I am sure that most of us have heard phases like, "in time, you will get over it" or "live it up, you are free now." To an extent, these words are true. But for those who are currently going through a break up can not seem to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
After a breakup, your main focus should be how you are going to move on and get back to feeling normal. But if you are not careful, you may unknowingly prolong the heartache by refusing or not being able to completely detach yourself from your past relationship. Only when you can completely let go of your past relationship will you be able to move on, have fun, and get your life back.
The first thing to avoid doing is continuing to check on your ex. After a breakup, you may feel the need to drive by your ex's apartment or job. Ways this can affect your progress to becoming a healthy person again depends on what you see. For instance, seeing your ex happy, smiling with a carefree attitude can give you an impression that he/she is over you, which can send you spiraling even deeper into depression. Even worst, imagine seeing your ex with another partner. This can cause anger and, in some cases, uncontrollable behavior.
Another common mistake to avoid is visiting places associated with your past relationship. For example, if you and your ex used to visit a particular park or eat at a particular restaurant, it would be a good idea to stay as far away as possible from those places. After significant time has lapsed, hopefully, visiting certain places from your past relationship will be reduced to careless memories.
In these hard times, friends are essential to helping you speed up the process of you leaving your past behind and moving forward. Though you may not feel like it, the best thing for you to do would be to go out and interact with others. Undoubtedly, your problems will still be on your mind, but a little distraction will not hurt.
Taking on a long-term project can also help when trying to move on after a break up. Always wanted to write a book or design a website, but did not have the time because you spent all of your free time with your ex? Now would be the best time to start such projects. Working on something that you are interested in can be so much of a distraction that you may not notice that the pain you were feeling from your break up has stopped.
Only then, when you are able to go through your day without constantly thinking about your ex, would you be ready to fully comment yourself to starting a new relationship.
Break ups are a most difficult part of life and relationships. When you are first starting that relationship, everything is new and exciting. Many times, as the relationship wears on, it becomes hard to be with someone who may not be right for you. As a result, many couples give up. Break ups can be amenable, but much of the time it is a very ugly situation. After a breakup, it is very common to feel disgust, contempt, or even hatred for your ex-significant other. If you have broken up with someone or someone has broken up with you and you are experiencing hatred toward them, this is a very unhealthy scenario. There are several reasons to try to get over the hatred you feel for your ex. First it is not healthy for you. Another reason is that there is no guarantee that your ex is as miserable as you are. The final reason is that you will find peace with yourself if you can get past this feeling of scorn.
The first reason to try to get over the hatred you feel for an ex is that it is physically unhealthy for you. This hatred that you feel for your ex causes extreme stress and unrest. This can be very bad for your body, as stress, not resolved, is a very harmful hormone that is released throughout your body. Seeds of hate can eat away at your physical body in a manner that is totally unhealthy. Being stressed out over something can make you physically sick. Stress has even been known to contribute to irregular heart beat. Your health is certainly more important than stressing over a past relationship.
Another reason to move past hatred you are feeling is that your misery may be one-sided. If you are hung up on your ex and are obsessing over your hatred of him or her everyday, you may be the only one suffering. The case may be that your ex has moved on completely and doesn't even think about your relationship anymore. While you are being eaten up by a caustic emotion, the person who is the object of your hate is not even fazed. That is pretty unfair when you think about it.
The final reason to get over your hatred for someone you used to date, besides your physical health is your emotional health. Just as your physical health can be affected and deteriorate, your emotional health can do much the same thing. Hatred is an emotion that can torment the person experiencing it. You might begin to become reclusive, and you might withdraw from your normal routines, and friends. This is definitely not emotionally healthy for you.
Overall, it is just not a good idea to let anger and hatred get the best of you. There are so many negative effects on your personal life that you should try your best to, if you can't forgive, forget. Though it won't be easy like flipping a switch, you can talk yourself out of a negative mood and into a positive mood if you repeat the effort every single day. Remind yourself that you are a great person and that, when you are ready, someone else will be very lucky to be in a relationship with you. Keep your eyes focused on the future instead of the past, and you will find the inner strength to get you over your hate, and get on with your life after a bitter break up.
Both Jimmy Walker & Kelly Church are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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