You have probably heard this old expression sometime in your life and you know exactly what it means. For anyone who is married, you know how it is when your love life with your spouse seems to grow a little stale and might not seem to have the spark that it once did. It does not necessarily mean that your feelings have changed for the person you are married to, it is just that over time and because of the busy and complicated lives we lead, we might find ourselves not paying as much attention to each other as we should.
When both partners work and especially when there are children involved, it is really easy to get caught up in everyday life and allow the gap between us as lovers to grow. No one usually means for this to happen, it just does. It is not at all uncommon and it is probably nothing to become upset about unless you can not seem to recapture that old fire when you would like to. There are a few ways to check and see if the embers are still burning.
Couples must learn to make time for them selves every so often. How often you should be together alone will depend on how often you can fit it in, but it has to be done. Every couple needs a few hours here and there to be able to reconnect with each other alone with no interruptions and this time does not necessarily have to be sexual. Reviving your emotional connection to each other is just as important as the sexual connection because many times when a couple gets out of touch emotionally, it will lead to a decline in their sex life. Usually when a couple can stay connected emotionally, the sex will follow somehow.
If you want to put a little zing back in your relationship, try to do a few things together you have never done and once again it does not have to be sexual, at least in the beginning. Try going to a different place, meet for lunch, plan a weekend alone or hire a sitter in the middle of the week. Do anything that will break up the monotony sometimes. Buy your partner a small present or a big one for no reason at all, call during the day just to say I love you or make a plan for sex later. Anything spontaneous and unexpected can help to stay you connected in a hectic world.
A few of the men in the workshop thought of their cars, work colleagues, friends, even objects such as their new television, computer or recliner chair. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.
When it was my turn to share my ideal relationship, I had the perfect answer - my dog. My dog has very simple needs, and it is the ultimate ego-boost for me when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an enthusiastic fashion. I don't know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. It doesn't matter if I've been out all night or have been working all day long and come home a little tired. I call this unconditional love.
So what is unconditional love?
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, Hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to "real" love. Real love is loving your partner while being well aware of the fact that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You know your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that's okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.
This applies just as much back on you and your own faults. You realize and agree that you are the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You can admit that you also make mistakes, but that it's okay. That's called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is something more to this that we can take a lesson from. We tend to collect tons of problems through our walk of life, and are often tempted to let these issues rule our lives.
But if you are serious about saving your marriage you need to put the clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. And love will conquer them all.
Have a think about unconditional love and how you can apply this realization to your relationship.
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