720 views. to your Favourites.
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