What did you get rewarded for? What got you 'kudos'?
I ask these questions because the answers will shine the light on the set of RULES taken on by you when you were very young. In those early, impressionable, years you observed your environment and made up a Rulebook to help you get by.
You learned the rule that if you put your hand on a hot stove you would get burned. You learned the rule that in order to cross the street safely it's important to look both ways for oncoming traffic before you cross.
Perhaps you noticed that if you made a mistake your Mom would get angry, not very loving towards you. So, your wrote in your Rulebook: Love = not making any mistakes. If I want to be loved I have to not make mistakes - be perfect.
Or you might have written a rule that read something like this: If I'm a good girl I can have dessert so "extra food' is confirmation that you're good.
Or, you may have been told that men don't cry - so you rarely express any emotion when you're sad or hurt (until you can't keep it in any more and you explode!).
These rules served you well in your environment growing up as a child. Many of these rules have no relevance in your life today - yet you still live by that very same Rulebook that you created when you were oh so very young.
It's time to create some NEW RULES!
The most important step is to be WILLING.
Be willing to self-examine - without judgment. Be willing to take responsibility for all of your experiences good and bad.
Question your thinking and ask your Inner Wizard if there are thoughts that are holding you back. You developed these thoughts as a coping mechanism when you were young. This is how your Inner Critic was born. He served you then by keeping your safe. Does your Inner Critic and these thoughts serve you now? After all, you are no longer in that same environment.
You may discover that an event from your childhood has made you think that you need to respond to current situations in the same way you responded when you were young and just developing your skills. It may have been a good strategy when you were little but if it's not working for you now, then you need to change it. For example, if a parent scolded you as said you were 'bad' you might have created an "I'm not good enough" rule. Is this true? Of course not! Create a new rule. "I am good enough. I do plenty of good things for others and myself every day." And notice when you do something good - even if it's just offering a kind word to someone you work with.
Be mindful. Pay attention to how you react and what actions you take to solve certain problems. You should be able to see where how your behavior is creating the results that you get. Who made the decision upon which you took action - your Inner Critic or your Inner Wizard?
If you don't like the results then you your thoughts might benefit from a few minor adjustments. Often just becoming aware of what you've been doing will change your habit.
It takes practice. Just like when you learned how to ride a bike, you might have a wobbly experience at first. You might even skin your knees. That's ok. You will heal easily and eventually become an expert at riding your bike - and using your new rulebook!
If there are areas in your life that just aren't working whether it's with friends, work, or personal relationships, then this might be a clue that you are following old rules and it's time to create new ones that serve you instead of hold you back.
Give it a try. You'll be amazed at the difference you can make in your life simply by developing NEW RULES!
Copyright (c) 2009 Valery Satterwhite
Whilst for some lucky students, residency "in hall" may be an option; there is a huge demand for bed-sits, shared apartments or houses. It's a worrying time for parents and some of the accommodation, particularly in the big University towns, leaves a lot to be desired. Of particular concern are the big, multi storey, buildings occupied by several unrelated tenants and converted into individual self-contained units. Some of these are owned and operated by unscrupulous landlords whose only intention is to pack as many students into as small a place as possible, offering little in the way of comfort or even safety.
New rules are about to alter all that. They will undoubtedly cause problems for the landlords mentioned above, but should help those wanting to join the buy to let market by making these properties more interesting to mortgage lenders, who will see the attraction of well thought out and managed conversion schemes.
At the beginning of this year it was announced that from 5th April 2006 it will be necessary for such properties to be licensed before occupation. This should greatly improve the standard of accommodation. There will be an inspection, concentrating on room sizes, arrangement of accommodation and safety aspects and fire regulations. It will also be necessary for the landlord to produce evidence of acceptable plans regarding the future management and maintenance of the property. The Local Authority will issue the licenses at a cost of around ?100 per individual tenant for a five year licence. There will be a fine of up to ?20,000 for non compliance. The Licence is to be known as a Licence for Multiple Occupation. It will apply to property that is on at least three floors and is let to several unrelated tenants.
Go to www.propertylicensing.gov.uk for more information.
There is another regulation concerning Health and Safety. This is called the Housing Health and Safety Rating System. If a tenant is worried that the condition of the accommodation may be affecting their health in some way, they will be able to ask for an inspection to be carried out. Inspectors will be able to demand repairs and to apply fines to landlords of ?5,000.
The last regulation is regarding the deposit lodged with the landlord when taking out a tenancy. This deposit is normally refunded, provided the property is vacated in a fair condition at the end of the tenancy. Evidence has shown that some landlords refused carry out these refunds giving various dubious reasons for refusal. This, hopefully, is to be resolved by the Tenancy Deposit Scheme, which comes into force in October of this year. It is an amendment to the Housing Act of 2004.
It's proposed that: ?An independent, neutral, scheme administrator is appointed. ?The deposit is held by the administrator ?At the end of the tenancy, the tenant and landlord have to agree that either the whole or part of the deposit is repayable and inform the administrator of this. ?The scheme administrator must pay the sum/s within ten days, as in the terms of the agreement.
If it has not been possible to come to an agreement and it is necessary for the tenant or landlord to obtain a final court order to decide the proportion of each person's share of the money, then the administrator will immediately make such a payment.
If an administrator refunds a deposit, interest must be added. The rate has yet to be decided and will be specified by the Government. Additional interest to this will be held by the scheme administrator and used to provide funding for the Tenancy Deposit Scheme.
The costs of these improvements will obviously be reflected in the rental prices, however the tighter regulations will be reassuring for investors (and those worried parents!).
Both Valery Satterwhite & are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Valery Satterwhite has sinced written about articles on various topics from self improvement and motivation, Education and self improvement and motivation. Valery is the Founder of the International Association for Inner Wizards. Learn how to tame your Inner Critic (self-doubt and fear), empower your Inner Wizard (intuition and inspiration) to turn your dreams into reality. Your Inner Wizard is your best Coa. Valery Satterwhite's top article generates over 3600 views. to your Favourites.
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