Most of our desires, personality and drives have been pre-programmed into us at birth and through growing up within what I call our own individual circle of influence from friends and family.
Women definitely have a few main needs, interests, wants, and desires that need to be fulfilled when you are talking about their perfect man and relationships.
If you look at the numerous on-line dating websites which a women describes a partner she is striving to look for pretty much all mention that they are looking for friendship, perfect soul mate, loyal and stable etc etc. Yet if you look at what all the men are looking for in their on-line dating descriptions mentions nothing of this sort and always inevitably focus on physical looks and attractions.
However, if you look into more detail you will find a conflict between a woman's ultimate desires and what they describe.
For example, a woman may want a strong masculine and dominating man, yet once she has chosen and is now with him, she may also want independence and thus feel like she is stuck and wants freedom.
Another example maybe that a women maybe looking for a man who can make her laugh all the time, yet when she has now found this humorous man, she feels that he never takes anything she says or does seriously, And SHE was the one who wanted him because of this personality!
Don't get me wrong, men also have this dilemma as well but different ones.
An example of this could be that a man first thinks what he wants is a beautiful women in his arms who he can make love to all night long, yet she can be the type that is easily strayed to other men and is constantly on the search too even though she already has you. Now ask any man and that is a painful experience. Did he really desire this beautiful woman in the first place, I doubt it.
One funny one that I hear a lot of is when women complain, (OK not complain, if you're a woman reading this), share their opinion with their girlfriends on their man who is glued to sports and always talk about sports. Yet what does sports give their man? The women was initially attracted to their man because of his masculinity and dominancy, and sports by nature fulfills a mans desire of competition, dominancy of others, power, adrenaline, action and adventure.
Wasn't this all the traits that a women is attracted to their man in the first place. Now imagine their man changes and becomes submissive and gentle, his attraction to her would be lost almost immediately. She' be wondering why he has changed so much and why she has lost her attraction to him?
There are many articles available today about what is the perfect attributes to have in order for a man or a woman to adore you or be attracted to you. The following is our Top Ten List of qualities or attributes that if you or your partner have will guarantee you to have a healthy, balanced relationship as well as being an attractive person both inside and out.
1)BALANCED: Balanced can mean many things, for the purposes of our article, we mean that you or your partner has a good sense of boundaries, that that you and your partner are a whole person and have a healthy lifestyle.
More specifically, you or your partner knows how to maintain their own boundaries and respect the boundaries of their partner. They understand the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness.
It is important that you or your partner considers themself already a whole person, that you or your partner doesn't need someone to fill themselves up or complete them in order to be a complete person. They need to have the belief system that a partner is there to enhance and support their natural, authentic expression, but is not needed to complete who they are.
A healthy balance in their lifestyle is also important such as not working themselves too much, drinking or eating too much or doing anything in excess.
2)CONFIDENT: You or your partner are self-confident and have high self esteem. You are confident that you can handle new things, even if you have never done it before or if you may not get it right the first time around. You or your partner has an internal point of reference; you do not need to have reassurance and complements from others to be confident. At the same time you are confident enough to accept compliments or criticism, and are not afraid to give compliments to other people.
3) INDEPENDENT You can be a functional person without relying on another person and you are not codependent.
Codependency is a condition that results from dysfunctional patterns based on unhealthy relationships. These dysfunctional patterns are socially learned patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting which result in dependency on other people, places, organizations, things and events to create approval, appreciation, self worth and love to achieve a sense of safety, self esteem, purpose and identity.
4)RELATIONSHIP MASTERY SKILLS: You or your partner knows how to relate in a relationship. You or your partner know important skills like communication skills, conflict resolution and negotiation techniques.
5)EMOTIONAL OPENNESS: You and your partner are able to be emotionally open and honest, being able to express your opinions and be comfortable enough to allow and support your partner's emotional openness as well.
6)EMPATHETIC: You or your partner need to be able to empathize with the emotions, point of view and experiences of your partner, to be able to get right into their heads and feelings without judgment or trying to fix their situation.
7)UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: You and your partner need to understand the concept of unconditional love, to be able to love you partner whether you agree with their beliefs, emotions, feelings or behaviors. To be able to transcend the conditional love paradigm, even if you are not getting what you want at the given time.
8)ON DHARMIC PATH: A person who is on their dharmic path is someone who is in bliss for a great deal of their day. What a wonderful inspiration to be with someone who is on path.
9)NON-RESISTANT TO CHANGE: You or your partner is someone who is not in resistance to change, or at the very least understands when they are in resistance to change and allows themselves to go through the stages of adapting to change without resisting the process. You or your partner would need to understand and accept that change is a natural part of life.
10)SENSE OF HUMOUR: When the going gets tough, the tough start laughing. Do you ever find that when you make light of a difficult situation is a lot easier to get through? Well, having a partner who can make light of a situation (of course while still empathizing with your situation) is much easier on you than a partner who freaks out whenever something happens. Laughter brings gentle strength and renews your focus so you can be open to new ways of dealing with the situation.
Compatibility and knowing what are your wants, needs and requirements are all vital to finding your highest and best relationship. The list above, although depending upon your level of consciousness may seem a little out of reach. However, regardless of your personality and what you are seeking in a partner and what your partner is seeking in you, the list above are fail safe attributes that are universal to everyone that are within everyone's reach and will guarantee a healthy relationship that sets the stage for both stability and expansion.
Both Terry Leslie & Melody Chase are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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